Stop the Whining Over A Few Miserable Days!

[LindafromFlorida 1,542]

At 67 I am no longer allowing myself to be kicked in the arse. I think I would have relished growing up a military brat rather than the timid child of an alcoholic who has found my way. But no matter what, I am kind, caring, and have compassion for everyone. I applaud you RJ. Keep up the good leadership and guidance here.

[honeyg317 107]

I don't know you and I think your attitude is wonderful for now. I am one of those that paid big time for this and still have complications after 17 months.. I wish this on no one' date=' ever. You may think that you have it all sewed up because you are handling things right now, but you don't say that you will just deal with it...I worked my ass off for this sleeve and almost died for it. But I would never make the statement that I would just deal with whatever comes. To be honest. You don't know what will come or what won't because it is your trip, no one else. I think if someone feels pain they have a right to say if they need to. some just need to say it and hear it is okay. No one ever thinks that it will be them that has the real difficulties. I rolled the dice and won the lottery of 14 surgeries, coma and a hell of a lot more. Rant all you want. But for me I Celebrate the easy victories everyone has because no one is really ready for the opposite. not even you hun![/quote'] That's great you survived your hardships. As you said you don't know me. I know from past experiences I can get past anything. I had to fight tooth and nail to get cleared psychologically because of some of the things I experienced while deployed. But I overcame and proved one psych doc wrong and here I am. Doing better than those that got approved right away. Your blues are not mine but I don't throw a pity party. I tell myself that is the past and it will not hinder me. It's what I do next that defines me. So yes I can rant about whiners. It's my right to in this thread. This is the Perfect Place. I don't think some comprehend what I said or that just read whine and get offended. If your going to rant & rave, whine, do it, whatever make you feel better. My POINT is that REGRETTING surgery over a few Expected Temporary symptoms is unnecessary whining. That is bit much. Maybe they weren't really ready for this Serious surgery.

When I am on here my goal is to help, educate and enlighten those who need support in one way or another. I hope that others will help, educate and enlighten me as well. I don't throw a pity party for myself and never have. If I did I would not have made it..OKAY! Taking my experience and putting it into a pretty little blues package was very hard of you. Just because you are military does not give you the right to be a Drill Sargent on here. I am happy that you can stick it out and will push aside anything that might get in your way. That is a great attitude. But not everyone is as strong as you. Are they not allowed to express how they feel as you are allowed. Stepping up to the plate will be a fine example if you endure any hardships over your decision to have WLS. But until you do....Anytime now or in the future, you cannot guarantee that you will handle it perfectly just because you were taught to endure...Life has a way of kicking us in the arse when we think we have it all together and humbles us once again.. If someone wants to tell me on here that they are having trouble even with the first issues of WLS. I will chose to either reply or pass over it. You can do the same!

Thank you for this. I couldn't believe what I'm reading. We are all dealing the way we can.

Edited April 10, 2014 by honeyg317

[rayanne 283]

Wow people its her thread if u don't like it don't reply her opinion is hers not yours if u want someone to be all rainbows and unicorns then why are u here title is rants and raves not the world is perfect....

[LindafromFlorida 1,542]

Wow people its her thread if u don't like it don't reply her opinion is hers not yours if u want someone to be all rainbows and unicorns then why are u here title is rants and raves not the world is perfect....

Rayanne, lighten up. It is a post, and posts are open for replies. We all get the world is not perfect. Smile, the sun will come out tomorrow. Life will go on.

[Seela 1,187]

This is a tough one because I agree with ALL posters. I don't want to belittle anyone who is struggling in the days and weeks post op. BUT. .. while I did whine a little in post op I knew that my ailments were normal and temporary and it never even crossed my mind to regret my decision. I'll leave the regret for people that have complications or life altering problems. Normal post op suckyness is definitely something to reach out for support for but not something to declare your regret about. I wanted to start a rant about this myself but I didn't know how to say it without coming off as a cold hearted bitch-. I think the posts from people declaring their major regret when they are experiencing a normal post op is detrimental to people seeking information on wls. That being said, I truly hope their post op misery is short lived and I will always do what I can to ease their fears

[LipstickLady 25,682]

In turn, if one doesn't want to be supportive on a forum *that is here as a means of support*, maybe one should skip the threads that consist of said "whining".

It's called having compassion. You (general plural) don't know everyone's story. We are all unique individuals leading very different lives with different experiences and different journeys. No one has the right to make someone feel bad for coming here and sharing how they feel.

I've been around long enough that those who come here to "whine" about their regrets usually come back in a few weeks and give wonderful updates. Thank goodness they had this safe place to share their feelings. That is the purpose of this board, isn't it?

Edited April 10, 2014 by LipstickLady

[rayanne 283]

Lol likewise she should be able to tell her feelings and not have everyone jump all over her..... yes we all deal with things in our lives and heck yes some of us can deal with more them other....but just as some feel like they need there hands held throughout there journey others such as myself need to pull strength from within to get through it to each there own. I have no regrets in my life everything happened exactly as god planned I have raised three adult sons, been with my hubby over 21 years, all while being overweight...life is what u make it....make excuses and u will continue watching life pass u by or just set your mind and don't look back..no one will be there to keep u from eating too much, or eating slider foods but u so get your mind straight and just do it!!!!

[LipstickLady 25,682]

There's a big difference between talking about your own feelings and putting down the feelings of others, don't you think?

[RJ'S/beginning 5,357]

What gets me is that patients on here who are timid and do not know what is exactly happening to them and their nerves give in to fear. Because that happens to all of us during these changes in our lives. If we belittle their comments and fears why would they ever want to come back on here and get the help they need from those who have experienced what they are going through. Going through this a lone is a horrible thing and that is what this forum is for to help.....guide and encourage. Doing it by your own examples of your experience...

Who on here can not say that even in the beginnings of this hike through this change that we were not a little scared or frightened that we may not have second guessed ourselves and hoped that some one would just say it's okay...Your on track..Work through it. It happened to me.

Repeated questions are part of this forum...I just worry about the ones that are scared off by a harsh opinion of their feelings...I know I would not want to experience it..I would want help. that's what we are here for. I understand the OP reasons for posting this thread I just don't agree with it..

So I will agree to disagree and go on. I have said my 2 cents worth and that is that!

Edited April 10, 2014 by RJ'S/beginning

[honeyg317 107]

Wow people its her thread if u don't like it don't reply her opinion is hers not yours if u want someone to be all rainbows and unicorns then why are u here title is rants and raves not the world is perfect....

I wasn't aware that we had to all agree or get permission to respond to posts. We are all equally important on this forum. Believe me I'm pretty sure people posting on a bariatric forum are aware that the world is not perfect.

[Seela 1,187]

Another thing to consider, and I have experienced this first hand, is that sometimes a written post can come off in a way you don't intend. If I'm not in a "compassionate" mood, I just stay away from those threads and roll my eyes... I usually find myself venturing back to offer whatever support I can, because I've been there. I said earlier that I thought about starting this thread, but thought better of it and ultimately just decided to offer comfort to a regretful newbie. That ended up comforting me probably more than the person I was trying to help. And remember, there might come a time when you have a concern that others roll their eyes at... You'll still want their support

[Seela 1,187]

What gets me is that patients on here who are timid and do not know what is exactly happening to them and their nerves give in to fear. Because that happens to all of us during these changes in our lives. If we belittle their comments and fears why would they ever want to come back on here and get the help they need from those who have experienced what they are going through. Going through this a lone is a horrible thing and that is what this forum is for to help.....guide and encourage. Doing it by your own examples of your experience...

Who on here can not say that even in the beginnings of this hike through this change that we were not a little scared or frightened that we may not have second guessed ourselves and hoped that some one would just say it's okay...Your on track..Work through it. It happened to me.

Repeated questions are part of this forum...I just worry about the ones that are scared off by a harsh opinion of their feelings...I know I would not want to experience it..I would want help. that's what we are here for. I understand the OP reasons for posting this thread I just don't agree with it..

So I will agree to disagree and go on. I have said my 2 cents worth and that is that!

I just love love you!

[LindafromFlorida 1,542]

We really have a warm and compassionate group of STRONG women here and I would not have it any other day.

[TheOldMeAgain 128]

When I am on here my goal is to help, educate and enlighten those who need support in one way or another. I hope that others will help, educate and enlighten me as well. I don't throw a pity party for myself and never have. If I did I would not have made it..OKAY! Taking my experience and putting it into a pretty little blues package was very hard of you. Just because you are military does not give you the right to be a Drill Sargent on here. I am happy that you can stick it out and will push aside anything that might get in your way. That is a great attitude. But not everyone is as strong as you. Are they not allowed to express how they feel as you are allowed. Stepping up to the plate will be a fine example if you endure any hardships over your decision to have WLS. But until you do....Anytime now or in the future, you cannot guarantee that you will handle it perfectly just because you were taught to endure...Life has a way of kicking us in the arse when we think we have it all together and humbles us once again.. If someone wants to tell me on here that they are having trouble even with the first issues of WLS. I will chose to either reply or pass over it. You can do the same!

Your taking a stranger comment to personal. My comment about throwing a pity party was not aimed at you directly. If it hit a sore spot with you that's not my fault.

Once again, your too invested in my statement. I don't know your story, beside what you wrote, to wrap it in anything. I acknowledged that you went through hardships and I was sorry to hear that. Then I went right back to the topic and why I felt the way I did. This after all is MY thread.

Me a drill sergeant? I've bet you never met one. I'm Mother Teresa in comparison. As for acting like a drill sergeant on here, I have every RIGHT to be on this particular sub-forum. It's call RANTS. You can look over all my posts. I bet you won't find one with me being hard, rude or self- righteous with anyone.

Of course everyone is allowed to express how they feel. Including myself. No we can't Always predict how we will react to certain events but Past Behavior have a Tendency to Predict Future Behavior.

After I read those threads I don't reply to them. Too bad the subject line don't read "Regret Surgery After Vomiting A Few Times". That way I can pass them over.

[TheOldMeAgain 128]

Wow people its her thread if u don't like it don't reply her opinion is hers not yours if u want someone to be all rainbows and unicorns then why are u here title is rants and raves not the world is perfect....

Yes you would think I was talking to them personally. Maybe they don't know what section they're in.