I've been researching and checking into wls for over 3 years now, ever since I realized how much energy it takes to be a parent. In previous years, we couldn't afford it. Seemed like it was always a dream out of reach. Now I have insurance that will cover ALL the costs, and once I started actively pursuing surgery, it's as if my husband has gotten less and less supportive. He says I've never really tried to lose weight on my own (I have), that my weight problem is because I simply don't move enough (which may be true, but I am working on it), and that the sleeve surgery is absolutely a surefire quick path to certain death.

I have to wait 6 months before surgery can be approved, and I've been placed on a 1200 high Protein low carb diet, because if I gain any weight past my original starting weight, the insurance company will not approve (which makes no sense, but okay...). I've already lost 12 pounds after adjusting my eating habits and my husband is convinced if I maintain this new food lifestyle, that I'll be able to lose the weight on my own. Now I just don't know what to do.

Does anyone have any advice? Should I do the surgery anyway? Should I wait until the end of the 6 months to decide? I'm not really sure at this point and any words of wisdom are greatly appreciated.

Hi, Thanks for your response. My surgeon does not recommend these procedures for me. All the best to you.

From reading your posts, it looks like your husband is afraid of the surgery, and afraid of losing you. besides reassuring him, I think taking him to a support group would allow him to see how many people have successfully gone through the surgery. He might hear stories about how bad their lives were before losing weight. Perhaps you can show or tell him reasons the weight is so bad for you, and how it could be much more dangerous than the surgery ever would be. My husband says he supports me. I attended the first seminar, and see the surgeon on Nov. 5th. Then I will find out what tests and procedures I need prior to surgery. My husband recently started buying me candy bars. Hmm. Think he is feeling insecure. I made a list of physical reasons I want to lose weight and posted them on the fridge. None of them had to do with how I will look, or being able to wear cuter clothes. I had to think about what I will be able to do, and how i will feel. He reads that every time he goes into the refrigerator, and I think it reassures him a little. I know he will feel insecure when I lose weight, but I plan to talk to him about how much better I feel and talk about how I can go for walks with grandchildren, take them to the park, etc. I can barely walk now, and need major spinal surgery. I can't have it unless I lose at least 100 lbs, so I am VERY motivated. I really do hope your husband comes around.

I hate to be blunt in this situation.....but.. This isn't about him it's about you and your health. You must put yourself first or you will die. He can either get on board or he can lose you because of health problems caused by being obese. My husband wasn't on board and still isn't on board. But if I hadn't put myself first I was headed for certain death before I hit 40 years old. I hope for your sake he comes around. Insecurity is an ugly thing and I hope he doesn't lose you because he can't put you and your health first.