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Worst "compliment" you have gotten since surgery



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^^^ What a b***h!

Just wait ... there's gonna be a reckoning. LOL!

Edited by VSGAnn2014

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I would be like aww you were ugly and you still are but I guess not everyone changes.

This is strictly because I don't like people and people have made me that way :-)

I am happy and always welcoming of new friends, but I will burn an aszhole.

Edited by CharlotteWebb

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I just got sleeved Monday, so no weight loss yet. My best friend and I had discussed the surgery before-hand, as we both wanted to get sleeved. Her insurance requires 3 months with a dietician, mine didn't, so needles to say I got mine first. After I came home from the hospital, she called to bs about other things then finally said "oh didn't you have surgery? How are you feeling? " as I was telling her she interrupted and said, "yeah, I don't think I'm doing it, I can lose the weight on my own, I don't want to cheat my way to weightloss!" What a sucker punch to the gut! I only said to her you do what you please, and continued the conversation... smh

Oh....in about 6-9 months, this is gonna be SOOO worth it. I can't wait for the update.

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Yesterday she was eating and was like "oh I know you'd die for some of this pernil right now!" I said "nope, I'm not even hungry anymore! Haven't craved a thing since Monday," as she sat there eating 2 huge plates of food and downing it with soda. It was actually a bit disgusting to watch!

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@@Big_Mama - Sorry you experienced that, Nice to see you handed it with class. It sounds like your friends fears got the better of her and she chickened out. Her insult sounds like fear talking. Her loss, not yours.

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Yesterday she was eating and was like "oh I know you'd die for some of this pernil right now!" I said "nope, I'm not even hungry anymore! Haven't craved a thing since Monday," as she sat there eating 2 huge plates of food and downing it with soda. It was actually a bit disgusting to watch!

But hey! At least she's not cheating her way to a healthy weight. ;). :D

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@@Big_Mama - Jeez! It's not like you won't be able to ever eat pork again. It's just that when you do, you'll eat a sensible portion and be completely satisfied with it.

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You know!!! As I mentioned, I haven't been hungry, but I soooo miss chewing! Lol I think it's a mental thing right now!

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I just got sleeved Monday, so no weight loss yet. My best friend and I had discussed the surgery before-hand, as we both wanted to get sleeved. Her insurance requires 3 months with a dietician, mine didn't, so needles to say I got mine first. After I came home from the hospital, she called to bs about other things then finally said "oh didn't you have surgery? How are you feeling? " as I was telling her she interrupted and said, "yeah, I don't think I'm doing it, I can lose the weight on my own, I don't want to cheat my way to weightloss!" What a sucker punch to the gut! I only said to her you do what you please, and continued the conversation... smh

YOU know, that she's still in denial, YOU know that she is more likely to fail than to succeed. I guess your freindship between one another is really being tested, YOU are not going to keep people who don't support you in your life. Is your freindship important to her? As you move forward in your journey she will either let you go or try to keep up. The choice is hers, you have already decided where you want to go.

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You know what Big Mama, the easiest way to cheat is by doing it yourself. This is the problem with jenny Craig, Weight Watchers, Atkins, whatever. People do lose weight but they also gain it back and can cheat because they have nothing stopping them from overeating when they get full. You have the upper hand because you have taken the step to do something, your friend hasn't . And you'll see where she winds up because of it too.

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We've been friends for 17 years. I would hope this wouldn't end our friendship, but I really didn't appreciate her snarky comments.

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We've been friends for 17 years. I would hope this wouldn't end our friendship, but I really didn't appreciate her snarky comments.

It won't if YOU don't let it. She is most likely going to be quite bitchy, as evidenced by her comments, but that will fade. She will get used to the idea that you had the surgery and she didn't and she will get past the jealousy of your new body during her struggles.

Love her, encourage her, and go about business as usual to the best of your ability. If she gets too much to bear, then it's time to cut her loose. I think you can save it if you work hard not to be offended by her.

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The scenario where a member of the opposite sex notices me for the first time since I've lost weight...that presents a dilemma in my mind.

In a perfect, blind world, people would fall in love with others based solely on personality and other virtues. But, in reality, appearance matters. Whether in the dating world or career world. Can you really blame the other person for not being attracted to the "fatter" you? It really isn't fair. Do you ever go to a bar or night club, pick out a particularly unattractive person, and think "wow they must have a great personality?" No. By nature, your eyes move towards what ever is considered attractive by society.

I'm not saying that people that are overweight are less worthy, but are at an automatic disadvantage. Sometimes an insurmountable disadvantage. We are genetically hardwired to be attracted to health and vitality...survival of the species and all. Even overweight, would you stop and goggle at an obvious drug addict? What is the difference between refusing to date a smoker, and refusing to date someone that is "fat?" You find yourself more attractive with weight loss, why take the new attention as an insult? It is recognition for a job well done!

I haven't been faced with this scenario, so I don't know how I would react...and I have a tendency to play devil's advocate. I think I'm prettier now, and quite frankly a better more vivacious person now, and I don't feel insulted when others corroborate that. You can argue semantics, just remember some people have good intentions but little tact.

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The best for me was " wow you look great, where you always this short?"

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The best for me was " wow you look great, were you always this short?"

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    • Alisa_S

      On day 4 of the 2 week liquid pre-op diet. Surgery scheduled for June 11th.
      Soooo I am coming to a realization
      of something and I'm not sure what to do about it. For years the only thing I've enjoyed is eating. We rarely do anything or go anywhere and if we do it always includes food. Family comes over? Big family dinner! Go camping? Food! Take a short ride or trip? Food! Holiday? Food! Go out of town for a Dr appointment? Food! When we go to a new town we don't look for any attractions, we look for restaurants we haven't been to. Heck, I look forward to getting off work because that means it's almost supper time. Now that I'm drinking these pre-op shakes for breakfast, lunch, and supper I have nothing to look forward to.  And once I have surgery on June 11th it'll be more of the same shakes. Even after pureed stage, soft food stage, and finally regular food stage, it's going to be a drastic change for the rest of my life. I'm giving up the one thing that really brings me joy. Eating. How do you cope with that? What do you do to fill that void? Wow. Now I'm sad.
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    • Alisa_S

      On day 4 of the 2 week liquid pre-op diet. Surgery scheduled for June 11th.
      Soooo I am coming to a realization
      of something and I'm not sure what to do about it. For years the only thing I've enjoyed is eating. We rarely do anything or go anywhere and if we do it always includes food. Family comes over? Big family dinner! Go camping? Food! Take a short ride or trip? Food! Holiday? Food! Go out of town for a Dr appointment? Food! When we go to a new town we don't look for any attractions, we look for restaurants we haven't been to. Heck, I look forward to getting off work because that means it's almost supper time. Now that I'm drinking these pre-op shakes for breakfast, lunch, and supper I have nothing to look forward to.  And once I have surgery on June 11th it'll be more of the same shakes. Even after pureed stage, soft food stage, and finally regular food stage, it's going to be a drastic change for the rest of my life. I'm giving up the one thing that really brings me joy. Eating. How do you cope with that? What do you do to fill that void? Wow. Now I'm sad.
      · 1 reply
      1. summerseeker

        Life as a big person had limited my life to what I knew I could manage to do each day. That was eat. I hadn't anything else to look forward to. So my eating choices were the best I could dream up. I planned the cooking in managable lots in my head and filled my day with and around it.

        Now I have a whole new big, bigger, biggest, best days ever. I am out there with those skinny people doing stuff i could never have dreamt of. Food is now an after thought. It doesn't consume my day. I still enjoy the good home cooked food but I eat smaller portions. I leave food on my plate when I am full. I can no longer hear my mother's voice saying eat it all up, ther are starving children in Africa who would want that!

        I still cook for family feasts, I love cooking. I still do holidays but I have changed from the All inclusive drinking and eating everything everyday kind to Self catering accommodation. This gives me the choice of cooking or eating out as I choose. I rarely drink anymore as I usually travel alone now and I feel I need to keep aware of my surroundings.

        I don't know at what point my life expanded, was it when I lost 100 pounds? Was it when I left my walking stick at home ? Was it when I said yes to an outing instead of finding an excuse to stay home ? i look back at my last five years and wonder how loosing weight has made such a difference. Be ready to amaze yourself.

        BTW, the liquid diet sucks, one more day and you are over the worst. You can do it.

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