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What do you see when you look in the mirror ?



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I know I look better than before but emotionally, I have yet to find peace because I still secretly fear that this is a just a dream and I will wake up most of my weight back.

Wow, @@erp, you expressed it perfectly! This is why we have to work so hard to get our heads right during the journey towards our goal. Ironically, if we do everything right, the day will come when the compliments fade, the exhilaration of fitting into new sizes diminishes, and our surgery will stop doing some of the heavy lifting. And from then on, comes... the rest of our lives. Just like watching children grow up, we need to try to embrace and Celebrate each success, each time we make the right choice, each scale and non-scale victory, each compliment, each disease we overcome, each ache or pain that goes away, and each milestone we achieve along the way. Every time someone say, "OMG, I didn't recognize you," I'm overjoyed, because that means the new me is coming to life. I hope and pray that you (and so many others) can learn to accept your success, not as a step towards the next failure, but as a well-earned and entirely positive outcome of your WLS decision; and focus your energies on maintaining that success by looking forwards and not backwards. We all deserve it! (Whew, I guess your statement above really moved me!)

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What a fantastic thread! I am taking out a pen and writing "worthy" on my hand right now. It's a hard thing for me to remember. Worthy and deserving of all good things. I used to write "willing" on my hand from time to time, because I was willing to do whatever it took to heal. Well, for me apparently it took surgery because now I feel like I am truly healing. I never felt like I belonged or that I was welcome. This may have to do with being adopted. When my parents got me there was an intention that finally having a baby would make my mother happy, that all of her problems had to do with her inability to carry a baby to term. Well, I didn't deliver. I was carried in shame by some one who could not deal with having an out of wedlock baby and given to some one who was not able to deal with the real sources of unhappiness in her life. I think that gets into our cells somehow. Meanwhile I am so fortunate to be truly loved. Adored even. But I had trouble accepting it, feeling it, because I could not truly adore myself. Now I'm getting glimpses of that. I sort of look at myself as a character in a book and admire some attribute -- then there is this feeling of, "oh, don't get carried away with yourself." Dammit, I'm ready to be carried away. I'm ready to really get it that I am one wonderful human being. I matter. And I'm welcome.

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I'm currently struggling with this... I'm down 31 lbs since surgery and 74 lbs since I began the whole process in July.

I keep getting comments, "You're disappearing!", "Skinny lady", "You're melting." But I don't see it...

I'm finally just under 200 lbs, for the first time in 15 years. I put on my prom dress a few weekends ago and I totally could have worn it.

I need to figure out how to make my brain catch up...

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What do you see when you look in the mirror ?

@@gowalking

short and sweet......... :)

i see a person that is soooo happy with life :)

and who happens to look "cute as a button too" ;) :D

kathy

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    • Alisa_S

      On day 4 of the 2 week liquid pre-op diet. Surgery scheduled for June 11th.
      Soooo I am coming to a realization
      of something and I'm not sure what to do about it. For years the only thing I've enjoyed is eating. We rarely do anything or go anywhere and if we do it always includes food. Family comes over? Big family dinner! Go camping? Food! Take a short ride or trip? Food! Holiday? Food! Go out of town for a Dr appointment? Food! When we go to a new town we don't look for any attractions, we look for restaurants we haven't been to. Heck, I look forward to getting off work because that means it's almost supper time. Now that I'm drinking these pre-op shakes for breakfast, lunch, and supper I have nothing to look forward to.  And once I have surgery on June 11th it'll be more of the same shakes. Even after pureed stage, soft food stage, and finally regular food stage, it's going to be a drastic change for the rest of my life. I'm giving up the one thing that really brings me joy. Eating. How do you cope with that? What do you do to fill that void? Wow. Now I'm sad.
      · 0 replies
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    • Alisa_S

      On day 4 of the 2 week liquid pre-op diet. Surgery scheduled for June 11th.
      Soooo I am coming to a realization
      of something and I'm not sure what to do about it. For years the only thing I've enjoyed is eating. We rarely do anything or go anywhere and if we do it always includes food. Family comes over? Big family dinner! Go camping? Food! Take a short ride or trip? Food! Holiday? Food! Go out of town for a Dr appointment? Food! When we go to a new town we don't look for any attractions, we look for restaurants we haven't been to. Heck, I look forward to getting off work because that means it's almost supper time. Now that I'm drinking these pre-op shakes for breakfast, lunch, and supper I have nothing to look forward to.  And once I have surgery on June 11th it'll be more of the same shakes. Even after pureed stage, soft food stage, and finally regular food stage, it's going to be a drastic change for the rest of my life. I'm giving up the one thing that really brings me joy. Eating. How do you cope with that? What do you do to fill that void? Wow. Now I'm sad.
      · 1 reply
      1. summerseeker

        Life as a big person had limited my life to what I knew I could manage to do each day. That was eat. I hadn't anything else to look forward to. So my eating choices were the best I could dream up. I planned the cooking in managable lots in my head and filled my day with and around it.

        Now I have a whole new big, bigger, biggest, best days ever. I am out there with those skinny people doing stuff i could never have dreamt of. Food is now an after thought. It doesn't consume my day. I still enjoy the good home cooked food but I eat smaller portions. I leave food on my plate when I am full. I can no longer hear my mother's voice saying eat it all up, ther are starving children in Africa who would want that!

        I still cook for family feasts, I love cooking. I still do holidays but I have changed from the All inclusive drinking and eating everything everyday kind to Self catering accommodation. This gives me the choice of cooking or eating out as I choose. I rarely drink anymore as I usually travel alone now and I feel I need to keep aware of my surroundings.

        I don't know at what point my life expanded, was it when I lost 100 pounds? Was it when I left my walking stick at home ? Was it when I said yes to an outing instead of finding an excuse to stay home ? i look back at my last five years and wonder how loosing weight has made such a difference. Be ready to amaze yourself.

        BTW, the liquid diet sucks, one more day and you are over the worst. You can do it.

    • CaseyP1011

      Officially here for a long time, not just a good time💪
      · 0 replies
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    • KimBaxleyWilson

      Three months and four days ago... I was in Costa Rica having a life changing surgery! Yesterday we had a followup visit with Dr. Esmeral via video chat and this morning my middle number changed.  I'm down 47lbs and two pants sizes. I can wear a Large tshirt for the first time in like... 14 years! Woot!! Everything is going great. I have zero regrets. I went down to the riverwalk with a friend and walked 2 miles on Monday without even getting fatigued. And no more snoring or chugging pickle juice for crazy leg cramps! I need to go to the gym more... I'm making new shirts next week so that will motivate me. LOL But I'm also just not as TIRED all the time! I have a LONG way to go...but seeing the progress on the scales and in the mirror is a huge motivator!! Thank you all for cheering me on and supporting me!!
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    • bellaamey

      https://alluniqueguide.com/java-burn-coffee-reviews/
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