Ex-Friend Keeps Writing Negatively About Me on Different Blogs and Web Sites

[moonlitestarbrite 902]

Heaven's Gate prophet Marshall Applewhite (Do), drinking the Kool Aid with Jim Jones, and your "friend" in fat acceptance. They are all the same type people. Mentally unbalanced, sociopaths / psychopaths that appear intelligent. Therefore, their arguments MUST be correct as they use big words and are passionate in their delivery. We all know from history that these charismatic preachers are nothing but suicidal, delusional, mentally disturbed people who need an audience to hold them up. The end result is never a good thing. It is best you have found out who she really is before her beliefs had a chance to ruin your life. Cut all ties. Ignore her rantings. Eventually this prophet of fat acceptance will find another way to spout her message to any naïve person who too is struggling with their weight issues. It is sad these people exist in the world, but they do. You just must find your own way without their insanity.

good call roo! i agree. i was married to a sociopath for 9 years (i am not using hyperbole here). narcissism and borderline personality disorder are closely related personality disorders. i can spot their manipulations, projections and self focus a mile away. but most people don't understand the whole personality disorder thing. so i usually dont bring it up. but yes, i thought that from the very first paragraph.

this website focuses on romantic relationships with sociopaths, but the principals in this little article apply here too. http://www.lovefraud.com/are-you-a-target/leaving-a-sociopath/no-contact/

[Roo101769 742]

I have a daughter with someone who fits the classic definition of sociopath so I get it. I also have a nephew who was diagnosed with a general mental health disorder officially, but many thought was actually a sociopath. ( he too fits the definition) So I have come to spot them a bit easier than others may.

[moonlitestarbrite 902]

I have a daughter with someone who fits the classic definition of sociopath so I get it.

thank the gods i never had a child with my first husband. **shudder**

[Natasha Estrada 36]

"Now, personally, my friend was completely oblivious to how her actions could effect me at all. I chalk this up to pure self-centeredness"

Wow she has no idea that the self centeredness she refers to is her own. Why should a decision as big as WLS be based on your friend's feelings. Honestly all these tirades are not about you but about how the change your making is making her feel. There is not a lot you can do about it.

[Dondie Olivia 56]

She smacks of being a sociopath. She is spouting such venom because you are not living your life to her standards. To that I say ppfffffffffffffffffft. You do not need such a negative nelly in your sphere. Let her keep that venom. It also appears she wants to hurt you and get a reaction out of you. I can pretty much guarantee that she is waiting for your reaction. Not responding to her will bother her more than any type of reaction. Never give such people what they expect.

This reminds me of a special on PBS. A group of women with weight problems or not a problem, however you care to classify it, formed their friendships. Some decided to get bypass or wls. One got the lapband. Those that got the surgery were treated differently. Like outcasts. It tested and broke many of the friendships.
Please remember, you did this for you. Who cares what this nasty piece of work posts? I would also care for you to see that she was probably this nasty before and you didn't see it. Now you do. She probably was your worst frienemy. She probably sabotaged things you attempted before.

I say, document your own journey.

We (all of us here) know this isn't easy. It's not simple. It takes hard work and effort. You have new friends here, taking a similar path to yours. Here is compassion and empathy. The surgery is but a first step of many steps on this path. You are not alone and not discouraged here.
You have probably thought long and hard about this. You have worked hard to come this far. Now is the time to enjoy yourself and your new life path.

[parisshel 1,892]

WHOA. What a nutcase.

[greensleeve 457]

good call roo! i agree. i was married to a sociopath for 9 years (i am not using hyperbole here). narcissism and borderline personality disorder are closely related personality disorders. i can spot their manipulations, projections and self focus a mile away. but most people don't understand the whole personality disorder thing. so i usually dont bring it up. but yes, i thought that from the very first paragraph.

this website focuses on romantic relationships with sociopaths, but the principals in this little article apply here too. http://www.lovefraud.com/are-you-a-target/leaving-a-sociopath/no-contact/

That is my ex to a T. Luckily she can just drop her as a friend and she doesn't have to ever see her again. It's incredibly difficult when you have to share your child with such a person.

[greensleeve 457]

thank the gods i never had a child with my first husband. **shudder**

You have NO idea. You are very lucky. I don't regret my daughter but I regret having a child with him.

I think some of the same traits that make us targets for sociopaths are the same traits that lead to us becoming fat.

[moonlitestarbrite 902]

You have NO idea. You are very lucky. I don't regret my daughter but I regret having a child with him.

I think some of the same traits that make us targets for sociopaths are the same traits that lead to us becoming fat.

i have some idea. i raised his child from the age of 3 until she was 13. 7 of those years was full time. when i finally got heathy enough to leave him he took his daughter away and i never saw her again. that was 15 years ago. i recently reconnected with her on Facebook but still have not met up with her in person, she is still too wary cause her father is still a big part of her life and has filled her head with lies about what really happened and what kind of person i am. but no, i didnt have my own child with him, that would have been even more devastating if i had to deal with him for the last 15 years. at least he's been gone from my life, even if he did take my stepdaughter too.

[playlikeworldchamps 595]

Yes, she weighs well over 300 lbs and is morbidly obese. She thinks she's healthy though since she eats vegan.

Congratulations on that 300 pound loss. May you never find those pounds again.

[greensleeve 457]

i have some idea. i raised his child from the age of 3 until she was 13. 7 of those years was full time. when i finally got heathy enough to leave him he took his daughter away and i never saw her again. that was 15 years ago. i recently reconnected with her on Facebook but still have not met up with her in person, she is still too wary cause her father is still a big part of her life and has filled her head with lies about what really happened and what kind of person i am. but no, i didnt have my own child with him, that would have been even more devastating if i had to deal with him for the last 15 years. at least he's been gone from my life, even if he did take my stepdaughter too.

I'm sorry. They always find a way to lie without regret to get people on their side.

[BSU 61]

I do not think it is jealousy. This person has built up a world view where being fat is alright and perfectly healthy. I agree it is alright, However, it is not healthy. She is seeing your choice to improve your health and quality of life as a criticism of her choice to remain fat. It threatens her. It challenges her happy bubble.

It looks like there is nothing you can do but remain fat with her or move on.

[Kitt3000 757]

Words to live by....

[moonlitestarbrite 902]

i love that.

[Randomicicle 1]

I just created an account only to say this: block her out. Please. And all others who believe she is right to that entitlement. Cosmetic surgery or not (inho, it's more of a health issue), you need people who will support you in this and through the whole process, not people who'll drag you down and make you feel guilty for taking this natter in your own hands. Bring positivity and support, and stop reading whatever toxicity she brings in. Please. That's not a friend. Friends look out for each other and love each other no matter what, ESPECIALLY during hard times and life altering decisions like this.

You go, girl! Proud of you already