Having my doubts

[RobinL123 7]

Hi Folks,

I posted at this site originally in late October (at the beginning of my 6 month waiting period for insurance purposes). As I'm going through all the major hoops I have to jump through to get this surgery, I'm starting to have serious reservations. I spoke to my NUT yesterday and confessed that I quit smoking for 3 months then at the end of December beginning of January I started slowly again. I'm on the patch again today and know this will be a battle for me. I can't even be on the patch a month or 2 prior to surgery.

My other problem was that I gained 4 pounds in those 3 months I quit smoking and it's my impression that my team of experts expect me to behave as if I'm having the surgery next month. I'm not. According to them I should be eating several small meals a day. I work Sooooo much and have Sooooo many doctor appointments, I'm exhausted already. And don't have the time to focus on food continuously I could lie and tell them everything they want to hear, I get the impression they feel as if their doing you a favor by being ball busting big brothers. I feel my life is invaded by this team. I told the nutritionist that I might not be ready for surgery come Spring, I might need a few more months to get my mind wrapped around this and focused on living a completely different life.

Finally and most importantly once this is done, there's no turning back. I have stomach problems as it is, IBS, had Diverticulitus and had it surgically removed. If I fall into the 10% that has complications.....I'll hate myself forever for doing this to myself. I weigh 230 lbs and if I lose 100 lbs I'll probably look like a cancer patient. How does one prevent too much weight loss?

I'm struggling with this...any input would be appreciated.

With a 6 month prep period, when did you all start taking it serious and strictly change your habits?

Thanks

Robin

[aelovelady 243]

Hi! To be honest, it sounds more like you don't want to have the surgery than like you are having doubts. I would recommend you stop perusing the surgery option until you are at a point in your life where it will work for you. Good luck and thank you for your honesty!

[HealthArtLove 13]

Honestly, I which I had tried following the post op diet before going through with the surgery. Give it a try and you can decide if this option is right for you.

[wildGoose 207]

Robin: Only you can know if it is time. But Im going to tell you my own story. In January, 2014 I was in a really good place. I was eating well, too much, but well. I was happy and excited about the surgery. I was passing all the tests. I was headed for a May surgery date. Then, at age 60, I started bleeding. I had uterine cancer and I had to have a hysterectomy and resolve the cancer before I could resume my journey toward my RNY. Then my bariatric surgeon said I had to have a colonoscopy before he'd operate. I had a long wait for that test, so I went to Cape Cod for what I now call my "Farewell to food (month long) Tour. I gained 20 pounds on that vacation. When I got back, I had the colonoscopy and returned to my surgeon. Immediately, they put me on a Protein shake diet and scheduled my surgery for five weeks later. At that point, I really had to decide. I have Type 2 Diabetes, sleep Apnea, High Blood Pressure, etc. Before I went to the surgeon in the beginning, I had decided I wanted to stay alive. At the assignment of the liquid diet for rapid weight loss, I decided I would rather live than die. Those were my choices. Yes or no. I chose yes, started drinking Protein shakes, and several weeks later, I had my surgery. That was October 28. Twelve weeks ago today. I've lost 62 pounds, I'm about half way to my goal. With the exception of about 5 minutes in the beginning when I realized in a big way that I could not eat a real meal, I have not looked backwards, As soon as I lost the first 20 pounds I got it. Pick up a 20-pound bag of groceries. Go to the gym and pick up a 40- or 60 pound weight. Think about how heavy that is. It is such a relief to leave that behind. If I don't lose one more pound (which I will), I will wake up happy that I am 62 pounds lighter. All of my co-morbidities are either gone or better. My A1C is 4.2! I don't have to lean on my grocery cart to make it around the store. I'm pretty sure food was the best friend of most or all of the people reading these forums. Everybody has a story. My story today is that I have diabetic retinopathy, and I have to have surgery or go blind. I had to make a choice - yes or no. It doesn't work being an artist who can't see. So, once again, I choose yes.

At the beginning of my journey, I read an article in the New York Times that said only half of the people who go to an introductory seminar about weight loss surgery actually make it to the OR. Right then I decided I wanted a life. You are no better or worse off than anyone here. Just like the rest of us, it is yes or no. With MORBID obesity, that translates to LIVE or DIE. You still have a choice. I hope you chose YES. GOOD LUCK to you. And God Bless.

[catdaddy 232]

Hi Robin, I decided 7 months out from when I wanted the surgery and then everything I did after that was going to that goal. I quiet smoking at month one, and started every step my insurance needed me to do to get the surgery. I remember fondly, going out to different places to eat foods I expected to never to eat again. And I remember the last drink of alcohol I had at my parents house.

That said, if you're not ready for this procedure then don't, it's ok? Only you can decide that and no one here will look at you different. I think your 10% complications is a little high by even so for some of us it's a worthy risk. As for getting to skinny, it's rare but it does happen. It's not something to stress about.

Best of luck to you and please keep us in mind what ever you do.

[Debbie Jean 406]

OP, I don't see any reasons in your post that indicate why you want the surgery and many many reasons why you don't. It doesn't read like you have doubts. It reads like you don't want it but for some reason can't just say that. This is elective surgery so you certainly don't have to have it. It your choice.

Maybe some time in the future you will decide you are ready to utilize the surgery route. Maybe not. Either way it's all good.

I was 62 with HBP, diabetes, sleep apnea, etc before I decided to move forward with surgery. 1 month out 29 lbs down from where I started and feel great. Only wish I did it when I was younger. But I did quit smoking 20 years ago. That's something you should work on even if you don't have surgery????

Good luck either way!

[bellabloom 2,469]

Okay. First of all I think what you are having to go through is a bunch of dog crap. No one should have to wait 6 months for this surgery. You obviously cannot do well on a diet or you wouldn't be obese!!! So what, that figure your going to be able to do well now? What crap I am so sorry you have the waiting period.

If it was me- and this is just me! I would stuff my bra with weights on the first weight in and take one out every time. Because I don't think it's right to withhold a life saving surgery from someone because they can't go on a diet- which is why they need it in the first place. This surgery is amazing and you Should do whatever it takes to make it happen.

Try and do well most of the time when you can. Read the book intuitive eating. It will help you find a good steady flow on maintaining your weight so you don't gain. Make some food choices but don't fall into deprivation or you will binge and gain weight. Wait the 6 months. Try and incorporate some healthy habits and try to get on track with your smoking.

It's hard to quit coping mechanisms and it's hard to make life changes but you can do it. Smoking needs to go because it will destroy your Health and it won't work after surgery. But give yourself a break okay. You are making progress and sometimes you have to take a step back and try again.

As far as trying to lose a bunch of weight before surgery- if my doctor had requires that I would have looked elsewhere. Seriously. If you could lose weight so easily why in the heck would you do this!! My doctor did not require a weight loss test. I had to meet with him and fast the day before and that was it.

He is smart enough to realize that we can't loose weight. Duh.

Why put us through more mental and emotional torture??? You should not do that to yourself. Find a new doctor and ask them what their requirements are up front. If they require weightloss pass!!! Especially if you don't think you can do it.

Some people can and good for them. For me I was so good and carb addicted it would have sent me into a binge for sure which leads to emotional upset and feelings of failure and self worth. I said no more. Obesity is a disease and your struggling with it. Be kind to yourself.

Now that I have had bypass all of my food cravings and need for sugar have vanished. Food is wonderful but I don't need it to be happy and it doesn't run my life. This surgery gave me my life back and you need to go for it.

You will not regret it I promise. Do whatever you need to do for YOUR best interest.

[SugarFreeMe 293]

I haven't even read your whole post, but by the first two paragraphs my comment is this.

Your not there yet - if you're already making excuses for why you can't do this, you're not ready. Surgery is only a tool, you have to be in the right place in your head - Don't do it yet.

If you think in the future you may want it, talk with someone, but this isn't something you can only be a little committed to, it's all or nothing.

[SuzeMuze 338]

Am I allowed to "ditto" what everyone else said? I do agree, though. And I understand how the surgical team could seem invading at times- but that's what they're there for. They're the professionals and truly have your best interests at heart. It is hard to wrap your head around the life-long changes you have to commit to if you decide to have bariatric surgery- I'm 3 months out and I still grapple with food choices vs. wants vs. head-hunger, etc. But that same surgical team that can seem so invasive are the best ones to help you stay on track. If you aren't 100% sure you're ready for a complete (but awesome once you get used to it, imo) life change, bariatric surgery won't be the tool it's meant to be for you.

[esskay77 785]

I was told, and believe, that the sooner you make the changes and follow the plan and get on board, the more lilkely you are to be successful long term.

Some people who start following the plan right away and start losing right away, eventually decide to not have the surgery because they now know how to lose weight. Of course, it is not a temporary diet, it is a lifestyle change. If you go back to the way you have been now, you will gain the weight back, either with any of these diets or even with the surgery. The surgery is just a tool that can give you a jump start--it is not a cure and you CAN put all your weight back on and then some if you don't follow the plan. Luckily, the surgery can make it easier to follow the plan.

But, you need to decide what you want. Do you want to lose weight? Do you want a better quality of life? if you do, then start following the plan now. Who cares if you lose the weight from surgery or from following this plan or both? If the weight comes off, then awesome!! Of course, having said that, I also completely understand how difficult it is to follow the plan. The one awesome thing about the surgery is that it can take away that hunger hormone which is a little devil!! lol

Whatever you decide, do it because you want to do it and then go full steam ahead!