Hello,

I need some advice regarding having someone help me the first few weeks of recovery versus not having anyone to help me and doing recovery on my own alone.

So here is the thing, I live alone in DC and my entire family is in FL. I chose to do it in DC because I really like my surgeon. I am planning on having no help during recovery and I will be taking 4-6 weeks off from work (depends how I feel). My mom thinks I am crazy (maybe she is right) and she says she wants to take the whole month off also to be with me. I feel bad because I don't want to jeopardize her job and I am not really sure that she need to be present. She suffers and worries when she sees me sick. Now, has anyone done the recovery with no help from anyone at home? Do you regret it? Those that help from others at home, were you glad someone was available or keeping you company? Or did you think you could've done this alone? Do you think maybe only the first week is needed?

Also, I haven't asked my surgeon but I was thinking of doing recovery in FL, but I am afraid if there are complications that my surgeon won't be readily available. Also, I still don't know how often I will be seeing him post-surgery. My next appointment is this Thursday, so I will ask him all these questions as well, but I wanted to get your opinion or thoughts on all of this.

Any advice is much appreciated. Thank you!!

Edited August 31, 201411 yr by bluedreams86

I was fine a few days after surgery. Took one dose of rocket at home and 2 nights of liquid Tylenol.driving but not far by day 6. Very bloated and easily tired...did my walking but rested during the day. Surgery 8/14/14

8-25 I had surgery. Even that first night in the hospital I buzzed the nurse because I had to pee but got up myself. When I got home I had my daughter home but did a lot myself. She helped like put the laundry on the drier so I could wash it and took it out of the drier for me I did the rest.

I am going back to work with 2 weeks off.. If I didn't have the sterile strips still I wouldn't have thought i had the surgery. I feel awesome!!

My husband was with me the whole way but after the first day of soreness i really didnt need much help.. the company and someone to talk to and also someone to lift the trash and take it out was nice since there are lifting restrictions. If you dont have any complications i think you will do fine, but a week of mom would probably be nice since the first week is when you are weak and adjusting.

I would definitely have someone there to help you. You are limited to what you can do for the first couple of weeks...no lifting over 10lbs, no pushing/pulling, no house cleaning, things like that. No driving for a week. Plus you are pretty weak from the surgery itself. And you may have pain...mine has been pretty moderate and I'm thankful my mom has been around. Everyone is different but I would suggest having someone there for you the first couple of weeks.

My husband never left my side he stayed with me both nights at the hospital too. It was just nice having him there. His work have him time off (sick leave) for me having surgery and was not required to take FMLA. I wouldn't say I had to have him there but it was nice when I woke up to have him there and not have to wait for anything. I had surgery on the 25th he just went back to work last night and I have to go back on Monday. It's been nice spending time with him!

Hi! Good luck with your surgery!

I had my surgery on a Tuesday and spent 2 nights in the hospital. (Tuesday and Wednesday) Like you, I live alone. I spent one night with a family member then went back to my own house on Friday. I did fine by myself. I actually went back to work the following Monday! My best advise would be to walk as much as you can in the hospital. It really makes the recovery a whole lot easier! I started walking about 1/2 hour after getting in my room then was up every few hours. You will definitely know how well you are doing. Everyone's recovery is different. It is really nice that your mom is able to help out in such a grand way. Good Luck!

Is it ridiculous to think that I can still take care of my 9 year old son (I'm a single mom) after I get home from the hospital? My surgery will be next month and I'm not telling anyone about it. I just want to do the surgery and get on with my life. I don't want to be taken care of nor do I want to give others something to worry about. I've been very independent all my life and have been through a lot. I just see this surgery as a time to toughen up and carry on.

I had sleeve surgery on a Wednesday, went home on Thursday, went grocery shopping on Saturday with my daughter to lift things and was back to work on Monday. yes there was pain the first few days but nothing intolerable. mostly had fatigue the first few weeks.

there is no reason to have help from your mom for a month. she could do 4-7 day trip at most. my mother is in heaven but I don't think either of us would have wanted a month in each other's company. your mom can come again when you are further out and enjoy each other's company when you have more energy.

Could your mom maybe help out for the first few days? It will be a lot easier if you don't have a drain. The drain wasn't that bad, but it just made it harder getting up and down and showering.

My husband took a week off and was home with me the 1st 4 days I was home. but I was fine when he went back to work. You will at the very least need help getting to your first preop appointment although I suppose you could take a cab.

I am post bypass for 2 months. I only needed 2 weeks off from work but everyone is different. I deff needed my hubs the first week but after the first week I was able to do most day to day things on my own. just go slow and listen to your body.

I was fine to be alone day after surgery. I was up walking and had no complications and I was a revision from band to bypass.

I drove myself to my post op appt a week after. in fact I drove myself to the grocery store 3 days after.

everybody different but help for about a week should be more than enough. if you have kids it's nice to have someone to cook their meals and get them off to school but you don't really need any personal help for yourself.

I had sleeve surgery on a Wednesday, went home on Thursday, went grocery shopping on Saturday with my daughter to lift things and was back to work on Monday. yes there was pain the first few days but nothing intolerable. mostly had fatigue the first few weeks.

there is no reason to have help from your mom for a month. she could do 4-7 day trip at most. my mother is in heaven but I don't think either of us would have wanted a month in each other's company. your mom can come again when you are further out and enjoy each other's company when you have more energy.

My team said that if you drive to your first post-op appointment and they find out they will not clear you to drive so I chose to follow their instructions. I am a rule follower - what else can I say? :-)

I didn't have any rules against driving. Every doc is different.

I would think if you aren't on painkillers it is fine. I didn't need any after the first 24 hours. I bet the docs don't want you to if you are still medicating.. IMO