Do you miss anything about being Fat? (You're Old Body)

[HalloweenBaby24 447]

@@Pugmadkate

Thank you for bringing up being "Fat Positive" being a confident fat girl myself that has spent the last 5 years of my life surrounding myself with body positive messages and friends, and working towards a body acceptance movement of our own I've found love in myself. I've spent the last years being told that there's nothing wrong with me, I'm just fat and So what?!.

So I guess sometimes I feel like there is a conflicts of interest, but I know in my heart that for my own health (and if I love myself that much) and well being this is right for me and my family in the long run. Just because I'm young and not suffering with complications yet doesn't mean it's not possible later down the line, and I don't want to get to that point.

[Pugmadkate 61]

I think becoming "fat positive" and learning to love yourself "as is" actually sets us up for success with WLS. We're not going into this thinking that being fat is the root of all our problems or believing we'll just automatically love ourselves when we get down to a certain weight.

I do believe in health at any size, I just know that my genetic road map does not bode well for continued good health at my current weight. So, June 17th I'm having WLS but I'm going to incorporate all the self-love and self-care I've learned as an obese woman into my journey. At 44, it's scary to kind of "start over" but here I go!

[HalloweenBaby24 447]

@@Pugmadkate Good luck to you!

It's never too late, I hope to see more updates for you in the future!

[is it just me 80]

@@Pugmadkate Thank you for bringing up being "Fat Positive" being a confident fat girl myself that has spent the last 5 years of my life surrounding myself with body positive messages and friends, and working towards a body acceptance movement of our own I've found love in myself. I've spent the last years being told that there's nothing wrong with me, I'm just fat and So what?!. So I guess sometimes I feel like there is a conflicts of interest, but I know in my heart that for my own health (and if I love myself that much) and well being this is right for me and my family in the long run. Just because I'm young and not suffering with complications yet doesn't mean it's not possible later down the line, and I don't want to get to that point.

I can kind of relate to u... I was a confident big girl...... I never had an issue with my weight until I hurt my back and needed surgery.... I decided to have to surgery to help with pain..... So with that being said, yes I do miss eating....... I hate when we have a family party and I can only eat a few things... But I want to try them all.......... But I can honestly say before the surgery until now which is 6 months later I feel totally different about myself......... I told myself pre surgery I didn't care how much I lose cause I still know I'm pretty but now that I'm losing, I LOVE THIS NEW BODY...... I never thought being smaller would feel like this............... I loved shopping when I was big but shopping now is 10x better......

[angie0187 24]

I was sleeved on May 14th ... I love being me at every event I'm smiling I'm laughing and I am making sure the person next to me is doing the same. I love my friends and family of course some things are often said behind my back about me and my weight but I have never let it bother me. I am a fighter so most words don't come my way. I will miss how honest people are with me how guys don't breathe down my neck and chase me around the club. I will miss how meeting someone for first time was never awkward.

I have always had friends smaller than me and I've seen how they have had to chase off people or people asking them for dates instead of business during meetings ... I have always been the gladiator to protect my girls when we are out.

But I have also felt the hurt that comes with my size a good friend and president of a major company told me this " you could be the smartest person in the room have all the credentials but if you don't look the part you will never succeed in our worlds version of the NORM" I believe that with all my heart why I have not gotten some of the jobs ... I'm always called for a interview but once I walk into the room I loose eye contact ... And I am truly making this change because first I want a family and every doctor says weight is the issue and second because I want someone to make eye contact with me.

Sorry I tend to ramble but that's how I feel

[MichiganChic 3,262]

Hell to the NO, I do not miss being fat. I have loved every pound lost. I was a bit of an oxymoron - I was confident and successful, and I knew my value, but I still had self -loathing because of the limitations imposed by my weight. I felt like I might not be reaching my full potential in so many ways, either because I didn't do things/go places because my weight held me back, or I wouldn't be given opportunities I could actually do because others discriminated against me for my weight.

Having said that, I really like the article the OP provided. I tend to agree, being in that body made me a much better person. I am kinder, not judgmental, and more understanding than I ever would have been! I am so grateful for the gift I have, but I do wish I hadn't spent my entire adult life (and the youth of my children's lives) being morbidly obese. But since I can't change that, I think it makes me appreciate what I have so much more, and I know how temper confidence with humility, which is a skill I might not have otherwise had.

[RJ'S/beginning 5,358]

I miss the insults

kids pointing at me

Having issues with Migraines and lower back pain

I miss not being able to hug my grand daughter tight to me

Playing with her outside

I miss not being able to sit at my computer all day long because I could not stand for more then ten minutes

I miss it when my hubby had to ask for the extender on the airplane because I could not fit in the seat belt

I miss going to the hospital and them calling ahead for the extra wide wheel chair

I miss the brown hospital gowns that I had to wear because they were made for people like me.

I miss the medical profession treating me like I was dirt under their feet.

I miss men stopping their cars in front of my house to watch me waddle around my yard and then going home to tell their wives they can't believe I would have the nerve to leave my house.

I miss 8 men who had to carry me in an ambulance because I was in a car accident and I looked over at another person who has 2 carrying him

I miss everyone always assuming that I have diabetes or high blood pressure

I miss the fear in my families faces when they saw my health going farther and farther down.

I miss thinking I should end it all because I could not see my way out of it all.

I miss having my hubby scout out restaurants to see if there was a table I would be able to sit at.

I miss the acrobats I had to invent to wipe my arse

On and on and on we go..Where it would have stopped no body knows!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I could go on and on..And if anyone believes I miss any of this then I have some ocean front property in Arizona for sale...Not to mention the Brooklyn Bridge....

[devint 162]

I'm still pre-op 1 week out. My biggest concerns from talking to others and watching my husband (he's 90lbs down from 10/23/13 VSG on our anniversary) are 1. addiction transfer and 2. not knowing how to respond to sexual attention from others. Both of them come down to the fact that my weight and eating have acted as a barrier, emotionally keeping people at a distance and me feeling safe. With the weight loss, I'm going to have to step out of my comfort zone big time, work on emotionally maturing and seek support from others to make sure I don't develop other unhealthy habits and reactions to compensate/fill the void.

Good luck on your journey and see you on the losers bench!

[CowgirlJane 14,261]

RJ- your post touched me; really detailing the many obstacles that the morbidly obese may face in life. It is sad, but now there is hope!

I want to comment on the "fat positive" mindset - I think it is a great one. I also want to say that losing weight is primarily for your health that YOU GET TO CHOSE how far you take this. Once I got under 200# I had resolved most of my health issues and I was still a woman of physical substance. It was a conscious decision to push forward and get down to a "normal" weight. I think it takes some of the fear away of losing your "physical presence" when you realize it is your choice. The sleeve can help you get to your goal, but it is YOUR GOAL not some arbitrary chart.

[shahada 82]

@@HalloweenBaby24 A good question to ask for sure ... I'm still very new post-op, but 2 year ago I was at goal weight and I remember how amazing I felt then. I did not miss being fat for a moment, but looking back, I wish I had been in therapy to help me cope with the unexpected things (more attention from men and how to deal with that, realizing my identity was more than what the world physically saw, and how to define myself past my size). I'm in therapy this time around and I already feel more confident facing the issues.

I too am young and did not go into surgery because I was facing myriad health issues; I went into surgery knowing I could stave off those health issues and future pain. I didn't have a problem with the conveniences mentioned above, but I guarantee that is only because I'm young! Why wait until I'm older and struggling?

I am very familiar with the body positive movement (one of my favorite blogs is themilitantbaker.com). I agree that the message from the body positive movement can and must continue post surgery/weight loss. We can be fat and confident just as much as we can be healthy and confident Good luck along your journey!

[HalloweenBaby24 447]

@@shahada

A fan of TheMilitantbaker!, I love her!.

Thanks for the positive feedback.

I will take everyone's experiences, words of wisdom and reminders on this journey with me.

I have not yet reached the struggles of many, but it's good to hear they exist and knowing what I know about myself I know if action isn't taken soon I someday will be in the same situation. Thank you all for your input!

[Time4Kindness 48]

I was thin most of my life and just started being overweight in my early 40s, (im 45 now), And comeing from both sides as far as thin and FAT--- I can say I prefer thinner, because I can shop for clothes a lot easier and paint my toe nails easier, not sweat as I try on clothes for heavy people, and be just plain as day--- Healthier! Ugh I cannot wait to lose my weight and be happier and healthier

Edited May 23, 2014 by anitasdream

[SliminDownThick 69]

I don't miss shopping in the tiny plus sized section of the store that was mostly old lady clothes. I don't miss my thighs chaffing together. I don't miss the boob sweat or underboob rash. I don't miss huffing and puffing on family walks. I don't miss being the fat mom at every event. I don't miss the dread of running into someone I've not seen in years cuz I'd gained so much weight. I don't miss having to have every hair in place and makeup done every time I left the house because I didn't want to be the sloppy fat lady. I don't miss sweating uncontrollably doing every day tasks. I don't miss feeling cramped in a bathroom stall, turning sideways going down an aisle or squeezing past people and still bumping them. I don't miss having to request a table over a booth or if one was not available, squeezing in, belly and boobs resting against the table. I don't miss being unable to paint my own toenails and breathing at the same time. I don't miss wearing all black all the time cuz no one would be able to tell that I was fat if I did that. (Eye roll) I don't miss making excuses to get out of doing stuff because being so fat made me so tired... I could go on forever. Nope. I don't miss a thing.

Love all this!!!!!

[kimba6999 125]

I too am soooo happy i had the surgery. I am mid journey being only 5 months post but with 95lbs gone i am a whole new person and its only going to get better. Do i miss the old me? No way. I see my before pic and i cant believe i ever let myself get that way. I have 4 kids and I havd been fat since i had my first child. I was big for almost 25 yrs and all i ever did was watch life happening around me. Now i am part of that life. I can now walk thru the grocery store and not feel like sleeping when i get home and i can go up and down stairs without pulling myself up with the rail or having to stop midway to breathe. I still have 84 lbs to go but i cant believe i didnt do it sooner. Honestly i do miss going to buffets and eating homemade Cookies when i bake for the kids. But it has been so worth it. Like everybody else, there will always be things we miss but there are always compromises to get the things we want. Please seriously consider what you really want before you do it. This isnt something u can just quit if you dont like it. I will never regret my decision and i know that once i get my goal weight and hit maintenance there will be times when i can indulge a little and be naughty. Just remember to portion and work it off in the gym. Good luck to you.

[LynnRinKY 15]

I'm just about to get a surgery date so I can't speak to regret...yet, but I do know what it's like to over research and over think things (I'm a damn psychologist- occupational hazard). What helped me was making what I called my "skinny list". I guess you could see it as similar to a pro's list. It has things like, "Fly on an airplane without the embarrassment of having to ask for a seatbelt extender or see the horror in the eyes of people walking down the aisle when they see you and momentarily fear they may have to sit next to you." and "Walk into a store, any store, and randomly buy something off the first rack I see just because I can..without having to go to a special fat person's store." Find what will inspire you!