I did however strike up a conversation with a man, probably mid to late 50s who is clearly disabled by obesity. He walks painfully with a cane, I would say he is headed toward a scooter soon.

Anyway, after we chatted for awhile I brought up that I used to weigh twice what I do now, I didn't get into the surgery or anything. He replied "at this point, I have decided that I just enjoy my food and drink too much and am not willing to change".

It hit me in a very positive way. I mean, this man is clearly intelligent, understands there are options and has made his choice. Of course what i know NOW but didn't know then is how much better life is when you aren't packing around the weight of an extra human - dang that is exhausting and demoralizing! Even so, I must acknowledge that the sacrifices are significant too.

Anyway, I share this tidbit as I know many of us want to become WLS evangelists but not everyone wants to be "saved". I pretty much feel that way about the religion peddlers that knock on my door too... so I get it.

???

He made a decision about what he enjoys, and he's made the decision to sacrifice certain things to do so. It's not up to me (or us) to say whether or not he's making a bad decision. The fact is, many of us have things in our lives that we could cut out and potentially live happier, healthier lives (or just healthier), whether it's food, caffeine, smoking, alcohol, etc. He's decided that at the moment, he's okay with what he's potentially sacrificing. I'm not going to say he's wrong just because it's not what I would have done.

I don't go around preaching to strangers and acquaintances, either. If someone would have done that to me, I would have been offended. And it would not have done any good because none of can lose weight without the right mindset. No one can give that to us.

The man the OP referred to clearly knows what he wants to do. People get bad health diagnoses every day, and they have choices. Depending on the disease, they can make lifestyle changes, they can have surgery, or they can take medication. Or they can do nothing. I know plenty of people who have been diagnosed with cancer and CHOSE no treatment. They decide to let the disease run its course, because for them, the treatment isn't worth the emotional/physical cost to them. They died, and they did so satisfied with their decision. It's a personal decision.

Choosing to lose weight really isn't that different. It requires a drastic and permanent change in lifestyle. Some people CHOOSE to not make the changes required, and it's their right to do so. I think for us to judge them for is a bit righteous. Sharing your experience with someone seeking information is helpful. Trying to enlighten total strangers is probably not. I applaud the OP for her insight. She saw an opportunity that probably seemed like this person was presenting, and then as soon as she realized that wasn't the case, she backed off.

Slightly different for me, is the case of my brother. He is morbidly obese and is now diabetic. I worry about him, and I know he will never be able to lose the weight without surgery. He is cut from the same genetic mold as me, and now has a disease that makes losing weight even more difficult. I do encourage him to think about WLS, but he is afraid of surgery, and I think he is not ready to change his lifestyle. That is his decision, and I respect it, but his decision also impacts us, his family. So, I'll no doubt continue to gently push on this with him. If he had a cancer diagnosis, I would also want to weigh in on those treatment choices. I probably sound hypocritical, but I see how approach strangers vs.loved ones as a different animal.