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Lying to feel better?!?



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So totally became this thread founder's hoochie nightmare yesterday by wearing a FABULOUS pair of size 16 Columbia sportswear 3/4 length flared pants. Heather grey, silky. Haven't worn those babies since 1998.

Pre-Lapland, I was a size 22. Since my December 19th surgery, I've worked like a madwoman to get the weight off. I'm down 45 pounds and I cried putting those Columbia pants on again. My ass has disappeared. As a size 16, after a decade at size 22, I feel like a Goddess. I looked great in these pants - and even more important, I felt amazing in them. Paired them with a snug v-neck t-shirt and a cute pair of sandals and honestly, I felt like a million bucks.

Would someone walking down the street sneer and judge and say,"Good LORD! Look at that woman wearing Columbia sportswear. She must be what, a size 16??! That woman needs to go home and put on some sweats!"? Well I'm not sure. The smile in my eyes and the bounce in my step as I wore those pants was my super-power against negativity.

I make no apologies if I offend your eyes or your sentiments or any other part of you. You have not gone through the process (yet!) of losing half your body-weight and so you are in absolutely no position to judge any of us who have. What we wear, how we wear it - - our business, our dance, our success.

Good luck with your surgery. I'm pretty sure we'll see you back here in a thread entitled "Holy crap I just went out in public wearing a thong!"

Woo woo! Stay positive!

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So totally became this thread founder's hoochie nightmare yesterday by wearing a FABULOUS pair of size 16 Columbia sportswear 3/4 length flared pants. Heather grey, silky. Haven't worn those babies since 1998.

Pre-Lapland, I was a size 22. Since my December 19th surgery, I've worked like a madwoman to get the weight off. I'm down 45 pounds and I cried putting those Columbia pants on again. My ass has disappeared. As a size 16, after a decade at size 22, I feel like a Goddess. I looked great in these pants - and even more important, I felt amazing in them. Paired them with a snug v-neck t-shirt and a cute pair of sandals and honestly, I felt like a million bucks.

Would someone walking down the street sneer and judge and say,"Good LORD! Look at that woman wearing Columbia sportswear. She must be what, a size 16??! That woman needs to go home and put on some sweats!"? Well I'm not sure. The smile in my eyes and the bounce in my step as I wore those pants was my super-power against negativity.

I make no apologies if I offend your eyes or your sentiments or any other part of you. You have not gone through the process (yet!) of losing half your body-weight and so you are in absolutely no position to judge any of us who have. What we wear, how we wear it - - our business, our dance, our success.

Good luck with your surgery. I'm pretty sure we'll see you back here in a thread entitled "Holy crap I just went out in public wearing a thong!"

Woo woo! Stay positive!

You GO girl!

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Well... for one, giving people more negative attention after they've already dealt with that crap their whole lives is cruel in my opinion. Why say something mean? Why not just say nothing? Also, it's a bit narcissistic to assume that every other person on this forum thinks, feels, and forms the same opinions as you do. Some may actually be being sincere in their compliments, we are all unique individuals and the world does not always agree with you. And to insult people as you have, calling them harlots and whatnot is simply something that someone who is not yet comfortable with themselves and envies those who are would say. Why would you want to express your disgust for people who are trying their hardest to change their lives and be better for the future? Why would you want to discourage them by body shaming them? To me it seems mean spirited and completely unnecessary, as an adult you should know by now to have compassion for those around you who are only human. That's all I have to say.

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I don't really look at post pictures on here often - but if I say you look good, I think you do... and if I think a different bra or a different cut would be more flattering, in person or online, I say so.

I'm likely to say, "You look amazing, but that __ doesn't really seem to do you justice."

And if you disagree, I certainly don't get offended. I am a good friend to take clothes shopping, because I resort to cell phone pictures of too tight white pants if you want to see.

I hope you'll do the same for me.

Edited by scstxrn

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@@TheProfessor, ROTFL!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

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Ok...I'm Pre-op, having surgery June 1st...but I've researched and been a part of the WLS groups for 20 years, I'm not the new kid on the block.

But I just joined several of the Facebook groups...What is up with lying to people about how they look??? People lying to me and my own self denial of how I looked is what got me up to 376! I am not going to sugar coat my response if you ask me how you look! EDITED TO ADD: I WOULD NEVER SAY/POST THE FOLLOWING THINGS THEY ARE STRICTLY IN MY HEAD. I am not (normally) a mean or cruel person. I'm so happy that you are down into a size 12 from a 22...but you REALLY need to be in a 14 because that dress is so tight I can see the outline of your pubic hair through that dress!

"Looking FINE in the neighborhood!" - Not really...unless you are the neighborhood harlot. Does WLS drain your brain cells with the fat cells?? I understand the desire to show off the hard work and the new you...but try to retain a bit of dignity and class...but perhaps those things don't really exist for most of us any more...because it seems like goal weight equals skank time clothes...

I try to refrain from replying to posts where people ask for opinions about how they look in their new outfit just for this reason...I'm not going to lie to you if you look bad, and I don't want to offend...but at the same time if it was me I would want someone to have the guts to say "Maybe you need to get a different bra because that dress was not designed for the sagging you are doing in the current bra" or "perhaps you might want to rethink those jeans...they are sucked so far up your crack you can probably taste the lycra in them!"

I know I'm a horrible person...but it's what I think!

Years ago, I was out with two sisters. One took off her denim jacket, and she had a bustier on underneath. She's not a heavy girl, but it was not a good look for her. She asked her sister how it looked and she said great. She asked me, and I said if it were me I'd put the jacket back on. They both were mad at me the rest of the night. Don't ask questions if you're not ready for the truth. And Facebook is full of people lying about how people look. I'm 48 years old, and I'm sorry but not every woman I went to high school hasn't aged a bit, or looks 25. And not everyone's daughter is absolutely stunning!!

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Ok...I'm Pre-op, having surgery June 1st...but I've researched and been a part of the WLS groups for 20 years, I'm not the new kid on the block.

But I just joined several of the Facebook groups...What is up with lying to people about how they look??? People lying to me and my own self denial of how I looked is what got me up to 376! I am not going to sugar coat my response if you ask me how you look! EDITED TO ADD: I WOULD NEVER SAY/POST THE FOLLOWING THINGS THEY ARE STRICTLY IN MY HEAD. I am not (normally) a mean or cruel person. I'm so happy that you are down into a size 12 from a 22...but you REALLY need to be in a 14 because that dress is so tight I can see the outline of your pubic hair through that dress!

"Looking FINE in the neighborhood!" - Not really...unless you are the neighborhood harlot. Does WLS drain your brain cells with the fat cells?? I understand the desire to show off the hard work and the new you...but try to retain a bit of dignity and class...but perhaps those things don't really exist for most of us any more...because it seems like goal weight equals skank time clothes...

I try to refrain from replying to posts where people ask for opinions about how they look in their new outfit just for this reason...I'm not going to lie to you if you look bad, and I don't want to offend...but at the same time if it was me I would want someone to have the guts to say "Maybe you need to get a different bra because that dress was not designed for the sagging you are doing in the current bra" or "perhaps you might want to rethink those jeans...they are sucked so far up your crack you can probably taste the lycra in them!"

I know I'm a horrible person...but it's what I think!

Years ago, I was out with two sisters. One took off her denim jacket, and she had a bustier on underneath. She's not a heavy girl, but it was not a good look for her. She asked her sister how it looked and she said great. She asked me, and I said if it were me I'd put the jacket back on. They both were mad at me the rest of the night. Don't ask questions if you're not ready for the truth. And Facebook is full of people lying about how people look. I'm 48 years old, and I'm sorry but not every woman I went to high school hasn't aged a bit, or looks 25. And not everyone's daughter is absolutely stunning!!

It's one thing to be blunt when a person is still at home and can change ( or at a store where they can put it back on the rack) but there's no reason to make a person feel uncomfortable when they're out in public and can't do anything about the way they're dressed.

Susan

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Lol this is funny to me! I think people think because they lost 50lbs they look good! Not always the case they may need to loose 50 more but they just see the improvement not the current look. I've also noticed people who loose weight don't know how to dress their new bodies. Bless their hearts :( I hope if I look a fool someone will tell me!!!! I ask my mom all the time how fat I look and she always says pretty fat still lol so I change! Thank goodness for honesty!

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Which is why I said if it were me I'd put the jacket back on. She could do that very easily. I'm sorry if she was uncomfortable but I'm no longer friends with them because they'd rather snicker behind everyone's back. If I hadn't said anything her sister would have told me how bad she looked in the bathroom.

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I hadn't read this whole thread, just the original post, but I went back and I can't believe everyone is so up in arms. This is a RANT thread so you'd expect some silly complaints. I guess I just don't sweat the small stuff. And I saw a couple people so offended they wanted to leave. I'm not sure this group is for ME if you attack someone for having an opinion you don't like.

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    • Alisa_S

      On day 4 of the 2 week liquid pre-op diet. Surgery scheduled for June 11th.
      Soooo I am coming to a realization
      of something and I'm not sure what to do about it. For years the only thing I've enjoyed is eating. We rarely do anything or go anywhere and if we do it always includes food. Family comes over? Big family dinner! Go camping? Food! Take a short ride or trip? Food! Holiday? Food! Go out of town for a Dr appointment? Food! When we go to a new town we don't look for any attractions, we look for restaurants we haven't been to. Heck, I look forward to getting off work because that means it's almost supper time. Now that I'm drinking these pre-op shakes for breakfast, lunch, and supper I have nothing to look forward to.  And once I have surgery on June 11th it'll be more of the same shakes. Even after pureed stage, soft food stage, and finally regular food stage, it's going to be a drastic change for the rest of my life. I'm giving up the one thing that really brings me joy. Eating. How do you cope with that? What do you do to fill that void? Wow. Now I'm sad.
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    • Alisa_S

      On day 4 of the 2 week liquid pre-op diet. Surgery scheduled for June 11th.
      Soooo I am coming to a realization
      of something and I'm not sure what to do about it. For years the only thing I've enjoyed is eating. We rarely do anything or go anywhere and if we do it always includes food. Family comes over? Big family dinner! Go camping? Food! Take a short ride or trip? Food! Holiday? Food! Go out of town for a Dr appointment? Food! When we go to a new town we don't look for any attractions, we look for restaurants we haven't been to. Heck, I look forward to getting off work because that means it's almost supper time. Now that I'm drinking these pre-op shakes for breakfast, lunch, and supper I have nothing to look forward to.  And once I have surgery on June 11th it'll be more of the same shakes. Even after pureed stage, soft food stage, and finally regular food stage, it's going to be a drastic change for the rest of my life. I'm giving up the one thing that really brings me joy. Eating. How do you cope with that? What do you do to fill that void? Wow. Now I'm sad.
      · 1 reply
      1. summerseeker

        Life as a big person had limited my life to what I knew I could manage to do each day. That was eat. I hadn't anything else to look forward to. So my eating choices were the best I could dream up. I planned the cooking in managable lots in my head and filled my day with and around it.

        Now I have a whole new big, bigger, biggest, best days ever. I am out there with those skinny people doing stuff i could never have dreamt of. Food is now an after thought. It doesn't consume my day. I still enjoy the good home cooked food but I eat smaller portions. I leave food on my plate when I am full. I can no longer hear my mother's voice saying eat it all up, ther are starving children in Africa who would want that!

        I still cook for family feasts, I love cooking. I still do holidays but I have changed from the All inclusive drinking and eating everything everyday kind to Self catering accommodation. This gives me the choice of cooking or eating out as I choose. I rarely drink anymore as I usually travel alone now and I feel I need to keep aware of my surroundings.

        I don't know at what point my life expanded, was it when I lost 100 pounds? Was it when I left my walking stick at home ? Was it when I said yes to an outing instead of finding an excuse to stay home ? i look back at my last five years and wonder how loosing weight has made such a difference. Be ready to amaze yourself.

        BTW, the liquid diet sucks, one more day and you are over the worst. You can do it.

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    • KimBaxleyWilson

      Three months and four days ago... I was in Costa Rica having a life changing surgery! Yesterday we had a followup visit with Dr. Esmeral via video chat and this morning my middle number changed.  I'm down 47lbs and two pants sizes. I can wear a Large tshirt for the first time in like... 14 years! Woot!! Everything is going great. I have zero regrets. I went down to the riverwalk with a friend and walked 2 miles on Monday without even getting fatigued. And no more snoring or chugging pickle juice for crazy leg cramps! I need to go to the gym more... I'm making new shirts next week so that will motivate me. LOL But I'm also just not as TIRED all the time! I have a LONG way to go...but seeing the progress on the scales and in the mirror is a huge motivator!! Thank you all for cheering me on and supporting me!!
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