Ex-Friend Keeps Writing Negatively About Me on Different Blogs and Web Sites

[mrsto 2,925]

As they say "misery loves company". When you decided to get healthy, she no longer wanted your "company".

It's very clear to everyone outside of the situation, that she is a mentally unstable woman. She clearly feels that friends are disposable, and if they don't feel the same as her on every single level, she discards them. I know this is easier said than done, but walk away and try to let it go. Stop reading her blogs and move on with your life. You made an excellent choice to get healthy, and should focus on the positive things ahead. In time, when you look back, hopefully you will see her and the whole "fat acceptance" thing for what it really was. I do not believe in a "fat acceptance movement", even though I've struggled with obesity my entire life. I never accepted it, and never felt good living in my own body. Aside from appearance, it's unhealthy and dangerous to carry around all that extra weight. Your ex-friend can call it what she wants, but anyone who has to drop friendships because their feelings don't mirror her own, is a pretty sick cookie. Move on with your life and find new friends that accept you for ALL that your are.

[kll724 3,055]

Look honey, don't just walk away, run fast! She is dangerous to your well being! Sharon C. I agree with ladykatie above! We will all be your friend. Never fear and never turn back to the woman who is causing you so much pain!

[Scylla 106]

Oh Sharon.... *hugs*

You definitely don't need that kind of negativity in your life. It sounds to me like your former friend is jealous of you (or in serious denial about her own situation). In any case, she sounds like she needs to see a psychiatrist and potentially get some meds, STAT!

It sounds to me that she is posting various places about what happened with your friendship in search of validation of her crazy actions.

It sucks to lose a longtime friend, but you've decided to make this wonderful change for yourself and your health and that is what's important. Surround yourself with positive, supportive people.

Edited June 12, 2014 by Scylla

[moonlitestarbrite 902]

I was thinking cease and desist letter too but does she really have a legal leg to stand on? I am not sure the 'friend' actually named her did she? Can give it a shot anyway - might shut her up.

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i would not engage her. obviously she craves and lives on attention. the OP needs to move past this and the best way to do that is to walk away. pretend this woman doesnt exist anymore. engaging her further will just give her more fodder for her "blog." and prolong her pain over this woman's horrible behavior.

[Jersrose43 837]

Sorry. I am going against the grain here. Can't throw stones at her about talking about you if you come on here and repost what she's saying. You're both causing each other pain. Either let it go and move on. Or keep posting about her and what she says. Reinforcing her message. After you stop posting about her- and I mean permanently - and she continues - document when you last posted and copy all her posts to paper. Take it to a lawyer and send her a cease and desist letter and if she continues sue her. If you continue to post about her you have no leg to stand on

Edited June 12, 2014 by Jersrose43

[cutiepieinchi 158]

I would love to have you as a friend!

Lady you do not need that negetavity in your life. I recently had to let go of some close friends due to surgery. Ill be your friend too!!

[par1959 470]

This topic is still on going. The solution if obvious dump the friend and never look back.

[mrshawk92 20]

boy.....somebody really thinks highly of their self importance in this world, don't they?????? sharon.....this woman has issues.....real issues! let it sink in for a moment the real crux of her issue. she is pissed becuase of how you were so inconsiderate as to make a decision of what to do with your OWN body without thinking about how it would AFFECT her! YEESH!!!! personally, i would tell her to f#*k off without an ounce of guilt. it never ceases to amaze me how someone always manages to surprise me with new lows of scrapping the bottom of the barrel of human selfishness and narcissism. i would like to be your friend too! and we are somewhat neighbors....virginia, here!

[greensleeve 457]

The claws come out over WLS.

So my crazy ex found out I was posting here and he used information I posted to send an email to my employer stating that I was using drugs and all this other BS. He told my employer about my surgery and put my user name here in the email.

He pretended to be a coworker of mine.

So long story short, after consulting lawyers...if she doesn't name you or specifically target you there isn't much you can do legally.

She hasn't said anything that is a lie either. Its a matter of her opinoin.

In my case libel isn't going to be pursued but I have other legal things I'm doing. He's probably reading this so I won't say what.

I think people just don't want to see other people be happy, especially people who are over weight, out of shape, addicted and don't take care of themselves mentally or physically. They want you to stay just like them to make themselves feel better.

It's a shame that people have nothing better to do with their lives. I've heard that abusers will only let go once they truly have their hooks in a new relationship and can get their narcissistic supply from the new person.

Eventually she will find a new target. I thought my ex had a new target but I guess she's just not giving him the hate rush he needs.

I say let it go. I wouldn't be surprised if years from now when her joints ache and she has high BP and her heart is tired, she gets surgery too.

Edited June 12, 2014 by greensleeve

[JerseyCityGal 231]

I'm more than slightly amazed that you haven't disclosed your friends multiple mental illnesses and that you continue to try and make it appear that a perfectly normal person turned ariound and did this without warning. You knew what your friends rigid belief structure and mental state was. She's battling multiple serious mental illnesses and you know darn well this affects her behavior.

Perhaps your "friend" wouldn't still be going on about this if you hadn't directed hundreds of people to her blog weeks ago hoping they would back you up 8th grade style.

Just a thought. Perhaps your "friend" would eventually forget about this and move on if you didn't keep posting every word she says on various web sites.

You keep doing what you want, but poking someone who is mentally ill with a stick so you can get sympathy is pretty low. Shame on you.

When this thread finally runs out of steam and sympathy and another pops up on another board in a few weeks, I won't say anything. I'm done. I wish you the best.

[moonlitestarbrite 902]

greensleeves, your ex sounds pretty crazy too!

[bflblog 31]

It's funny to me because she is such a hypocrite. She speaks of hating intolerance (homophobes, sexist etc). However, does she not realize that she is being intolerant by acting like this? In my opinion WLS is a lifestyle choice. You are doing it for your personal reasons. If she doesn't agree with it, then that is fine, but ending a friendship over it is intolerant. It's just as bad as ending a friendship because you decide to date outside of your race, or date someone of the same sex, or choose a religion she doesn't agree with.

You don't need hypocrisy or intolerance in your life right now. You need positive people. You are better off without her. My guess is that it's either due to jealousy, or it's a way to cause drama and gives her something to blog about.

[moonlitestarbrite 902]

It's funny to me because she is such a hypocrite. She speaks of hating intolerance (homophobes, sexist etc). However, does she not realize that she is being intolerant by acting like this? In my opinion WLS is a lifestyle choice.

thats how you know its a projection. thats why its all about her. thats how you can tell she's a very messed up person the OP should run, not walk, away from as fast as possible!

[CowgirlJane 14,261]

She is the self centered one....just back away.

[greensleeve 457]

greensleeves, your ex sounds pretty crazy too!

That's the truth.