3 weeks in and still battling "wanting" not "needing". HELP!

[thesooz 8]

It's my 3 week surgiversary and I guess I'm looking for support to help me with the "break up" with food. I find myself eating half portions of much smaller meals, but still wanting to eat even though I'm not feeling the need to eat. I want food and don't want to waste food - but not needing it so much. I get my first fill today and am nervous how that will be. I've only lost a little so far, which was mostly the no carbs pre-op diet. Has anyone else felt this way?

[Bandista 7,466]

Hi Sooz -- you are in good company here; I think most if not all of us have had to deal with that whole issue of head hunger vs. real hunger. I saw a therapist and we worked to break down the triggers. It was tedious but I'm really glad I did it. I am older (fifties) and thought I already knew everything about my food issues -- emotional eater, stress eater, etc. -- but this time I went very deeply into the specifics of my behavior. Phone rings, walk to kitchen, get something. Have to go to a business meeting, stop somewhere on the way for a treat -- to ground myself, reward myself, stop somewhere on the way back, too, heck. You get the idea. So now I am super aware of the things that set me off. It's different now because I can override my immediate cravings because of the band. Now I'm not dealing with the "want" plus having hunger at the same time -- if I'm not really hungry and am just craving something I try to figure out why. Today, for example, son's first day of college, we are just off of ten days of major events with family, hosting dinners, people here, etc. I am exhausted. So what do I want to do? Well, eat. It's anxiety. So this tells me I need to take good care of myself. I use the HALT -- do you know that one? Never get too Hungry, Angry, Lonely or Tired.

[ABLOND 92]

I'm 7 months out and STILL dealing with the "break-up" (I love the reference lol). .... Sometimes the food taste so darn good, that I hate to put it down...I've had to have my husband take my plate cause though I was "satisfied and close to be overly full" I couldn't quit eating 1. because it tasted so good 2. I hate wasting food

good luck....hang in there ... you can do it...

[thesooz 8]

Thanks y'all. It's a tough road - feels good to know I'm not alone.

[JustWatchMe 7,117]

I'm dealing with head hunger lately and I didn't have that come up early in my post op period. A lot has changed for me this summer and my calming mechanism has always been food. I'm trying to be aware of it each day and substitute a different calming mechanism, like taking a walk.

[Gaylene 5]

Bandista

I like your reply re the head hunger. Head hunger is my real issue at the moment. I got the band in 2008 and have recently put on half the weight that I have lost. I am scared. I make food choices like a child. I am 63 years old!!

[Luka Beth 78]

This will be a lifelong battle... We always want what we shouldn't and not what we need. I struggle with this every single day. Sometimes I win... Sometimes that ice cream does. Good luck... But don't worry... You aren't perfect... So if you do indulge on occasion, it's not the end of the world.

[sleepingarby 71]

2 things helped me. First, set your plate for a finicky toddler. Meaning put too little on the plate and pack the leftovers in containers before you eat. Second, eat all the Protein off your plate first, then veggies, then only if their is room, starches (i.e. Breads, potatoes.). Then plan on doing something immediately after you finish. Go for a walk, fold the laundry, do your nails, anything that keeps you away from the "old food boyfriend" in the fridge. I found he haunts me when watching tv, so I limit myself every to one show and then do something for 10-20 minutes before going back to the tv. Food and tv seem to go together in a bad company sort of way. Hope it helps! ????

[B-52 7,113]

Three weeks after surgery one cannot expect much help from the band...there are exceptions, but for the most all you have had accomplished was successfully going through the surgery, and getting all healed up...back to where you where before the surgery.

Now comes the next phase, and perhaps the most difficult of all...getting your band properly adjusted, and getting yourself adjusted to be in harmony with the band.

This is where many people go their separate ways, and follow their beliefs and comfort zones where they want to be and how they feel they want to do it....some find it, some do not...some are 100% successful and complete this journey, some not and never will....the band is adjustable.

Sometimes I feel it would be easier if it weren't, but it is. And there is a big learning curve one has to go through....that is why they start drilling in the "Rules" long before the surgery itself....they will start to become practicable soon.

Three weeks in? Nothing.....NOW the real journey is about to begin.

Edited September 21, 2014 by B-52

[IwantAhealthierMe 8]

Thank you! I haven't caved in to my desire for the food, but I was thinking I'm crazy because I'm reading all these posts and no one seems to be wanting food anymore! I don't feel like I need it not really want to eat it, but I'm constantly thinking about it!

Hang in there! We will get this! =)

[2muchfun 8,928]

I think the silver lining here is, once your band is tweaked so your hunger is assuaged for longer periods of time and, you start losing weight consistently, the mourning dissipates along with much of the head hunger. For most of us that is.

tmf

[NewLife'sGr8 241]

I was banded in '09. Oh, I remember those seething post-op hunger days. Actually, it was ~6months of hunger, being on that MediFast liquid diet pre-op and then through long weeks of those post-op early band adjustments. Oy!

I fell & got hurt literally, just before the surgery & injured pretty much all my soft tissues beyond belief. I think if I wasn't so overweight, my injuries would've been far less. I Ended up having 8 surgeries in 4 yrs (including the band installation).

Because I wanted to be sure I had enough nutrients to heal well from the surgeries I had to eat for nutritional value, so my plight was a bit different. I had to get enough hi-nutrition calories in to heal in me, and still lose weight. For that reason, I requested the band adjustments be increased slowly over time.

I think it was all that pain from being injured, and owey post-surgeries that eradicated my hunger, over those 4 long yrs.

I lost 100lbs. I couldn't exercise like I used to but I have a few long stints of physical therapy which kept me in pretty good shape while I lost the LB's. Now that I'm mobile again, I haven't figured out getting that exercise in & I've gone a bit flabby & notice my skin sagging in all the wrong places. Def Need to get on that exercise wagon again!

After the last surgery my hunger rose and I gained 15lbs in about 4 mos. It scared me. I was more active. Just walking around all over sans devices triggered that hunger button again. I'm now back in the tweak-it stage.

Life-stress, & I mean mega-stress, encroached upon me, so naturally I did the worst thing I could do & picked up smoking cigarettes again after being 5yrs smoke-free. Ugh! It began when I was told I needed that 2nd hip replacement. The stress hasn't let up. Nope & I haven't yet toned my mind down enough to quit yet. It IS a priority though!

Yes, for all the bad things about cigs we know about, but what I didn't know was: smoking irritates the band site big time. I ended up with a bad case of acid tummy, burning esophagus, up all night with those signature band hacking night coughs & waking several times a night throwing up blood to boot. Literally, No rest for weeks.

So, I was treated for a possible ulcer. Fairly Easy fix. Omniprozole (sp?) to calm the tummy & some other liquid tummy stuff too & the symptoms went away. YAY!

Right now, we're still figuring out that sweet-spot of a band adjustment. Last visit, I lost 3 lbs in a month. I thought it was terrible. My PA said it was great because most who get liquid taken out of their bands come back in with 10-15lbs up. That made me feel a little better.

Right after that, he introduced me to 2 nutritionists who, according to him, were super excited all day to meet me- all week, in fact, he said. Wow. That really surprised me. I thought I was doing really terrible. We talked about my methodologies for band success & I got their rubber stamp of approval for my consumption techniques as well as a free consult with two good nutritionists, which really got the much needed wind back under my sail.

What I've learned in all this is that eating for nutritional value instead of counting calories keeps the body satiated. Whole grain carbs (Not wheat, multi-grain) brown rice, more veg proteins; Beans, nuts, hummus, using almost exclusively olive oil, hardly any butter, buying organic whenever I can 'cuz the food supply in this country is one of the worst, nutritionally, in the world. supplements, I try to remember to take them religiously. Far from perfect, I go in spurts, but do my best to remember. I also get ice cream now & then, eat dark chocolate fairly regularly (for the nutritional value, of course), fall off the boat, get back in.

Not wanting to go back up in weight is a big motivator.

I was a very unhappy (with myself) fat person who's hunger button just would not shut off. Ever. I was perpetually hungry, Yes, plus a stress eater and all that other psych.-junk in you head-eater too. But now, I honestly think I have a mal-functioning hunger button now that I've done a bit of research on it.

I still live some days perpetually hungry. On those days, I graze, conscientiously all day; a few bites of yogurt, one egg, a palmful of nuts or two here and there. It doesnt take much to satisfy. Eating well eventually gets to be habit. I stopped thinking about food all day, every day, some time ago. Not sure when it happened. It just went away without me noticing it. hmmm.... what a relief!

The moral:

Take it slow & steady. We banders won't lose overnight like the Bypassed & sleeved do. Do your best to keep active & switch your focus onto something else, thats fun.

Just when you think you're way, way off, you'll surprise yourself how right on track you've been. Like me, just when I thought I was doing terrible with my tummy tool; a couple of young, skinny, pretty nutritionists came along and told me just how Fab I looked & how impressed they were with my success, (wha-whaaaat?)- and got me all chit-chatty wanting to know the nitty-gritties about how I did it. Go figure.

Hang in there doll. The best is yet to come! You can get through this early hunger phase, like I did, like we all are- one day at a time. <3