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my family is telling me to stop loosing weight :(

I'm 20 years old and had the sleeve in feb 6 2014 I've lost 100 pounds so far and most of my family is telling me stop and stay where I'm at because I'm not going look good if I keep loosing. And this is hurting my feelings .. my set goal is 150 I'm at 225 and I started at 326.

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First of all it's not up to them. Not at all so they can want until the cows come home... it's not up to them. Second of all your body is going to keep losing until it hits it's set point. That might be 170, or 150 or 137.5.

Their opinions are moot and void. They can want whatever... and I guess you could work to stay where you are, but.....why?

You look great! They're probably just having trouble adjusting to the new you. Trust yourself to make the right decisions for you.

I realize that different cultures encourage and even require that family members (particularly older family members) give their input and share or even have decision-making authority over the behavior of younger family members.

This isn't the kind of culture I was reared in, but if this does describe your family culture I can only imagine the relationship landmines you're having to navigate -- especially if your family is also negotiating "old world" vs. "new world" assimilation issues.

I wish you great luck in your ability to set and to achieve YOUR goals.

  • 3 weeks later...

Sometimes I think people just want things to stay the same. I think most of us get more confident as we lose weight and that's hard for those close to us to handle. we all gained weight for a reason but the truth is we probably didn't put ourselves first and now you are. You keep moving on to that healthy weight and feel great doing it. Ignore the naysayers!!

one of my friends said something pretty profound a few weeks ago. "Sometimes people just liked you better when you were fat. When you didn't speak up for yourself and didn't have self confidence and your world revolved around them, not around you."

And that's not to say anything BAD about people who have something to say... it's just to say... change is hard for everyone, especially people who might feel like they don't know you anymore. Hang in there. They have no choice but to adjust.

""Sometimes people just liked you better when you were fat. When you didn't speak up for yourself and didn't have self confidence and your world revolved around them, not around you.""

Yes ma'am! That for sure is true. Especially when you handle differences in a polite, mature manner.

It does not matter what you decide to do. There will be someone to advise you against it.

Whenever you make changes, especially positive ones, the people in your life must change how they relate to you. And they get uncomfortable about that because YOUR change is what is the catalyst for THEIR change in the way they relate to you. And they did not see a need for change at that particular moment

They already know how to relate to you as an overweight person. As a person changing habits and lifestyle, they now need to relate to you as a healthier, slimmer person. And there will be some who won't want to. So they encourage you to stop where you are, or go back to where you were so that THEY are more comfortable around you.

I have found that others in my life are more comfortable around me when I'm heavy. When I'm dieting or changing my lifestyle and they still want to be around me, they need to accept my choices, and possibly examine if there are any changes needed in their own lifestyles.

For some, it is way easier to stay where they are. And even we have been there for a certain amount of time before we decided to take action.

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