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Worst "compliment" you have gotten since surgery



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I got one today. My good friend is stunning was/is a dancer has had 3 boob jobs two nose jobs and two Brazilian butt lifts. She's in her mid 20s and has a perfect six pack LOL. She said. "Wow your already loosing boobage. We may get a deal if we both go in for work at the same time."

Umm thanks... Umm I think.????????

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So my most recent one "wow you lost that much already? Now you don't have to wear pull on pants."

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The best for me was " wow you look great, were you always this short?"

Ha ha! I would like to give a glib answer to that one except I actually DID get shorter! Doc said some people do bc we lose padding from the feet and literally become shorter. I am down 135lbs and a whole inch!

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We've been friends for 17 years. I would hope this wouldn't end our friendship, but I really didn't appreciate her snarky comments.

I am really sorry. That is sad. You deserve a friend who is happy for you no matter if she decides to do the surgery or not. I am very lucky, my best friend of 15 years got the surgery last March and she is the one that inspired me to do it. I watched her hard work pay off and yes at times, I was totally jealous of her weight loss I was also so happy and proud of her. I really hope your friend gets out of her own way and helps support you.

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I got one today. My good friend is stunning was/is a dancer has had 3 boob jobs two nose jobs and two Brazilian butt lifts. She's in her mid 20s and has a perfect six pack LOL. She said. "Wow your already loosing boobage. We may get a deal if we both go in for work at the same time."

Umm thanks... Umm I think.????????

I've had the "two for one" comment from a friend's mom who's had a facelift and is looking at a boob job. I told her if she paid both halves I'm all in!

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I am really sorry. That is sad. You deserve a friend who is happy for you no matter if she decides to do the surgery or not. I am very lucky, my best friend of 15 years got the surgery last March and she is the one that inspired me to do it. I watched her hard work pay off and yes at times, I was totally jealous of her weight loss I was also so happy and proud of her. I really hope your friend gets out of her own way and helps support you.

Ditto. My college "fat friend" got a lap band several years ago. Of course I was envious of her weight loss, but I was also happy for her. In the end, she was part of my inspiration to get WLS. I've now lost way more weight than her (she has serious self sabotage issues and is very good at cheating her band) and although she mostly has encouraging words for me, There have been some comments that reveal that she is jealous. I don't take these comments personally because I know they stem from her disappointment in herself. I make it a point not to make my success a focal point of conversations. I simply encourage and support her and hope she will some day overcome her struggles.

@@Big Mama I hope your friend can overcome her insecurities and become the friend you deserve. In the meantime, invite her to join you in your postop diet plan to jumpstart her weightloss and maybe even set up a workout routine you can both participate in.

Edited by Kindle

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"You have lost a TON of weight" always with heavy emphasis on the word TON and quickly followed up with, "so how much have you lost?" I feel like I'm letting them down that rather than having lost 1,000 pounds, it only 100.

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"You have lost a TON of weight" always with heavy emphasis on the word TON and quickly followed up with, "so how much have you lost?" I feel like I'm letting them down that rather than having lost 1,000 pounds, it only 100.

Love this one. I usually answer with, "Well, actually TWO tons, I hid my weight ell, don't you think?" or, "Well, actually only a HALF ton, I must have looked much larger than I was to you."

Ha!

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First off, I truly believe that real friends tell you what you need to hear, not what you want to hear. Having said that, REAL friends are not going to tell you what you need to hear in an insulting or derogatory manner. Telling me something I need to hear by insulting me, degrading me, or putting me down about it, does not in my mind qualify you to be a friend! Not to mention, if you come at me like that, you are more than likely to get your feelings hurt by my response.

Now as for the direct comment... I challenge anyone to give me an instance where using the word "fat" is pleasant, positive or complimentary.

Go ahead... I'll wait!

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@@LipstickLady see that's why I love you, because you got jokes!

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You know, so many, maybe ALL, of these comments stem from the same thing: people feeling they have the right to make comments about other people's bodies. ESPECIALLY fat people's. Well, f-- that. I personally tell my children that it's never appropriate to make comments, even "compliments" that involve people's bodies. I don't comment on the weight loss of even close friends unless they bring it up--I say things like, "You look great! How are you feeling?" (Which leaves it up to them how to respond!) People's bodies are off-limits to comments.

Beyond that, I teach my kids that fat isn't an appropriate thing to call someone or a way to describe someone, because people's bodies are private and off-limits. But I let them know that I think I'm beautiful NOW! Just this morning, my daughter (4) made a comment about my "fat tummy" and I said, "Yes! My beautiful, fat tummy! Do you want to snuggle against my warm fat tummy?"

Own it all. End the cycle of shame. Put the haters in their place(s).

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I guess my favorite comment was, "You've lost a crap-ton of weight, haven't you?!" LOL!!!

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I guess my favorite comment was, "You've lost a crap-ton of weight, haven't you?!" LOL!!!

Is "crap-ton" a metric or imperial unit of measure? :lol:

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    • Alisa_S

      On day 4 of the 2 week liquid pre-op diet. Surgery scheduled for June 11th.
      Soooo I am coming to a realization
      of something and I'm not sure what to do about it. For years the only thing I've enjoyed is eating. We rarely do anything or go anywhere and if we do it always includes food. Family comes over? Big family dinner! Go camping? Food! Take a short ride or trip? Food! Holiday? Food! Go out of town for a Dr appointment? Food! When we go to a new town we don't look for any attractions, we look for restaurants we haven't been to. Heck, I look forward to getting off work because that means it's almost supper time. Now that I'm drinking these pre-op shakes for breakfast, lunch, and supper I have nothing to look forward to.  And once I have surgery on June 11th it'll be more of the same shakes. Even after pureed stage, soft food stage, and finally regular food stage, it's going to be a drastic change for the rest of my life. I'm giving up the one thing that really brings me joy. Eating. How do you cope with that? What do you do to fill that void? Wow. Now I'm sad.
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    • Alisa_S

      On day 4 of the 2 week liquid pre-op diet. Surgery scheduled for June 11th.
      Soooo I am coming to a realization
      of something and I'm not sure what to do about it. For years the only thing I've enjoyed is eating. We rarely do anything or go anywhere and if we do it always includes food. Family comes over? Big family dinner! Go camping? Food! Take a short ride or trip? Food! Holiday? Food! Go out of town for a Dr appointment? Food! When we go to a new town we don't look for any attractions, we look for restaurants we haven't been to. Heck, I look forward to getting off work because that means it's almost supper time. Now that I'm drinking these pre-op shakes for breakfast, lunch, and supper I have nothing to look forward to.  And once I have surgery on June 11th it'll be more of the same shakes. Even after pureed stage, soft food stage, and finally regular food stage, it's going to be a drastic change for the rest of my life. I'm giving up the one thing that really brings me joy. Eating. How do you cope with that? What do you do to fill that void? Wow. Now I'm sad.
      · 1 reply
      1. summerseeker

        Life as a big person had limited my life to what I knew I could manage to do each day. That was eat. I hadn't anything else to look forward to. So my eating choices were the best I could dream up. I planned the cooking in managable lots in my head and filled my day with and around it.

        Now I have a whole new big, bigger, biggest, best days ever. I am out there with those skinny people doing stuff i could never have dreamt of. Food is now an after thought. It doesn't consume my day. I still enjoy the good home cooked food but I eat smaller portions. I leave food on my plate when I am full. I can no longer hear my mother's voice saying eat it all up, ther are starving children in Africa who would want that!

        I still cook for family feasts, I love cooking. I still do holidays but I have changed from the All inclusive drinking and eating everything everyday kind to Self catering accommodation. This gives me the choice of cooking or eating out as I choose. I rarely drink anymore as I usually travel alone now and I feel I need to keep aware of my surroundings.

        I don't know at what point my life expanded, was it when I lost 100 pounds? Was it when I left my walking stick at home ? Was it when I said yes to an outing instead of finding an excuse to stay home ? i look back at my last five years and wonder how loosing weight has made such a difference. Be ready to amaze yourself.

        BTW, the liquid diet sucks, one more day and you are over the worst. You can do it.

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