I want to approach her and hand her literature on the benefits of WLS. I want to urge her to drop that doughnut. those fries, that frappaccino and start a lowcarb/high Protein diet NOW NOW NOW while she still has good knees, a strong back, a great metabolism. I want to tell her to get that weight off NOW so she can spend her 20s and 30s looking great in the latest fashions, enjoy shopping at ANY store, maintain her healthy heart.

But I won't and it kills me. EVERY.SINGLE.DAY.

I have two girls in high school and I just see teens getting bigger and bigger and bigger. I remember when I was "curvier" than most of the girls in my high school and I was a size 2! I wasn't fat by any means, but most of the girls had stick arms and legs, no boobs, no hips. Now these girls have big bums, huge boobs, muffin tops that make Dunkin Donuts jealous. There used to be 5 or 6 heavier teens in a grade, now about 40% of them are in the overweight range if not almost obese.

I am not saying WLS is the answer for teens, but I am wondering when we are going to get it together and teach our children good nutrition NOW so they don't suffer with obesity later. I seriously worry about the future of our kids' health.

Personally I feel that regardless of whether it's the desire to or the actual action of going up to obese people to tell them the wonders of WLS, it's wrong and usually it's motivations are rooted in ulterior motives.

Former fat people who promote or indulge in this practice of offering unsolicited advice to random obese people , try and claim that they're doing out of care and concern but really it's more about boosting their own ego and self esteem.

It's faux concern, you don't really care about these people. If you really did, you would take the time and energy to get to know them before offering any life changing advice. If you are not willing to spend the time to know them, be actively supportive if they do decide to proceed with wls, go with them to dr's appointments, help them after surgery, then you don't really have right to be offering unsolicited advice about wls.

It also has be said that there's a slice of narcissism involved in going up to people and advertising the benefits of Wls and how it's helped you. Do you really think you're going to be the hero of their story? Do you really think that after you offer your advice the said person will go have instantly proceed with wls and live happily ever after? Do you really think that you are the first person to approach them? Do you really think they completely ignorant about Wls?

I just think that when someone takes an interest or actually decides to actually have surgery, it's best if that decision or interest is totally organic and not because someone else (especially a stranger) has badgered them into it

Personally I feel that regardless of whether it's the desire to or the actual action of going up to obese people to tell them the wonders of WLS, it's wrong and usually it's motivations are rooted in ulterior motives.

Former fat people who promote or indulge in this practice of offering unsolicited advice to random obese people , try and claim that they're doing out of care and concern but really it's more about boosting their own ego and self esteem.

It's faux concern, you don't really care about these people. If you really did, you would take the time and energy to get to know them before offering any life changing advice. If you are not willing to spend the time to know them, be actively supportive if they do decide to proceed with wls, go with them to dr's appointments, help them after surgery, then you don't really have right to be offering unsolicited advice about wls.

It also has be said that there's a slice of narcissism involved in going up to people and advertising the benefits of Wls and how it's helped you. Do you really think you're going to be the hero of their story? Do you really think that after you offer your advice the said person will go have instantly proceed with wls and live happily ever after? Do you really think that you are the first person to approach them? Do you really think they completely ignorant about Wls?

I just think that when someone takes an interest or actually decides to actually have surgery, it's best if that decision or interest is totally organic and not because someone else (especially a stranger) has badgered them into it

I agree with this, especially the part about ulterior motives, boosting their own egos and self esteem and narcissism. The whole post is well said.

Personally I feel that regardless of whether it's the desire to or the actual action of going up to obese people to tell them the wonders of WLS, it's wrong and usually it's motivations are rooted in ulterior motives.

Wait, what? It's wrong to have the desire to tell people about it? As I stated earlier, I would NEVER actually approach anyone, but I have to disagree with you that my desire to reach out to them is motivated by my own self esteem, bolstering of ego, etc.

That's nonsense.

That's like saying it's wrong to WANT a piece of chocolate cake or a bowl of ice cream while relearning good nutrition. Actually consuming something off plan might be a bad choice, but the desire is normal and natural.

Protip: It's a great idea if you're going to comment on a thread that you actually read the opening post.

Or not. Your choice, of course.

Personally I feel that regardless of whether it's the desire to or the actual action of going up to obese people to tell them the wonders of WLS, it's wrong and usually it's motivations are rooted in ulterior motives.

Wait, what? It's wrong to have the desire to tell people about it? As I stated earlier, I would NEVER actually approach anyone, but I have to disagree with you that my desire to reach out to them is motivated by my own self esteem, bolstering of ego, etc.

That's nonsense.

That's like saying it's wrong to WANT a piece of chocolate cake or a bowl of ice cream while relearning good nutrition. Actually consuming something off plan might be a bad choice, but the desire is normal and natural.

No offense but you have stated this various times throughout the thread, I get it. My post was talking about in general about people who do this, not you specifically!!!!

Well, your entitled to think my opinion is nonsense, I personally think that your assertion that people who approach fat people has nothing to do with bolstering their own esteem or ego is bull roar. We'll have to agree to disagree!

Regardless of whether one considers it natural or not, imo still wrong. If you want try and normalise this behaviour that's your prerogative.

Protip: It's a great idea if you're going to comment on a thread that you actually read the opening post.

Or not. Your choice, of course.

I don't know who this shady comment is directed at but if it is me then fyi i have thread thoroughly. I totally get what the op is saying even though i disagree with parts of it.

The real question did you actually thoroughly read my response??

Another protip: Reading and Comprehension is key!!!!!

Personally I feel that regardless of whether it's the desire to or the actual action of going up to obese people to tell them the wonders of WLS, it's wrong and usually it's motivations are rooted in ulterior motives.

Former fat people who promote or indulge in this practice of offering unsolicited advice to random obese people , try and claim that they're doing out of care and concern but really it's more about boosting their own ego and self esteem.

It's faux concern, you don't really care about these people. If you really did, you would take the time and energy to get to know them before offering any life changing advice. If you are not willing to spend the time to know them, be actively supportive if they do decide to proceed with wls, go with them to dr's appointments, help them after surgery, then you don't really have right to be offering unsolicited advice about wls.

It also has be said that there's a slice of narcissism involved in going up to people and advertising the benefits of Wls and how it's helped you. Do you really think you're going to be the hero of their story? Do you really think that after you offer your advice the said person will go have instantly proceed with wls and live happily ever after? Do you really think that you are the first person to approach them? Do you really think they completely ignorant about Wls?

I just think that when someone takes an interest or actually decides to actually have surgery, it's best if that decision or interest is totally organic and not because someone else (especially a stranger) has badgered them into it

I agree with this, especially the part about ulterior motives, boosting their own egos and self esteem and narcissism. The whole post is well said.

Aww Thanks

You're welcome.

Personally I feel that regardless of whether it's the desire to or the actual action of going up to obese people to tell them the wonders of WLS, it's wrong and usually it's motivations are rooted in ulterior motives.

Wait, what? It's wrong to have the desire to tell people about it? As I stated earlier, I would NEVER actually approach anyone, but I have to disagree with you that my desire to reach out to them is motivated by my own self esteem, bolstering of ego, etc.

That's nonsense.

That's like saying it's wrong to WANT a piece of chocolate cake or a bowl of ice cream while relearning good nutrition. Actually consuming something off plan might be a bad choice, but the desire is normal and natural.

No offense but you have stated this various times throughout the thread, I get it. My post was talking about in general about people who do this, not you specifically!!!!

Well, your entitled to think my opinion is nonsense, I personally think that your assertion that people who approach fat people has nothing to do with bolstering their own esteem or ego is bull roar. We'll have to agree to disagree!

Regardless of whether one considers it natural or not, imo still wrong. If you want try and normalise this behaviour that's your prerogative.

It's hard to know to whom one is speaking when no one is quoted. That said, you did say that the DESIRE to approach someone is wrong which is bizarre to me. I totally agree with you that actually acting on that desire is wrong, even if I don't agree that it's motivated by ego/self esteem.

I think some people are genuinely trying to help, not realizing how detrimental their actions might be.

It seems that you have desire to act and actual ACTION confused.

I wish someone had told me about weight loss surgery 20 years ago or even 10. I'll be 41 in may surgery April 21st I hope. I'm just glad my uncle took the time 3 yes ago to tell me how much he loved me & how afraid for me he was & how his find had had the lap band & how much better he felt. I know it was one if the hardest things he had done but I'm so grateful he got me thinking about changing my life. I can never repay him. :-)

I don't know who this shady comment is directed at but if it is me then fyi i have thread thoroughly. I totally get what the op is saying even though i disagree with parts of it.

Protip: It's a great idea if you're going to comment on a thread that you actually read the opening post.

Or not. Your choice, of course.

The real question did you actually thoroughly read my response??

Another protip: Reading and Comprehension is key!!!!!

Yeah, I was talking to you.

If you understood the OP didn't intend to approach or speak to anyone, why did part of your last post sound like you thought she was going to march up to a young woman and say, "Hey, fatty -- considered weight loss surgery?"

And yeah, I understood your response. You think that a person who's been fat (but now isn't) who feels empathy for a fat person and their physical and emotional pain is fucked up.

Edited March 31, 201511 yr by VSGAnn2014

I don't know who this shady comment is directed at but if it is me then fyi i have thread thoroughly. I totally get what the op is saying even though i disagree with parts of it.

Protip: It's a great idea if you're going to comment on a thread that you actually read the opening post.

Or not. Your choice, of course.

The real question did you actually thoroughly read my response??

Another protip: Reading and Comprehension is key!!!!!

Yeah, I was talking to you.

If you understood the OP didn't intend to approach or speak to anyone, why did part of your last post sound like you thought she was going to march up to a young woman and say, "Hey, fatty -- considered weight loss surgery?"

And yeah, I understood your response. You think that a person who's been fat (but now isn't) who feels empathy for a fat person and their physical and emotional pain is fucked up.

As i said reading and comprehension is key. I already said that i was talking about people in general and not the OP. I ain't scared of the OP, if i wanted to call her out directly, i would have done so but i was talking generally not specifically. Hope this post enlightens your confusion.

While i respect your opinion, i don't agree with it. I consider myself to be extremely empathetic to point that where i realise that whilst telling some random stranger about benefits of WLS might yield a positive outcome, there's a massive risk that the opposite may happen and the approached person ends up feeling shit about themselves. I would rather secretly hope that everything works out for them.

I already said that i was talking about people in general and not the OP. I ain't scared of the OP, if i wanted to call her out directly, i would have.

Wait...whuuuuuut?!?

Why in the world would ANYONE be "scared" of me? This conversation is getting even more ridiculous. Hahahahaha!

Anyone else smell something fishy going on here?

Personally I feel that regardless of whether it's the desire to or the actual action of going up to obese people to tell them the wonders of WLS, it's wrong and usually it's motivations are rooted in ulterior motives.

Wait, what? It's wrong to have the desire to tell people about it? As I stated earlier, I would NEVER actually approach anyone, but I have to disagree with you that my desire to reach out to them is motivated by my own self esteem, bolstering of ego, etc.

That's nonsense.

That's like saying it's wrong to WANT a piece of chocolate cake or a bowl of ice cream while relearning good nutrition. Actually consuming something off plan might be a bad choice, but the desire is normal and natural.

No offense but you have stated this various times throughout the thread, I get it. My post was talking about in general about people who do this, not you specifically!!!!

Well, your entitled to think my opinion is nonsense, I personally think that your assertion that people who approach fat people has nothing to do with bolstering their own esteem or ego is bull roar. We'll have to agree to disagree!

Regardless of whether one considers it natural or not, imo still wrong. If you want try and normalise this behaviour that's your prerogative.

It's hard to know to whom one is speaking when no one is quoted. That said, you did say that the DESIRE to approach someone is wrong which is bizarre to me. I totally agree with you that actually acting on that desire is wrong, even if I don't agree that it's motivated by ego/self esteem.

I think some people are genuinely trying to help, not realizing how detrimental their actions might be.

It seems that you have desire to act and actual ACTION confused.

Nope, I haven't. I articulated that both the desire and the action is wrong.

We're just gonna have to agree to disagree on the motivations behind it.

May seem bizarre to you, seems pretty straightforward to me. As i said, we'll have agree to disagree

Thank goodness you have no way to read my mind, nor could you ever speak to my intentions.