Jump to content
×
Are you looking for the BariatricPal Store? Go now!

Can you MAKE me feel worse?



Recommended Posts

So I go for my stress test for my heart issues today, and man, did I regret doing it. Not because of the test, but for the incredibly uncomfortable situation I was put in while undergoing the test. Many of you know I have so many scars, from SO many surgeries over the years, I make frankenbride look like Heidi Klum! I always try to warn people who need to see me in a state of undress what they are about to see, because it IS quite shocking to someone unfamiliar with my situation. And most folks handle it accordingly.

Today was just unbelievable. I put on the ever-cute hospital gown, and as the gal who took the readings removed the part to expose my torso for the pads they must place for the test, her face told it all. Not sadness or pity like a lot show, but repulsiveness. She would slap that gown over me again every time she had open it like it was on fire. Huff and puff with disgust, like it was all she could do to be there and do her job.

It was bad enough I had been without food for almost 5 hours (you can't eat for 4 hours prior to the test), and I normally eat every 3 hours. So I was feeling pretty faint, and tried to explain to her I needed to speed this whole thing up. I told her about having the sleeve surgery, and she told me how she knew about that surgery and "all the repercussions" that followed it. IF I had been in my right mind at the time, I would have laid it on the line for her, and called her out on it. But I wasn't up to par with my queasiness. She acted so disgusted, and repulsed, and all I wanted to do was.....cry.

I didn't, but it's like, hey - I have been through HELL over the years, more times than anyone should ever have to go through. When I look at someone who has the physical evidence of horrific things that has happened to them, I feel compassion. Empathy. Sympathy. Love. This gal was young, probably 30 or so. I am not. But considering what I have been through, I look pretty good, if I do say so myself!

As I am lying on this table, with my torso exposed for all to see, I have 2 women and one man hovering over me like I am something from a freak museum. WHEN will hospital staff act like they are mature, adult, compassionate HUMAN BEINGS instead of moronic morons (like that term???!!!) who feel they are superior to us lowly patients who shouldn't even soil their floors with our footsteps??????

Yes, I am venting, and I apologize. I cannot tell what occurred to my husband, who would go in there like the thundering cop he can be, and DEAL with them. So I thank you for listening (or reading!!!), and letting me vent. Tonight I am greatly saddened. I do not even know what the results of my test are, but I'm not sure I care at this point. I know one thing. I WILL NOT be using this hospital again for ANYTHING. I am at this point, after so many surgeries, where I think I have just had too much, and cannot do anymore. I just can't right now. I can't see those people standing over me, looking at me like that. No more. I am sooo tired. No more.

Thanks for letting me vent.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

I hate that you were made to feel that way. That's a problem some (especially young) health care professionals have, they forget that their patients are actually people, with feelings. They don't bother to use tact and kindness because they are too focused on "doing the job" rather than helping the patient.

You deserve to be treated with respect. I think I'm all for your husband's probable reaction.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Whew. CanyonBaby I wasn't even there and I am fuming over here. The unmitigated gall they have to look at you and treat you any other way then as a human being deserving of dignity and respect is beyond me. I'll tell you what....I am a huge believer in letting my pen do the talking. I would find out who their Supervisors and Managers are and I would get to writing, everybody would get a letter of complaint and I would probably call a few of them also and talk to them directly. Those scars you have are there for a reason. The reason is because you are a survivor and you are strong and without a doubt whatever comes your way you are made up of the stuff that will take it on head on. Without ever having met you face to face I know from reading your posts here the kindness and care you show for others, you are a wonderful person. Never forget that to those that really matter in your life you are loved,appreciated and highly esteemed. I can relate to what your going through with your heart and the tests. I too have a horrible family history of heart disease. Hang in there everything is going to be just fine. Listen if your in California and you want me to I'll go back to that doctors office with you and we can give those retards a piece of our mind ???? You just say the word and I'm there. Sorry that my post is so long and I know there are gramatical errors too but I'm really peeved at this so please forgive me. As always sending you positive thoughts, I'm keeping you in my prayers and great big ole hug to you.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Im in tears reading what happened to you, I'm so sorry you were made to feel that way, i just want to give you a massive hug.!!

Edited by VSGmary

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

You need to write a letter. Now, while you are one step removed from the situation but while it is still fresh in your mind.

Detail what you've been through, what you advised the providers, the reactions you perceived and how it made you feel.

You deserve an apology and they deserve to be informed of how their reactions affected you. Do this for yourself and for the next patient who comes in with a less than perfect body.

Deliver that letter personally to the office manager so they put a face to it. Seriously.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Keep your head raised up high you have come along way these people are a disgust to the medical industries.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

I'm so sorry this happened to you and wish there was something magical I could say that would erase the memory for you. Just know that you have our support and good wishes. You can't cure this type of unfeeling, it's ingrained, but I for one believe in Karma. Someday this person will experience the same kind of pain that she inflicted on you. What goes around comes around.

In the meantime I hope you're feeling a little better now. Don't spend another minute giving her a thought. She isn't worth it!

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

In my experience these people are fairly few and far between, thankfully, which makes them so noticeable when you have to ill fortune to get one of them. I am really sad and perturbed about this because you are clearly an optimistic happy go lucky kind of canyon baby so if this was anxiety producing to you it must have been bad. I agree with lipstick lady that the hospital needs to be informed, not only for you but for the next ones who are subject to this rotten behavior.

Some people just suck.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

And the other friends who suggested you write. I got steamed up and singleminded.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

I am sorry you were treated this way.

I am going to gently suggest that due to the very emotional nature if this process you might be reading alot I to it that wasn't there. Maybe the look on her face was remembering the scars on her own mother and having to process all that while doing her job. Maybe she was pissed off over a speeding ticket. .. I don't know.

Anyway. .those people aren't important to you. It is a waste of human energy to get so upset by people that just don't matter.

I have noticed people treat me better when I feel self centered and confidence. I have realized that some of it is me...not "them"

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

I know it's not the most desirable solution, but your statement of "never going to that hospital again" is probably your best option. I'm in the same boat as you medically and require ongoing routine tests often, which can be tedious.

I have found that within our medical system, the conditions you describe to be very typical and prevalent. That being said, I have also found very professional and caring providers as well. and I always tell them so. As for the rude and inept ones..... their attitude and actions are totally unacceptable and just like your husband, I quickly let them know as I exit. I'm paying for professional service and care, not disrespect and abuse. I doubt my tirades will change them, but it makes me feel better. <_<

Either way, they're not getting my money, time or consideration. Maybe the money motivator with facilitate a change. Either way, there are plenty of others to choose from. Don't give up. Be strong, you are not the one wrong. ;)

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

I am on the "speak up" side of the fence on this one. Write a letter to the hospital's Administrator. Then if / when you get a Press-Gainey survey, attach a copy of your post to that, too. The Administrator won't know what needs to be fixed if he / she does not hear from patients like yourself. Patients are customers and hospitals are service providers. I am sorry that the staff is so crude and tactless. A lot of places will not addess anonymous verbal complaints, so definitley put it in writing. I also like the idea of hand-delivering your letter or at least Return Receipt by mail addressed CONFIDENTIAL, to the Administrator. Hugs from Chicago.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

I'm hurt and angry on your behalf. I'm so sorry this happened and I do hope you report it before they do it to someone else :(

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

CanyonBaby

"The pen is mightier than the sword."

Write to the hospital and let them know how you were treated. There is NO excuse for a "professional" to treat anyone the way you were treated. If hospital staff cannot treat a patient with compassion, then they should go to work for McDonalds. I am writing this from the prospective of knowing many nurses and doctors and NONE of them would treat a patient like that.

Please don't let them get away with this. Think about if it was a child that this person acted that way with, and how that would make that child and it's parents feel.

No excuse, none!

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

I say write the letter and hold it for the weekend. Read it many times and make it clear how they can improve..it can be personal too, but more effective in my opinion to educate and not berate

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Create an account or sign in to comment

You need to be a member in order to leave a comment

Create an account

Sign up for a new account in our community. It's easy!

Register a new account

Sign in

Already have an account? Sign in here.

Sign In Now

  • Trending Products

  • Trending Topics

  • Recent Status Updates

    • Doughgurl

      2 days until I fly out to San Diego to have my Bypass Surg. in Tiajuana Mexico. Not gonna lie, the nerves are starting to surface. I don't fear the surgery itself, or the fact that I'm traveling alone, but its the aftermath that I'm stressing about the most, after this 8 week wait. I'm excited to finally be here, but I am really dreading the post surgical chapter. I know its going to be tough, real tough and I think I'm just in my head to much now that the day i here. Wish me luck, Hopefully I'm one of the lucky ones, and everything goes smoothly. Cant wait to give an exciting update,. If there is anyone else have a June bypass or even a recent one, Id love to have someone to compare war stories with. Also, anyone near San Antonio Tx? See ya soon with the future me. 💜
      · 0 replies
      1. This update has no replies.
    • LeighaTR

      I am new here today... and only two weeks out from my sleeve surgery on the 23rd. I am amazed I have kept my calories down to 467 today so far... that leaves me almost 750 left for dinner and maybe a snack. This is going to be tough for two weeks... but I have to believe I can do it!
      · 0 replies
      1. This update has no replies.
    • Doughgurl

      Hey everyone. I'm new here so I thought I should introduce myself. I am 53y/o and am scheduled for Gastric Bypass on June 25th, 2025. I'm located in San Antonio, Texas. I will be having my surgery in Tiajuana Mexico. I've wanted this for years, but I always had insurance where bariatric procedures were excluded. Finally I am able to afford to pay out of pocket.  I can't wait to get started, and I hope I'm prepared for the initial period of "hell". I know what I have signed up for, but I'm sure the good to come will out way the temporary period of discomfort and feelings of regret. I'd love to find people to talk to who have been through the same procedure or experience before. So I look forward to meeting you all. Hope you have a great week!
      · 2 replies
      1. Selina333

        I'm so happy for you! You are about to change your life. I was so glad to get the sleeve done in Dec. I didn't have feelings of regret overall. And I'm down almost 60 lbs. I do feel a little sad at restaurants. I can barely eat half a kid's meal. I get adults meals often because kid ones don't have the same offerings at times. Then I feel obligated to eat on that until it's gone and that can be days. So the restaurant thing isn't great for me. All the rest is fine by me! I love feeling full with very little. I do wish I could drink when eating. And will sip at the end. Just a strong habit to stop. But I'm working on it! You will do fine! Just keep focused on your desire to be different. Not better or worse. But different. I am happy both ways but my low back doesn't like me that heavy. So I listened (also my feet!). LOL! Update us on your journey! I'm not far from you. I'm in Houston. Good luck and I hope it all goes smoothly! Would love to see pics of the town you go to for this. I've never been there. Neat you will be traveling for this! Enjoy the journey. Take it one day at a time. Sometimes a few hours at a time. Follow all recommendations as best you can. 💗

      2. Doughgurl

        Thank you so much for your well wishes. I am hoping that everything goes easy for me as well. We don't eat out much as it is, so it wont be too bad in that department. Thankfully. Also, I hear you regarding your back and feet!! I'd like to add knees to the list. Killing me as we speak! I'm only 5' so the weight has to go. Too short to carry all this weight. Menopause really did a doosey on me. (😶lol) My daughter also lives in Houston. with her Husband and my 5 grand-littles. I grew up in Beaumont, so I know Houston well, I will be sure to keep in touch and update you on my journey. I may need some advice in the future, or just motivation. Thank You so much for reaching out, I was hoping to connect with someone in the community. I really appreciate it. 💜

    • Alisa_S

      On day 4 of the 2 week liquid pre-op diet. Surgery scheduled for June 11th.
      Soooo I am coming to a realization
      of something and I'm not sure what to do about it. For years the only thing I've enjoyed is eating. We rarely do anything or go anywhere and if we do it always includes food. Family comes over? Big family dinner! Go camping? Food! Take a short ride or trip? Food! Holiday? Food! Go out of town for a Dr appointment? Food! When we go to a new town we don't look for any attractions, we look for restaurants we haven't been to. Heck, I look forward to getting off work because that means it's almost supper time. Now that I'm drinking these pre-op shakes for breakfast, lunch, and supper I have nothing to look forward to.  And once I have surgery on June 11th it'll be more of the same shakes. Even after pureed stage, soft food stage, and finally regular food stage, it's going to be a drastic change for the rest of my life. I'm giving up the one thing that really brings me joy. Eating. How do you cope with that? What do you do to fill that void? Wow. Now I'm sad.
      · 1 reply
      1. LeighaTR

        I hope your surgery on Wednesday goes well. You will be able to do all sorts of new things as you find your new normal after surgery. I don't know this from experience yet, but I am seeing a lot of positive things from people who have had it done. Best of luck!

    • Alisa_S

      On day 4 of the 2 week liquid pre-op diet. Surgery scheduled for June 11th.
      Soooo I am coming to a realization
      of something and I'm not sure what to do about it. For years the only thing I've enjoyed is eating. We rarely do anything or go anywhere and if we do it always includes food. Family comes over? Big family dinner! Go camping? Food! Take a short ride or trip? Food! Holiday? Food! Go out of town for a Dr appointment? Food! When we go to a new town we don't look for any attractions, we look for restaurants we haven't been to. Heck, I look forward to getting off work because that means it's almost supper time. Now that I'm drinking these pre-op shakes for breakfast, lunch, and supper I have nothing to look forward to.  And once I have surgery on June 11th it'll be more of the same shakes. Even after pureed stage, soft food stage, and finally regular food stage, it's going to be a drastic change for the rest of my life. I'm giving up the one thing that really brings me joy. Eating. How do you cope with that? What do you do to fill that void? Wow. Now I'm sad.
      · 1 reply
      1. summerseeker

        Life as a big person had limited my life to what I knew I could manage to do each day. That was eat. I hadn't anything else to look forward to. So my eating choices were the best I could dream up. I planned the cooking in managable lots in my head and filled my day with and around it.

        Now I have a whole new big, bigger, biggest, best days ever. I am out there with those skinny people doing stuff i could never have dreamt of. Food is now an after thought. It doesn't consume my day. I still enjoy the good home cooked food but I eat smaller portions. I leave food on my plate when I am full. I can no longer hear my mother's voice saying eat it all up, ther are starving children in Africa who would want that!

        I still cook for family feasts, I love cooking. I still do holidays but I have changed from the All inclusive drinking and eating everything everyday kind to Self catering accommodation. This gives me the choice of cooking or eating out as I choose. I rarely drink anymore as I usually travel alone now and I feel I need to keep aware of my surroundings.

        I don't know at what point my life expanded, was it when I lost 100 pounds? Was it when I left my walking stick at home ? Was it when I said yes to an outing instead of finding an excuse to stay home ? i look back at my last five years and wonder how loosing weight has made such a difference. Be ready to amaze yourself.

        BTW, the liquid diet sucks, one more day and you are over the worst. You can do it.

  • Recent Topics

  • Hot Products

  • Sign Up For
    Our Newsletter

    Follow us for the latest news
    and special product offers!
  • Together, we have lost...
      lbs

    PatchAid Vitamin Patches

    ×