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secret surgery: what else can you tell someone if they ask?



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My plan is to tell people who inquire about weight loss I'm doing a lot of hard work and participating in an intensive medically supervised program, which is the absolute truth since the surgery is only a small part of the program I'm going through.

I LOVE this! This is what I am going to use!

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I did finally tell my best friend about my sleeve. She is soooo happy for me. She has went to my surgeon and is now scheduled to have bypass in Dec! WOW. So nice to have this to share with her. Still very careful who I talk to though. Just going to keep this all very close to me and share rarely.

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I have chosen not to tell the majority of people about my surgery. I get lots of inquiries about how I did it. My general response is that I upped my Protein, cut out carbs, and started running. All of these things are very true. And honestly, while the surgery is a tool to help us lose the weight quickly, without the hard work and careful attention to eating right and exercise, it won't last. So really, I don't feel like I am being deceptive in any way.

An additional thought is that if people really want to know, they will find out, as I have a public blog out there about the surgery. And really if someone lost 140 pounds in a year, I'm pretty sure I would put 2 and 2 together on my own....lol....

Edited by livvsmum

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I use the transgender surgery option, clear my throat, talk a little deeper, and say, "you can call me Uncle Janny if you want"

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I'm using vacation instead of disability because I don't want to explain. But they know I've been losing weight and gad health problems so I already started using that for declining work lunch dates etc and I'll just say health issues not specific to surgery:)

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I've set the stage for losing weight/surgery by telling people it's suspected that I have a hiatal hernia (I don't have one).That being overweight exacerbates the situation so I have been seeing a nutritionist who has put me on a high Protein and low carb diet and has me drink Protein Shakes for lunch. Hopefully losing weight will help the issue, but if it is still a problem in 3-4 months I may need surgery :) it explains me drinking protein now, losing weight, and possible surgery.

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I just told close friends and trusted family. Told my work I needed abdominal surgery due to a medical issue and that my eating will look different when I get back because of the healing process. They seemed satisfied and just glad I returned to work lol

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I always say I has a hernia repaired. The doc did fix a hiatal hernia...weightloss follows that surgery also....

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I've got news for all of you who don't tell people....they know. And if they don't, they will figure it out. But I respect your decisions to keep it to yourselves. I couldn't. But then again, I'm an "open book". Sometimes to a fault ;)

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I am also keeping my surgery on the down low. I previously had an ovarian cyst and right ovary removed. If people inquire, I am tell them it is to remove some scar tissue that'd been causing me pain.

The essential people in my that need to know, know!

Had thought,I tell tell people appendix or gallbladder removal BUT what if I really do need those surgeries later!?! Hehe

Edited by Emtabulous

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I use the transgender surgery option, clear my throat, talk a little deeper, and say, "you can call me Uncle Janny if you want"

^^^^ MY FAVORITE ANSWER EVER!

Thank you for the creativity and fun. :)

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I've got news for all of you who don't tell people....they know. And if they don't, they will figure it out. But I respect your decisions to keep it to yourselves. I couldn't. But then again, I'm an "open book". Sometimes to a fault ;)

I don't think so. :)

I've lost and gained weight so many times before in my life that I could charge you to ride me like a rollercoaster.

Plus, I'm a slow WLS loser.

However, the real shock is going to come a year and a half from now when I don't regain all the weight I've lost.

LOL!

Edited by VSGAnn2014

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I've told three people, all close friends. Two are local and one is overseas; all three are very understanding and supportive. I'm retired so I don't have to worry about nosy coworkers, diet contests, and the like. I'm not close with most of my family in the US so I'm not worried about reactions of family members here. I do have relatives overseas, a few of whom I'm very close with, but I'm waiting till I see them to talk about it because bariatric surgery is new in their country and it will be easier to explain/discuss when we can sit down and relax together.

I really don't care what anyone else in my environment thinks they know about me. I'm old enough to remember when openly nosy people were in the minority and considered to be extremely rude. Why would I owe anyone like that any details?

The one exception to not telling anyone beyond that small group would be if I thought I might be able to help someone by sharing. A cab driver who took me home from a doctor's appointment shared his WLS experience with me (he'd lost 300 pounds) and planted a seed. It was a while before I saw him again and by that time I'd had my initial consult with my surgeon and was running to appointments for things he wanted me to get done before having my procedure. I was glad to have the chance to thank him for reaching out to me and he was happy to learn that I was in process, saying that he hoped the next time he saw me there'd be less of me!

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I just went with stomach surgery and left it at that. People are generally too polite to pry any further than that.

That's what I have been going with too.

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Yup. I've been up and down. Mostly up now, but I recently maintained (by the skin of my teeth) 140 pound weight loss from 2006 to 2010. I've been slowly and steadily gaining from 2011 till now (with hypertension and arthritis). Went on a crazy juice fast 2 years ago and lost 40. I remember in the height of maintenance every one would comment on how good I looked wherever I walked around the hospital where I still work. And because I maintained it for so long, many felt like it was safe to do so. I've since learned to appreciate the people that don't mention body weight (here excluded). A how you doing and a smile can go a long way....all that to say, people are used to me carrying around liquids, watching what I eat, making green smoothies in the break room and leaving for lunchtime power walks!! When the weight loss occurs, I'll just say "I'm back on the wagon like a recovering alcoholic, I let it go too long this time." When I loss the weight before, I was excused of having WLS by a couple of jealous chicks....I do like the medically-supervised weight loss plan and doing some liquids meals for a while, too.....And at the end of the day, it's nunya d@mn business!!!

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    • Alisa_S

      On day 4 of the 2 week liquid pre-op diet. Surgery scheduled for June 11th.
      Soooo I am coming to a realization
      of something and I'm not sure what to do about it. For years the only thing I've enjoyed is eating. We rarely do anything or go anywhere and if we do it always includes food. Family comes over? Big family dinner! Go camping? Food! Take a short ride or trip? Food! Holiday? Food! Go out of town for a Dr appointment? Food! When we go to a new town we don't look for any attractions, we look for restaurants we haven't been to. Heck, I look forward to getting off work because that means it's almost supper time. Now that I'm drinking these pre-op shakes for breakfast, lunch, and supper I have nothing to look forward to.  And once I have surgery on June 11th it'll be more of the same shakes. Even after pureed stage, soft food stage, and finally regular food stage, it's going to be a drastic change for the rest of my life. I'm giving up the one thing that really brings me joy. Eating. How do you cope with that? What do you do to fill that void? Wow. Now I'm sad.
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      1. LeighaTR

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    • Alisa_S

      On day 4 of the 2 week liquid pre-op diet. Surgery scheduled for June 11th.
      Soooo I am coming to a realization
      of something and I'm not sure what to do about it. For years the only thing I've enjoyed is eating. We rarely do anything or go anywhere and if we do it always includes food. Family comes over? Big family dinner! Go camping? Food! Take a short ride or trip? Food! Holiday? Food! Go out of town for a Dr appointment? Food! When we go to a new town we don't look for any attractions, we look for restaurants we haven't been to. Heck, I look forward to getting off work because that means it's almost supper time. Now that I'm drinking these pre-op shakes for breakfast, lunch, and supper I have nothing to look forward to.  And once I have surgery on June 11th it'll be more of the same shakes. Even after pureed stage, soft food stage, and finally regular food stage, it's going to be a drastic change for the rest of my life. I'm giving up the one thing that really brings me joy. Eating. How do you cope with that? What do you do to fill that void? Wow. Now I'm sad.
      · 1 reply
      1. summerseeker

        Life as a big person had limited my life to what I knew I could manage to do each day. That was eat. I hadn't anything else to look forward to. So my eating choices were the best I could dream up. I planned the cooking in managable lots in my head and filled my day with and around it.

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        I still cook for family feasts, I love cooking. I still do holidays but I have changed from the All inclusive drinking and eating everything everyday kind to Self catering accommodation. This gives me the choice of cooking or eating out as I choose. I rarely drink anymore as I usually travel alone now and I feel I need to keep aware of my surroundings.

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        BTW, the liquid diet sucks, one more day and you are over the worst. You can do it.

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