I feel like a broken record complaining. So, here goes. I had RNY on 12/18/14. I have only lost 13.2 pounds in three weeks. I get either right close to 60 grams of Protein a day or a little over it. My calories is 400-600. Generally in the low 500s a day for calories.

I am sad and frustrated. I see others (I know we aren't suppose to compare...but it is so hard not to) who have lost 25-30 pounds or more in the same time frame.

Right now I am 5 ft 4 and 212 even....

Is this normal? What am I doing wrong? I am freezing and irritable most of the time.

One of the easiest things to say, but hardest to do is not compare ourselves to others who had bariatric surgery at the same time we did. I'm about 9 weeks post op myself, and have come to terms with the following, which hopefully may help you:

1. Everyone loses weight differently. To hold someone else's success as our standard is dooming yourself to failure...frustration...and a higher level of recidivism back to your old eating habits.

2. From my own conversations with my surgeon/NUT...folks also lose weight relatively in proportion to how overweight they were to begin with. I was 242 pounds at 5'6"...and yet I was told I "wasn't that big". I'd love to lose weight faster too, but every person I've talked to has said the heavier you initially are, the faster the weight will initially come off. I believe it.

3. Take a good, close look at your diet. Find out your surgeon's recommendations for Protein, carbs, fat and total calories. I thought I was doing well enough until my first post op NUT visit where I found out I was expected to have only 30-50 grams of carbs a day. (increasing at about a year post-op) As someone who doesn't care for meat or dairy products, it's not leaving me with many choices. Add to that the disappointing discovery that my Vitamins (which we'll be taking for the rest of our lives) total 15 grams of carbs a day, it's really hard some days to keep my ingested carbs next to nothing.

4. Exercise is a horrible/beautiful thing. The hardest part is actually getting my butt up and getting started. I'm miserable and complaining in my head for a good 20 minutes on the treadmill, resenting every average weight yet lazy person I can think of But once you cross that "hump", walking can become addictive, especially if you use a step tracker or something like a FitBit or Jawbone. There are a number of step counter free apps for Smartphones out there, and before I got my FitBit, I used one to set daily goals for myself. I actually feel guilty and angry/determined if it gets to be dinner time and I haven't met my goal. Seeing those numbers turn green with a smiley face is very motivating to me. (As are a really good pair of walking shoes). Long story short, exercise will help with weight loss... seriously.

5. Your body has just gone through major surgery about 3 weeks ago- be gentle with it You'll still be healing for weeks yet, as your body tries to figure out what you just did and start letting go of the extra pounds instead of clicking into "starvation mode".

6. You've lost 13 pounds?? That's fantastic! That's 13 pounds less to carry around, and maybe 13 pounds more than you'd have lost trying another unsuccessful diet.

I'd be a big old hypocrite if I said I never compared myself to other folks who also had surgery in October. But I don't know their stories, just my own. I'll get there when I'm destined to get there. And I'll be thrilled

Thank you! This really calmed my nerves about this whole thing. I will look at my carbs. I don't think I am ingesting many. I'm on my fitness pal and review my food journal.

@@SuzeMuze I 'm so glad I came across your response. I really needed to read it today. I, too, have been a little down in the dumps about my weight loss progression so far. I am a little over 6 weeks post op and have lost about 30 pounds since surgery. Reading the posts of others who had surgery around the same time, who've lost more, can make you think that you're doing something wrong. I'm slowly learning to accept my journey as my very own. Thanks for the advice!!

@@Annek2014

@@1NaturalLoser

BIG HUGS to you both! I'm glad my words were of help to you! I always try to keep it clear that my experiences are just that... mine. I'll go out on a limb here and say that I bet every single one of us has had something happen (or not happen) that made us scared, depressed, or feel like giving up. I had that happen myself this week with a single bite of a birthday cake- no icing, just an itty bitty part of the pointy end in the middle. Know what happened? Nothing. I tried it because of a weird curiosity of what dumping felt like. I had to stop right there cause that same curiosity would drive me to wonder what would happen if I had a second bite? A third? Even I'm not that curious!

We've all taken a huge step toward a better, healthier life and deserve to be applauded at every stage! Even though I, too, am not losing weight as fast as I'd like, I do my best to remind myself I didn't gain all this weight in 2.5 months... I certainly can't lose it all that quickly! Keep your chin up, and always feel free to message me personally if you need a pep talk

This was soooo wonderful! Thank you

I love what @@SuzeMuze has said here! So much truth. But I will add a little something I realized: I suspect that when we compare ourselves to others, we pick and choose whom we compare ourselves to. And guess who we choose - those who are more successful than we are and so we feel like we have failed in comparison. Do we notice how many posts there are daily from people discouraged with slow losses and compare ourselves with them and think "Wow, I lost a little more than they did, so I should feel great about myself! I am doing well"? No - we seem to only take note of the ones who lost a lot more and think "Oh, wow, I should have lost that much too. I am such a failure at this and something must be really, really wrong with me!".

I suspect if there was one big poll that accumulated all the weekly losses from each person here and somehow adjusted it by how many weeks out they were, how much they had to lose, how much they exercised, as well as other factors such as age, sex, etc and plotted that all on a bell curve - the majority of us would fall smack dab there in the middle somewhere! There will be a small handful who lose far faster than the rest and a handful who lose far slower - but for the most part, I am willing to bet that the vast majority of us are well within that NORMAL range.

(BTW - @@Annek2014 - I checked my weight chart and I had lost 15 lbs after 3 weeks. My weight the day of surgery was 280 - so if you must compare, you are doing awesome!)

When I had my surgery I was slow to the draw. I also had complications. But I stayed at the same weight for almost a month!!! During that time I was eating nothing. No shakes either. My body was rejecting everything. So how could I not eat for 4 wks and survive and not lose weight? Iv fluids first of all and second my body was in starvation mode. Eventually I lost weight about 6-10 lbs a week depending on my participation in exercise. Now almost a year later I am down 129 lbs. You will get there! Each journey is different.

Thank you all! I was pretty down when I posted this. Your feedback, has helped put things back in perspective for me.

My husband made a great point yesterday. That I thought his surgery was going to be a slam dunk and easy peasy. Well it isn't. It is still going to take time and effort on my part in order to succeed.

I was extremely frustrated with my weight loss too - then I realized that for me, it would be a stair step process - stall, then lose a couple of pounds, then stall again. The first month after surgery I only lost 18 lbs, and I remember seeing people on here losing upwards of 30 and 40lbs and was grumpy that wasn't me. My longest stall lasted 6 weeks, and I thought then I was done losing weight completely. However, I finally broke that stall two weeks ago and have lost 6lbs since then. Just keep with the program and you will lose - today I thought for the first time that I might actually meet MY personal goal. That was HUGE for me!! Stick with it - you can do this!!

Update -

I finally made onederland today! I am losing, but very slowly. I have decided to quit complaning since the scale is moving downward.

SuzeMuze, I am so thankful for coming across your response to her post. Just yesterday I was told by my doctor that I'm not losing as much as I should, he suggested I increase my water intake, which I have been struggling with. Thank you for the advice.

In my first month of RNY (10/24/16) I lost 17 pounds. I thought I'd lose more but I was doing everything right and kept doing me. I'm down 60 pounds now and still counting. Hang in there you are doing great.

Give yourself a break and do your best. It will happen. Good luck.

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