Feeling negative & doubtful. Need buddies and support!
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Hi All,
My surgery is the 26th and I'm fighting a lot of anger, mostly that I have to give up a crutch that has served me during hard times but has no place in my life anymore. I'm also sad because I feel like I've failed in some way-after all, WLS is a "last resort"-I feel a bit backed into a corner.
I am HATING a the liquid diet. I already switched Protein powders because my stomach is so sensitive, but sometimes I just feel like I can't tolerate any more protein so I'll eat a little something like veggies or salad. I think it's better this way than to make myself feel totally awful then end up binging.
So, sorry for the pessimism. While all of the above is true for me, its also true that I feel optimistic for the first time in a while and I feel like I've started to come alive again, even if a lot of the emotions are painful and/or negative. I hope this makes sense.
I think it's really easy sometimes to get wrapped up in success stories and before and after pictures and look at it all through the happy lense in your mind, only to realize the really difficult parts and hard work that's coming up and get grumpy about it all again!
I am someone who has struggled with emotion regulation and anxiety, and I'm proud to say at this point I'm skilled enough at keeping my moods at bay (through very helpful treatment with a doc and a therapist) that I feel grounded enough to take this on. I know I'm going to get through it fine, but sometimes it sucks. Right now I'm really learning how to find peace inside instead of through food, cigarettes, or other addictions.
So, just needed to vent, thanks for listening. Any pearls of wisdom or support are greatly appreciated!
Good luck to everyone else whose surgeries are coming up!