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Hubby worried I won't love him



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My sweet hubby of 32 years is more than supportive in my journey. My surgery is scheduled for October 27th. The other night he said to me, "I hope you still love me when you're all skinny". He's overweight but not obese and I still think he's the sexiest man alive.

Anybody else's spouse express this concern? I assured him that he is my life and that I will always love him. How did you reasure your honey?

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My husband said something similar. He's a wonderful guy that spoils me rotten. I just told him that I'm way too lazy to train a new guy so he's safe. We sometimes use humor to express ourselves. :D

But, I have made sure to tell him more often how much I appreciate him. I think that helps a lot.

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lots of research on the subject and reports on divorce rates. sounds like there is lots of love in that relationship! best of luck to you.

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My husband who is much smaller than me expressed the same concerns. He also spoils me rotten. I told him I love him so much and leaving him is never an option.

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My husband is my main motivation for losing weight. When we met 13 years ago, I weighed 165 pounds. That's what he fell in love with. I have always carried a horrible sense of guilt about my ballooning weight, feeling like I've cheated him out of something. He has NEVER EVER expressed that concern to me. He definitely loves me no matter what my size. But I just really want to be the woman he fell in love with, because he deserves that. He's so amazing in every way and I want to reward him for having stuck with me through all my ups and downs.

Also, we don't have kids or anything. We are each other's world. If anything were to happen to me health-wise because of my weight, he would be devastated and lost. My sister-in-law died of a pulmonary embolism (most likely due too her weight) at the age of 41 and my brother was completely devastated. My whole family was completely devastated. I don't want my husband to ever have to go through anything like that. And I don't want the rest of my family to either!

Edited by JamieLogical

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Thank you all! My hubby and I dated all through highschool and married 3 days after we graduated. :) I can't imagine life without him. He spoils me rotten and I'm so very thankful that he loves me for me. But I too feel guilty as I am nearly twice the size as the person he married and I have the comorbitities to go along with that issue.

I don't EVER want him to worry about me not loving him. We joke around alot also and I do believe that I have said something to effect of me not willing to train a new guy. LOL

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My husband also seems to be a bit insecure. I tell him all the time he is the best thing that ever happened to me. We met later in life after we had both been divorced and I had been in two violent relationships. I have always told him how good he is to me and he also spoils me rotten. I would never leave him and re assure him all the time. I try to put myself in his shoes and I may feel the same way so I am very sympathic to his feelings and concerns. But I may use the "I don't want to train a new man line as a joke"

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I've told my hubby several time over the years that since I have 17 years of training put into him, why in the world would I want to start over with a new one. Besides that I think he's pretty darn spicy!!!! <3

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I had to ask my husband "who in the world other than you could stand me?"

Dead silence. He appeared to agree and feels much more secure!

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    • Alisa_S

      On day 4 of the 2 week liquid pre-op diet. Surgery scheduled for June 11th.
      Soooo I am coming to a realization
      of something and I'm not sure what to do about it. For years the only thing I've enjoyed is eating. We rarely do anything or go anywhere and if we do it always includes food. Family comes over? Big family dinner! Go camping? Food! Take a short ride or trip? Food! Holiday? Food! Go out of town for a Dr appointment? Food! When we go to a new town we don't look for any attractions, we look for restaurants we haven't been to. Heck, I look forward to getting off work because that means it's almost supper time. Now that I'm drinking these pre-op shakes for breakfast, lunch, and supper I have nothing to look forward to.  And once I have surgery on June 11th it'll be more of the same shakes. Even after pureed stage, soft food stage, and finally regular food stage, it's going to be a drastic change for the rest of my life. I'm giving up the one thing that really brings me joy. Eating. How do you cope with that? What do you do to fill that void? Wow. Now I'm sad.
      · 0 replies
      1. This update has no replies.
    • Alisa_S

      On day 4 of the 2 week liquid pre-op diet. Surgery scheduled for June 11th.
      Soooo I am coming to a realization
      of something and I'm not sure what to do about it. For years the only thing I've enjoyed is eating. We rarely do anything or go anywhere and if we do it always includes food. Family comes over? Big family dinner! Go camping? Food! Take a short ride or trip? Food! Holiday? Food! Go out of town for a Dr appointment? Food! When we go to a new town we don't look for any attractions, we look for restaurants we haven't been to. Heck, I look forward to getting off work because that means it's almost supper time. Now that I'm drinking these pre-op shakes for breakfast, lunch, and supper I have nothing to look forward to.  And once I have surgery on June 11th it'll be more of the same shakes. Even after pureed stage, soft food stage, and finally regular food stage, it's going to be a drastic change for the rest of my life. I'm giving up the one thing that really brings me joy. Eating. How do you cope with that? What do you do to fill that void? Wow. Now I'm sad.
      · 1 reply
      1. summerseeker

        Life as a big person had limited my life to what I knew I could manage to do each day. That was eat. I hadn't anything else to look forward to. So my eating choices were the best I could dream up. I planned the cooking in managable lots in my head and filled my day with and around it.

        Now I have a whole new big, bigger, biggest, best days ever. I am out there with those skinny people doing stuff i could never have dreamt of. Food is now an after thought. It doesn't consume my day. I still enjoy the good home cooked food but I eat smaller portions. I leave food on my plate when I am full. I can no longer hear my mother's voice saying eat it all up, ther are starving children in Africa who would want that!

        I still cook for family feasts, I love cooking. I still do holidays but I have changed from the All inclusive drinking and eating everything everyday kind to Self catering accommodation. This gives me the choice of cooking or eating out as I choose. I rarely drink anymore as I usually travel alone now and I feel I need to keep aware of my surroundings.

        I don't know at what point my life expanded, was it when I lost 100 pounds? Was it when I left my walking stick at home ? Was it when I said yes to an outing instead of finding an excuse to stay home ? i look back at my last five years and wonder how loosing weight has made such a difference. Be ready to amaze yourself.

        BTW, the liquid diet sucks, one more day and you are over the worst. You can do it.

    • CaseyP1011

      Officially here for a long time, not just a good time💪
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    • KimBaxleyWilson

      Three months and four days ago... I was in Costa Rica having a life changing surgery! Yesterday we had a followup visit with Dr. Esmeral via video chat and this morning my middle number changed.  I'm down 47lbs and two pants sizes. I can wear a Large tshirt for the first time in like... 14 years! Woot!! Everything is going great. I have zero regrets. I went down to the riverwalk with a friend and walked 2 miles on Monday without even getting fatigued. And no more snoring or chugging pickle juice for crazy leg cramps! I need to go to the gym more... I'm making new shirts next week so that will motivate me. LOL But I'm also just not as TIRED all the time! I have a LONG way to go...but seeing the progress on the scales and in the mirror is a huge motivator!! Thank you all for cheering me on and supporting me!!
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      https://alluniqueguide.com/java-burn-coffee-reviews/
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