Hello friends,

I have started my journey towards bariatric surgery this past June 2014. My surgery will be late Sept. 2014. I have heard and been learning a lot about "support" after surgery. Obviously everyone should be ecstatic for me that I am on my way to getting rid of or at least greatly reducing the severity of that which is slowly killing me at the present time: Diabetes, Fatty Liver Disease, GERD, sleep Apnea, Out of control/remarkably high cholesterol numbers as well as remarkably low "good cholesterol" numbers, social anxieties, depression, pre-arthritic symptoms, etc... Well... the obviously clear reasons for my choice are apparently not what others would choose to do, to each his own, I have no problem to agree to disagree. Unfortunately I have family (sisters, brothers, mothers and others) who love to express their correct opinions while beating the tar out of my opinions and choices. I do not live the way they live, I do not do things the way they think I should do them. So what...I'm not living on this earth for their approval.

Anyway, to avoid discussion or opinions from certain extended family members, I have decided not to tell them about my bariatric surgery. I have told my husband and my children and they are all in and supportive and excited for my choice. At the end of the day, the people who matter most are the ones who accept me, faults and all, and still show me that they love me unconditionally.

Several years ago I had a really bad bout with depression. I was bedridden for about 5 months and house bound for another 4. I have a sister who lives 2 miles east of me and another sister who lives 2 miles west of me. Sister of the west I saw once during those 9 months, and she made a phone call to someone at my church to ask them to go to my house and help. Sister of the East I never saw once. Thank goodness for fellow church members who fed my children for several months. Thank goodness my husband endured through it and was a support to my emotions. I truly believe that my healing from bariatric surgery will be as painful as was the depression.

I guess I am sharing this to get your opinions on this choice. I have been told by some that I had really reconsider and tell everyone in my family. This is such a life changing decision I'm going to go through. I have had others tell me that if I am already expecting non-supportive attitudes, jealousy, and negative comments, it is better to leave well enough alone and go on with what I know is right for me, my children and my future grandchildren. I have had people say, "What if you die from this and you hadn't told your Mom, sisters, brothers, etc....????" My answer is, "I could be hit by a bus tomorrow and would not have told any of them about that either." What do you think? Long term affects on me? Short term? Thanks!

I am getting the band so no hospital stay, just day surgery while they are at school.

Oh I see... Well good luck with your surgery!

I say do what you feel is best for you. They really don't have to know, especially since they already have a history of being non-supportive. I wish you all the best on your journey.

I did not tell anyone except my long time boyfriend of 9 yrs. Not even my children know because if they did everyone would know by now. Lol. It took a while to get to the green zone so it was an easy transition from eating healthy and working out a lot to not being able to eat hardly at all. I would try to avoid eating with people that don't know, I have been criticized by a lot of friends about my lack of appetite and how I am starving myself and/or share with your husband and it won't look so bad when your just picking at your food. Soup it always a good alternative when ordering.

Just a few people know and those who had to know like MIL that I was in the hospital I told her I'm having my gallblader and stones out, which is true! Just didn't share the rest.