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how do you answer the questions from people who don't know you had wls?



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I am 4 days post-op and anticipating the questions that will arise when I return to real life. I told very few people that I was having wls and I know that a few weeks or months out, people will start noticing the weight loss and asking about it. I have also wondered how I can eat around my coworkers and friends without them noticing my drastically altered eating habits. I am curious how others have handled it. Right now I feel like I don't want to share this with many people, but I also think it will be difficult to keep private in the long term.

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Don't tell unless you want to. My coworkers noticed but I was honestly working on my weight even before considering surgery and lost 20lbs post so far.

When they ask me if I lost weight I simply reply, "Yes." and surprisingly they don't ask anything further. They just say, "You look good."

I'm a very private person. I didn't even realize how private until people started getting shocked about learning about me on the job. (I've been at my job for almost 10 years) I have just never really opened up.

My thought behind it is once I tell, I can't even untell.

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I was always on a diet...LOL they all know i was type 2 diabetes.. and wanted to get my A1C down.

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No one has asked. I have gained and lost weight so many times since I've been working at my job that I think everyone is just used to my constant fluctuations. By the time they realize I'm not re-gaining this time around, they will probably be too ashamed to ask, having not commented or complimented me as I was losing.

As for eating around coworkers, I still participate in office parties and whatnot, I just only eat high Protein options and not very much. If anyone asked, I would just tell them I'm doing high-protein/low-carb and leave it at that.

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I have had these same concerns! I have not had surgery yet, so I've decided not to tell my friends until I know for sure everything will work out. My closest friends are going to be difficult NOT to tell because they are so nosey!! and I'm so bad at lying!! Therefore, I have decided to tell my closest friends because of that and I expect they will be good support for me. Other acquaintances, however, I think I'm just going to say that I'm on high Protein and low carbs to better control my type 2 Diabetes. I just can't wait for a thinner life!! I'm so proud and happy for those of you who have already done it!! I'm a little afraid of some of the possible complications; hair loss, heartburn, diarrhea, Constipation, and not being able to get in enough Protein and/or Water. I've read SO much about all these complications!! I'm planning to stay positive though and get through this and enjoy life again!!

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I was so wrapped up in myself the first couple months (you really have to be) that I used to fret about what friends and clients would notice what I was or was not eating at lunches and other public functions. The truth was, nobody cared or even noticed. I don't think about it at all anymore.

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I have never had an issue with telling anyone. If the subject comes up I just tell them what I did. I even had the opportunity to tell a lady that was thinking about the Sleeve what a great decision I had made. She was very large & I hope she goes on to do the Sleeve for health reasons.

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I work in an ER and it's hard to get away from the department to eat. So, most of us scarf food down in the control area in between seeing patients. It's made for a lot of unhealthy habits. When I started the preop diet and started sipping broth at the desk I got a lot of WTF? A few people knew going in. If people asked, I was honest about my plans for surgery and actually ended up with a huge support group and people rooting for me in my corner. I go back to work next Monday. I feel good about it because I've had quite a few people call and text me while I've been off! You just have to figure out what works for you.

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Thanks everyone for your thoughts. I have spent so much of my life worrying about what other people think that the biggest challenge of this surgery may be learning to take care of myself and not worry about others. I'm a very private person as well and I have to give myself permission to put my needs before others' curiosity.

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I lost 60 pounds PreOp and received lots of questions about what I was doing to lose the weight. I would always answer that I follow a high protein/low carb diet with consistent exercise. After I had the sleeve done (and no one at my work knows), my coworkers just say comments like, "Wow, your lifestyle changes are really working" or they've begun asking me again about what I am doing. And I give them the same response as before.

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I was very honest with people and received a lot of support. And to the few who made a comment about " why can't you just diet & exercise" - you don't want to know what my response was

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I was very honest with people and received a lot of support. And to the few who made a comment about " why can't you just diet & exercise" - you don't want to know what my response was

Oh yes, we do! Tell us~!

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I have not kept my surgery a secret. I find no reason to at my age 54. I did this for me and no one else. If they have something negative to say about me or my decision to have the surgery that is their problem. I am open and share the good and bad thing for those around me that are considering having the surgery. I do have lots of positive support at work and at home which does help me stay on track.

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    • Alisa_S

      On day 4 of the 2 week liquid pre-op diet. Surgery scheduled for June 11th.
      Soooo I am coming to a realization
      of something and I'm not sure what to do about it. For years the only thing I've enjoyed is eating. We rarely do anything or go anywhere and if we do it always includes food. Family comes over? Big family dinner! Go camping? Food! Take a short ride or trip? Food! Holiday? Food! Go out of town for a Dr appointment? Food! When we go to a new town we don't look for any attractions, we look for restaurants we haven't been to. Heck, I look forward to getting off work because that means it's almost supper time. Now that I'm drinking these pre-op shakes for breakfast, lunch, and supper I have nothing to look forward to.  And once I have surgery on June 11th it'll be more of the same shakes. Even after pureed stage, soft food stage, and finally regular food stage, it's going to be a drastic change for the rest of my life. I'm giving up the one thing that really brings me joy. Eating. How do you cope with that? What do you do to fill that void? Wow. Now I'm sad.
      · 1 reply
      1. LeighaTR

        I hope your surgery on Wednesday goes well. You will be able to do all sorts of new things as you find your new normal after surgery. I don't know this from experience yet, but I am seeing a lot of positive things from people who have had it done. Best of luck!

    • Alisa_S

      On day 4 of the 2 week liquid pre-op diet. Surgery scheduled for June 11th.
      Soooo I am coming to a realization
      of something and I'm not sure what to do about it. For years the only thing I've enjoyed is eating. We rarely do anything or go anywhere and if we do it always includes food. Family comes over? Big family dinner! Go camping? Food! Take a short ride or trip? Food! Holiday? Food! Go out of town for a Dr appointment? Food! When we go to a new town we don't look for any attractions, we look for restaurants we haven't been to. Heck, I look forward to getting off work because that means it's almost supper time. Now that I'm drinking these pre-op shakes for breakfast, lunch, and supper I have nothing to look forward to.  And once I have surgery on June 11th it'll be more of the same shakes. Even after pureed stage, soft food stage, and finally regular food stage, it's going to be a drastic change for the rest of my life. I'm giving up the one thing that really brings me joy. Eating. How do you cope with that? What do you do to fill that void? Wow. Now I'm sad.
      · 1 reply
      1. summerseeker

        Life as a big person had limited my life to what I knew I could manage to do each day. That was eat. I hadn't anything else to look forward to. So my eating choices were the best I could dream up. I planned the cooking in managable lots in my head and filled my day with and around it.

        Now I have a whole new big, bigger, biggest, best days ever. I am out there with those skinny people doing stuff i could never have dreamt of. Food is now an after thought. It doesn't consume my day. I still enjoy the good home cooked food but I eat smaller portions. I leave food on my plate when I am full. I can no longer hear my mother's voice saying eat it all up, ther are starving children in Africa who would want that!

        I still cook for family feasts, I love cooking. I still do holidays but I have changed from the All inclusive drinking and eating everything everyday kind to Self catering accommodation. This gives me the choice of cooking or eating out as I choose. I rarely drink anymore as I usually travel alone now and I feel I need to keep aware of my surroundings.

        I don't know at what point my life expanded, was it when I lost 100 pounds? Was it when I left my walking stick at home ? Was it when I said yes to an outing instead of finding an excuse to stay home ? i look back at my last five years and wonder how loosing weight has made such a difference. Be ready to amaze yourself.

        BTW, the liquid diet sucks, one more day and you are over the worst. You can do it.

    • CaseyP1011

      Officially here for a long time, not just a good time💪
      · 0 replies
      1. This update has no replies.
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