Why hide it?

[Bob2013 326]

I have been seeing many threads on here about people keeping their surgery a secret and it really puzzles me. I understand its a personal choice but whenever someone makes a post about it they never really give the reasoning behind it.

I personally do not hide it. If anyone is curious I gladly tell them and when the questions pop up I am pretty well versed as to the facts behind the surgery so I educate them. The way I look at it is if it wasnt for people being open about it I would have never looked into making one of the best decision I have ever made. To me, it seems that keeping that secret would be more harmful mentally than whatever benefit keeping it a secret would do.

So what are the reasons? Is it being embarrassed that you had to have the surgery to lose weight? Do you want people to think you did it on your own? Is it being afraid of "What if it doesnt work"? Or is it "I just like keeping secrets"

I am not judging anyone, I am just curious.

[cutiecake 178]

Everyone's circumstances are different. For me, I'm just altogether a private person. I work with all women, and some are very catty, I don't want to be center of any gossip/ negativity. My work also deals with not only fellow employees, but many clients, and I don't feel like discussing my surgery with every person that sits at my desk. I've told my close friends and family, and if it feels right, I will open up and tell others , and I have ...for me it's really at work where I do not wish to tell people my business. We are all different, and all entitled to tell or not to tell. I don't think anyone has the same reasons as anyone else. It's hard to generalize as to why we tell or don't tell.

[livvsmum 2,368]

At first I didn't want to tell people specifically at work because I didn't want them to react negatively for me taking off the time away from work for what they would see as "elective" or "cosmetic" even. Since then, I have not told a lot of people about my surgery, but others I have. It is kind of a case-by-case basis. I have told the majority of my close friends and family, but not my co-workers and acquaintances. I view it as any other medical procedure, because it is just that, a medical procedure. I don't feel the need to make a blanket announcement about it. I just kind of view it as personal....if I choose to share it then, fine.

But in reality, while the surgery is an amazing tool, it is not what makes me choose the right kinds of food to put in my mouth, and it does not make me get out of bed every morning to run at 5:30, or it doesn't make me go to cross training while my family is still in bed sleeping on a weekend. When people want to know how I've lost weight, yes, surgery is a huge part of it, but in reality, it's so much more than that. So I can answer them honestly without disclosing my medical history should I choose to take that approach by telling them that I am eating a high Protein low carb diet, completely changed my lifestyle, and started regularly exercising.

Edited July 21, 2014 by livvsmum

[VSGAnn2014 12,992]

In real life (not here -- where I am speaking anonymously), I am a private person about private things. And WLS for me has multiple medical, psychological, behavioral and spiritual issues.

I simply don't wish to discuss it with many people I associate with regularly. Nor do I wish to invite others' opinions and evaluations about WLS.

I already know that the majority of my familial and work colleagues have a very negative opinion about WLS. Therefore, I don't wish to make myself a target of their negativity.

If you're someone who feels differently and whose life is an open book for all to read, inspect and review, then more power to you.

I'm not built that way.

This is one of life's great challenges -- to appreciate that everyone else isn't just like you.

Edited July 21, 2014 by VSGAnn2014

[April206 128]

I have only told 2 people (husband and sister)simply because I don't want unsolicited advice from people who don't know what they're talking about or possibly trying to talk me out of it. After it's done, I don't care who knows! When people ask I will be honest because it could lead to others seeking WLS.

[VSGAnn2014 12,992]

For just a small, small taste of why some people choose not to publicize their WLS decision, please see this thread started today:

http://www.bariatricpal.com/topic/314469-please-mind-your-business/

[LindafromFlorida 1,542]

In my case, my husband made the decision he did not want me discussing his (which means "our") surgery because we were both sleeved. He is like this about his finances and everything else. I respect his wishes and I realize now, 8 months later, that I like my privacy about the surgery. For instance, we go to a neighborhood club for dining and dancing, and our neighbors gush on and on, telling everyone about our weight loss. I am soooooo tired of this. Imagine if they knew we had surgery.

[mz.newlife54 103]

I don't tell people because of the negative response you here when u mention WLS. Its already a journey and a lifealtering decision already without having someone elses thoughts opinions and questions. MY life, MY body, MY decision. I went through the same negative comments and questions when i had back surgery in 2009. If I didn't feel like i needed the surgery i wouldnt have had it. The chiropractor took one look at my MRI and told me she might do more harm than good if she touched my back, she advised me to see a surgeon which i did, three for good measure. They all said the same thing, surgery. I did and haven't looked back. Sometimes people need to repect other people's decision. Im quite sure everyone on here has a story about trying diet, exercise, pills, shots etc.and have gained the weight back plus some. Getting sleeved is going to go in conjunction with changing the way i eat, how i eat and what i eat along with exercising.

[LipstickLady 25,682]

I have been seeing many threads on here about people keeping their surgery a secret and it really puzzles me. I understand its a personal choice but whenever someone makes a post about it they never really give the reasoning behind it.

I personally do not hide it. If anyone is curious I gladly tell them and when the questions pop up I am pretty well versed as to the facts behind the surgery so I educate them. The way I look at it is if it wasnt for people being open about it I would have never looked into making one of the best decision I have ever made. To me, it seems that keeping that secret would be more harmful mentally than whatever benefit keeping it a secret would do.

So what are the reasons? Is it being embarrassed that you had to have the surgery to lose weight? Do you want people to think you did it on your own? Is it being afraid of "What if it doesnt work"? Or is it "I just like keeping secrets"

I am not judging anyone, I am just curious.

I'm not "hiding" anything.

No, I'm not embarrassed.

No, it's not a "secret".

I *DID* do this on my own. Yes, I had surgery, but no one weighed and measured my food, tracked my intake, ran my miles, danced my Zumba, lifted my weights, swam my miles, or did any of the other work I had to do to lose 110+ pounds last year. My surgery was a tool, a really super awesome tool that I will be forever grateful for, but I lost the weight, no one did it for me.

Why have I not made my surgery public knowledge? Because it's none of anyone's business. I have so many more things about me that are *MUCH* more interesting than my surgery. I am a successful business owner with 300+ women on my team, I am a mom of two gifted teens who I am very proud of, I am a volunteer for a women's shelter, I am a martial arts training instructor, I have a pet hedgehog who is as cranky as they come, I can move both of my eyes independently of the other, I can sing songs in sign language, I hate getting dirty but I have a new love for doing mud runs, I am white Water certified in kayaking, I can do the splits in all three directions, I've been married to the same man for 20 years and haven't attempted murder yet, I have a wicked sense of humor and can insult you five ways to Sunday and you'll thank me for it without even realizing it.

I have no desire to explain (to people who really aren't truly interested) what a sleeve is, how it works, why they really don't know someone whose mother's best friend's cousin's neighbor's brother's wife's dentist died from this surgery/gained back all their weight/was malnourished/has seizures/never lost a pound/etc, nor do I care to explain my portion size, justify why I eat what I eat, answer the question "are you allowed to eat that" every time I put something in my mouth...

I don't talk about my pooping habits with the general public or my menstrual cycle, my gall bladder attack, why I used to pee when I sneezed, my IUD, my sore boobs during PMS, etc. I don't talk about the size of my hubby's package, how often we do the do, where we conceived our children, what we fight about when we fight, how much money I make, how much money he makes, my IQ, what brand of handbag I carry most often, or how much I spend on shoes annually, either.

Any other questions?

Edited July 21, 2014 by LipstickLady

[mz.newlife54 103]

Well said.

[LindafromFlorida 1,542]

SMH and die laughing!

[LindafromFlorida 1,542]

Actually LipstickLady I should have added what an awesome WOMAN you are because I really am in awe of your accomplishments, but you rock me out the way you always so eloquently put things! I always think why didn't I think of that! Anyway, great post.

[Jersrose43 837]

I guess I am just made of different kind of stuff.

I don't care! I am done! You want to tell me your horror stories(people do). Go ahead

You want me to give you my reasons - fine "it's the right decision for me" and more specificity you can kiss my ass

I told everyone. I do not invite you to share or opine upon my decision. Support only.

Thank you. The rest can kiss my smaller ass.

When it gets around to getting smaller.

Here is what I posted on Facebook : so we r clear

I received 100+ positive posts. And no negative opinions.

Many of you know and many do not. But today is my new birth date

For the last several months I've been working on a new lifestyle and a new diet. Today was the culmination point.

I had a gastric sleeve this morning.

There were numerous reasons That factored into this life altering decision. I am not going into them but know it was not done lightly

The sleeve is a weight loss surgery that provides you a new tool to lose weight.

This is not a cure.

It involves removing a portion of your stomach

This decision wasn't taken likely but it was the decision I made and feeling it was the right decision for me

I expect to go home tomorrow. My asthma and blood pressure are in check and so no reason to stay longer.

Many people may not agree with this... But it's my decision and I am not asking for opinions just continued support as I enter this lifelong journey.

Happy birthday to me.

My family has been great, especially my husband David who I could not have done this without.

I feel good. I was told what to expect and expected to be in agony today and it's not the case. The only pain I have is from the surprise hernia that was found and repaired.

Thank you all for your kinds words and keeping me in your thoughts

[LipstickLady 25,682]

Actually LipstickLady I should have added what an awesome WOMAN you are because I really am in awe of your accomplishments, but you rock me out the way you always so eloquently put things! I always think why didn't I think of that! Anyway, great post.

XXXOOO

[VSGAnn2014 12,992]

Just goes to show ... everyone is not the same.

I sure don't have any problem with Jersrose doing it the way she did it.

It's just not my way.