Last night I attended the bariatric support group meeting of my local medical group. There were 35 people in the room including a staff nutritionist and the Procedure Scheduling Coordinator. The attendees fell mostly into three groups.

The first group were people going through the process of being approved for surgery. The second group had received surgery recently and were in the first few months of reducing. The third group were people who had surgery about a year ago and had lost a substantial amount of weight. And then there was me. I was the only one there who'd had WLS more than a year ago (2003 is certainly more than a year ago!).

As I listened to the discussion, what struck me was that the main voices in the room were those in the honeymoon period. Most speakers were less than a year out from their surgery, had lost a tremendous amount of weight and were very euphoric.

The theme that dominated the session was that it is smart for the prospective patient and those in the first few months post-surgery to surround themselves with people who have only positive things to say about their WLS, only read positive message boards and blogs, and keep away from any 'negative' perspectives.

I make a point of spending time on message boards where people are struggling with their weight-loss surgery. I need to be able to understand their challenges in addition to those I have personally faced. As a Life Coach I need to see why and how people struggle and how they get beyond it. In addition to benefiting me professionally, this helps me on my own journey to maintain my goal weight when my old thoughts and behavior patterns re-appear.

I spoke up to the group last night because I think it's important for all of us to focus not only on the positive, but also to acknowledge the land-mines that anyone can experience after weight-loss surgery. Otherwise, the opportunity is lost to learn from the struggles of others and avoid avoidable pit-falls.

Weight loss surgery is an amazing tool for change, but it isn't good for everyone. Attention to some peoples' bad post-surgical experiences is an opportunity to balance the information given (or not given) by the those with an economic incentive to sell surgery. For example, at last night's meeting there was a woman (who has been approved for surgery in November) talking about how she looked forward to the end surgery would bring to her desire to eat in stressful situations. The professionals in the room were silent.

I said to this woman, "Many weight-loss surgery patients still battle the tendency to eat when stressed." I told her that she shouldn't expect the surgery to eliminate the desire to eat when stressed and that it would be wise to begin to create strategies now for dealing with her stress after surgery.

I told her that in my experience and in the experience of many of my clients, the stressful situations that triggered the desire to eat in the past are still very present after weight-loss surgery. With the loss of food as an ally and a slimming body that can feel vulnerable and unprotected in the world many turn to drugs or alcohol or force unhealthy foods down their throats looking for a de-stressor or comfort.

Last night's discussion leads me to ask you, the BariatricPal veteran, the following questions:

What were you told prior to surgery about life after surgery that was not entirely true or was not the entire story?

What do you wish you had fully understood prior to surgery that you did not and what do you believe would have put you in the best possible position to succeed after surgery?

What information, if any, was missing in the lead-up to your surgery that gave you unreasonable expectations or that led to disappointment in the months or years since surgery?

I don't pose these questions to be negative, I want as many people as possible to succeed with their surgeries! I want to clear the air and "add to the record" about what weight-loss surgery does and what it will NEVER do.

So, those of you who have had surgery, what do you want those considering surgery to know?

Thank you. Sorry for the typos, don't know how to edit on my Kindle

the only thing i would add is that YES YOU CAN.......if you TRULY want too

the WLS is merely a (helper).....the tool that brings one success if the one we already have

ourselves