Jump to content
×
Are you looking for the BariatricPal Store? Go now!

I got my surgery date and my love is leaving me



Recommended Posts

Hi everyone , I am starting my 2 week pre op diet on the 16th and I just found out my seven year relationship is probably coming to an end. She wants someone else . I don't know what's happening and she has no answers except she doesn't know what she wants and she's confused . Now I have to go through this alone and I don't think I'm strong enough to do it . I can't eat or sleep and the only thing that numbs the pain is liquor . I am second guessing even having this surgery now . Has this happened to others ?

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Don't ever make someone tell you twice they don't want you- Judge Lynn Toler?...the way I see it, this is a new beginning for you all the way around...the drinking needs to stop and pull yourself together before surgery. Start exercising and feeling good about yourself, there are more than one fish in the sea!

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

I know that's what I need to do but it's so hard . We have a lease together a life .. I don't know how it's going to play out but I guess your right that she's already told me she doesn't want me when she got into a relationship with someone else . Ugh it hurts . Maybe exercise is exactly what I need - I'll give it a try - maybe I can get out some aggression

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

I'm so sorry to hear. But don't think your not strong enough do the surgery. You'll feel better about yourself at the end this is for you! Your ex seeing you at your best will be the biggest FU! Stay strong do what u got to do stop the drinking now it's not to late don't let this opportunity slip away! Good luck! Hugs

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

My daughter had a partner who ditched her the same week her cat of 14 years died. She was really down in the dumps until a friend suggested that she join up with the roller derby crowd. What a great way to get out agression and get exercise at the same time. Yeah, being abandonned hurts...badly....but at least there is a new way to keep her mind occupied and her feelings in check.

If not now, this may have happened sooner or later. Whatever the dynamic of a partnership is, weight loss surgery changes relationships as well as bodies. This surgery still needs to be about you and improving your health. One thing that happens unexpectedly is that when we go through the physical changes, we find the "real" us that has been hiding behind years of fear, shame, and loss.

I hope that you still will have at least one person (parent, sibling, friend) that can be your support through the medical process. Then you can hope that on the other side you will find a new life that enhances who you really are. Please do not give alcohol any power over your health and happiness.

Here is a quote from Johann Wolfgang von Goethe. Hopefully it will give you the courage you need to follow through with your surgery and begin your new life.

"Whatever you can do, or dream you can.............BEGIN IT! For boldness has genius, power, and magic in it."

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Don't ever make someone tell you twice they don't want you- Judge Lynn Toler?...the way I see it, this is a new beginning for you all the way around...the drinking needs to stop and pull yourself together before surgery. Start exercising and feeling good about yourself, there are more than one fish in the sea!

You are so right .This a new beginning for you, when one door closes another one open.Don't let anyone take your joy .

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

You are right . It probably should have happened long ago but love has always brought us through the rough Patches ! I need to focus on me that's why I'm having the surgery any way - the timing is horrible but then again what time wouldn't be ? Roller Durby would be fun and great exercise !

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Sorry to hear this…but this is you're time to think about u…focus on U….this too shall pass….

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Create an account or sign in to comment

You need to be a member in order to leave a comment

Create an account

Sign up for a new account in our community. It's easy!

Register a new account

Sign in

Already have an account? Sign in here.

Sign In Now

  • Trending Products

  • Trending Topics

  • Recent Status Updates

    • Alisa_S

      On day 4 of the 2 week liquid pre-op diet. Surgery scheduled for June 11th.
      Soooo I am coming to a realization
      of something and I'm not sure what to do about it. For years the only thing I've enjoyed is eating. We rarely do anything or go anywhere and if we do it always includes food. Family comes over? Big family dinner! Go camping? Food! Take a short ride or trip? Food! Holiday? Food! Go out of town for a Dr appointment? Food! When we go to a new town we don't look for any attractions, we look for restaurants we haven't been to. Heck, I look forward to getting off work because that means it's almost supper time. Now that I'm drinking these pre-op shakes for breakfast, lunch, and supper I have nothing to look forward to.  And once I have surgery on June 11th it'll be more of the same shakes. Even after pureed stage, soft food stage, and finally regular food stage, it's going to be a drastic change for the rest of my life. I'm giving up the one thing that really brings me joy. Eating. How do you cope with that? What do you do to fill that void? Wow. Now I'm sad.
      · 0 replies
      1. This update has no replies.
    • Alisa_S

      On day 4 of the 2 week liquid pre-op diet. Surgery scheduled for June 11th.
      Soooo I am coming to a realization
      of something and I'm not sure what to do about it. For years the only thing I've enjoyed is eating. We rarely do anything or go anywhere and if we do it always includes food. Family comes over? Big family dinner! Go camping? Food! Take a short ride or trip? Food! Holiday? Food! Go out of town for a Dr appointment? Food! When we go to a new town we don't look for any attractions, we look for restaurants we haven't been to. Heck, I look forward to getting off work because that means it's almost supper time. Now that I'm drinking these pre-op shakes for breakfast, lunch, and supper I have nothing to look forward to.  And once I have surgery on June 11th it'll be more of the same shakes. Even after pureed stage, soft food stage, and finally regular food stage, it's going to be a drastic change for the rest of my life. I'm giving up the one thing that really brings me joy. Eating. How do you cope with that? What do you do to fill that void? Wow. Now I'm sad.
      · 1 reply
      1. summerseeker

        Life as a big person had limited my life to what I knew I could manage to do each day. That was eat. I hadn't anything else to look forward to. So my eating choices were the best I could dream up. I planned the cooking in managable lots in my head and filled my day with and around it.

        Now I have a whole new big, bigger, biggest, best days ever. I am out there with those skinny people doing stuff i could never have dreamt of. Food is now an after thought. It doesn't consume my day. I still enjoy the good home cooked food but I eat smaller portions. I leave food on my plate when I am full. I can no longer hear my mother's voice saying eat it all up, ther are starving children in Africa who would want that!

        I still cook for family feasts, I love cooking. I still do holidays but I have changed from the All inclusive drinking and eating everything everyday kind to Self catering accommodation. This gives me the choice of cooking or eating out as I choose. I rarely drink anymore as I usually travel alone now and I feel I need to keep aware of my surroundings.

        I don't know at what point my life expanded, was it when I lost 100 pounds? Was it when I left my walking stick at home ? Was it when I said yes to an outing instead of finding an excuse to stay home ? i look back at my last five years and wonder how loosing weight has made such a difference. Be ready to amaze yourself.

        BTW, the liquid diet sucks, one more day and you are over the worst. You can do it.

    • CaseyP1011

      Officially here for a long time, not just a good time💪
      · 0 replies
      1. This update has no replies.
    • KimBaxleyWilson

      Three months and four days ago... I was in Costa Rica having a life changing surgery! Yesterday we had a followup visit with Dr. Esmeral via video chat and this morning my middle number changed.  I'm down 47lbs and two pants sizes. I can wear a Large tshirt for the first time in like... 14 years! Woot!! Everything is going great. I have zero regrets. I went down to the riverwalk with a friend and walked 2 miles on Monday without even getting fatigued. And no more snoring or chugging pickle juice for crazy leg cramps! I need to go to the gym more... I'm making new shirts next week so that will motivate me. LOL But I'm also just not as TIRED all the time! I have a LONG way to go...but seeing the progress on the scales and in the mirror is a huge motivator!! Thank you all for cheering me on and supporting me!!
      · 0 replies
      1. This update has no replies.
    • bellaamey

      https://alluniqueguide.com/java-burn-coffee-reviews/
      · 0 replies
      1. This update has no replies.
  • Recent Topics

  • Hot Products

  • Sign Up For
    Our Newsletter

    Follow us for the latest news
    and special product offers!
  • Together, we have lost...
      lbs

    PatchAid Vitamin Patches

    ×