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why am I so angry

Holy smokes, I'm a raging pile of hot mess! I'm a little over a week out on bypass, I should be ecstatic, but instead, I want to gouge everyone's eyeballs out. Hubby was suppose to step up his game and help out around the house. I'm cooking, cleaning, taking care of kids, laundry, and everything else.. wtf!?! And when I voice my frustration it becomes a huge fight. There's no intimacy, no connection... which also makes my angry. How do I get past this? Is this normal for post op our should I seek professional help?

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Wow!! I'm really surprised at how much energy you have!! At this stage post op there is no way that I could have cooked, cleaned, etc. You are doing extremely well and your anger is totally normal. About the intimacy thing - your husband is just as new at this as you are. Although you look the same right now, he knows there are big changes coming and has no idea what to expect. And, although you're entitled to be angry right now, constantly expressing it to your husband does not make you a very attractive target for intimacy. To answer your question, in my opinion, yes it is normal and it should have been covered completely with you during the psych appointment(s), if that was a requirement for you. I went back and forth between anger and sadness for a few weeks, then suddenly I was extremely happy with myself, which made everyone around me happy as well. At almost 6 months post op, to use your word, I'm truly ecstatic and life is wonderful!! Everything will be fine - you just haven't found your new normal yet.

  • 5 months later...

Thank All of You !!!! For this topic oh my goodness I thought I was loosing my mind !!! I'm 7 weeks post op & it's driving me nuts at time... But there is a light at the end of tunnel

I've heard that our hormones are stored in our fat deposits, and that when we lose that we will experience all kinds of emotions that have been stored up. With that said, if my husband hadn't been willing to help me out with my personal needs and around the house, I would have been angry. I am really lucky that he was willing to do that, but after a week or two he did start to get grumpy about it, LOL. I would say to make sure that the kids are fed, and let everything else go to hell for a little while until you feel better. Just close your eyes to the mess and catch up on it later. If you have any family close by or friend who has offered to help, now would be the time to call in the recruits. If not, just do the very basics, and don't ask your husband to do anything. It might make him start feeling guilty and he might have a change of attitude want to do it himself. If one has never had an abdominal type surgery, they don't know how challenging recovery can be for the first while. It sounds like you are doing great but it sounds like you're doing way too much and my opinion. Good luck!

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