Biggest Loser

[built2livenotexist 119]

@VSGAnn; Thank you for your comments.

For me, I have some definite emotional issues around food that I've been working on in therapy for over a year. I have had some moments over the last few months that brought me to tears or caused a great realization of patterns I've been blind to.

I do not love food; I use it and abuse it; have for a long time. It can provide a sense of comfort or indulgence and has temporarily alleviated boredom and loneliness. It allows me to feel in or out of control. food is not going to leave me or criticize me or cheat or lie, so there's a certain sense of safety. My relationship with food is unhealthy at best.

I'm sure some of you can relate to watching a talk show where a female guest sits on stage and lists all the horrible abuses she's gone through at the hands of her mate. She says that she has tried to leave a handful of times but goes back due to the promise of better behavior in the future which never lasts long. When asked why she doesn't leave for good she says, "Because I love him." The audience shake their heads.

Now, if we switched the players around and I was in the seat and I made a list of all of the negative things that have arisen as a result of my relationship with food; I am uncomfortable in my own skin, I am sorely out of shape and have difficulty being active, my intimate life is not what I would want, health concerns, guilt, shame, regret, etc. I mention that I have a long history of attempting to amend my behavior over and over through diet and exercise but admit that I've gone back to old ways each time. When asked why I continue to go back to this negative behavior I say " Because I love food" The audience shakes their heads.

Why do they shake their heads? Because the idea that someone would gamble with their life and continually return to such risk taking behavior based simply out of love is unbelievable. It's perverse.

For me, there is a clear difference between an excuse and a cause. Doing work with an objective professional has allowed me to get down to the reality of this unhealthy destructive pattern I've been following for a couple of decades, and look at things differently, so that I can finally bring this cyclic behavior to and end. HTH

[Noragretz 28]

The biggest loser needs drama to make a show. They drag out people's personal lives to get you hooked into watching the show. That way you will have an emotional connection to the contestants. You have got to admit, there have been some pretty dramatic life stories on there, which probably do account for "some" people's weight problems. But I too think that my problem is that I LIKE food, no, LOVE is a better word. No, I haven't had a perfect life, but I really can't say I've turned to food over it. I can't say I'm an emotional eater. When I'm upset - I usually can't eat. HOWEVER chocolate is a great antidepressant! Lol. I have a sugar (candy) addiction, I have admitted to that for many years, I have asked my doctor and friends for help. And have worked hard at avoiding any candy since being sleeved. I have lost a lot of weight in the past by just not eating candy/sugar. But eventually gave in to my demons. I still struggle daily, and hopefully I can stay strong. I have asked my family and friends to help me with it, and ask them to say something if they see me going for candy. Admitting you have a problem is a big first step, then finding the help you need is an even bigger 2nd step. I wish you the best in finding that help you need.

[BitterSweet* 835]

@@built2livenotexist and @@Noragretz, thank you for sharing a portion of your lives. Plenty of people can identify with your stories and others on here. I appreciate the capacity both of you have in being open and honest without forcing your way of thinking down other people's throats. This is what adult discussion should look like.

[Stephanie Kandace 69]

I appreciate everyone's feed back, apologize for being MIA, been working doubles last few days and at work right now. I must say I really appreciate a few comments made here by some of you.

#1 my post is not about the biggest loser but my question was about how many of us know what got us here. Some say there are no issues they are just fat because they like to eat and this is where I agree with Bittersweet*, tunnel vision is never a good thing and I find it ironic how some of you feel because you may not feel as if something in your life has impacted your diet in the past but to automatically assume someone is overweight simply because they are greedy is just as ignorant as many feeling that all fat people are lazy. NOT TRUE!!!

#2 the reason I believe there is something underlying to obesity is because if you go back into the forum and follow the post regarding what will we NOT miss, it is heart breaking. My post included because it made me ask, if we so want to accomplish these things and feel these different ways then why continue to sabotage ourselves. I understand that this weight loss/weight gain life is hard but every time we reach for a cookie, cake, bread, rib, ice cream, extra butter, chocolate, Mexican, Chinese, fast food, burger or any of those things we felt we needed then truth is, that feeling of wanting/needing that meal trumped the things we want for ourselves like wearing a bikini, being more active with our children, living longer lives, etc. this is what made me wonder what is holding me back and I guess I should have phrased the question better.

#3 I will share my own story quickly as I can if I haven't bored you to tears yet. I grew up in a household where everything must be cleaned off of our plates. Constantly told to eat until I am full and a grandmother that catered and made sure I had a home made cake made for me once a week. Always told I was pretty and curvy so I showed confidence and many commented on wishing they had my confidence but I had very little to none. I stopped going to college because I hated the small chairs I had to squeeze into. Post poned nursing school until I could find a school that did not mandate white scrubs because I thought I looked like a huge gallon of milk! Married the first man that made me feel beautiful, he was my trophy. Had 2 daughters that love the outdoors but I only take them out when it's not too humid or too many people. The majority of our trips are to the movies which Involves nachos, popcorn, sodas and candy.

Finally lost 65lbs in 2011 and never felt better, even dated a man that I fell in love with. Then the weight began creeping back on the last year after our breakup, having many issues with my family and also dealing with a stressful change of companies at work. ..I can go on forever but my question to myself is if I've never felt better and happier than when I was 225 then why did I stop, why not continue. Why go back to donuts, Snacks, ordering out every day, etc. yes this is my personal story but I believe there is still something underlying like maybe the fear of being successful, being completely confident.

As the surgery day gets closer I wonder if I even understand the magnitude of this life change. To be completely satisfied and even happy with the way I look and more importantly feel. How great it will be to go to a shoe store and try on shoes with ease, going to Disney and Water parks with my kids, not hiding food from my own kids because I'm even embarrassed that they see me eating Ben & Jerry's again and too many more to list. But bottom line is if I want these things so badly, why couldn't I focus on those great things that are possible for a lifetime including decreased risk for almost every disease out there, opposed to picking up those things to put in my mouth that feels great until feeling horrible about all I just ate minutes later.

Bottom line is, it is my personal opinion that there is more to being obese than just liking food. I know plenty of healthy people that love food and not obese or even overweight. You don't have to agree with me but at least think about it for a minute.