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@@covatila84 own your decision. If someone says that, respond that yes you did. It's okay to have WLS and you felt it enough to have it. The words out now so all you can do it own it. :)

I want to be able to say that, I do...but I just can't! I feel like everything I did was a failure and I know I shouldn't worry about what people think, but I do! I hate that people will think it's the "easy" way out. But really, the friends that I have told have been nothing but supportive.

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I am someone who put it "all out there" . I would rather tell people than have them guessing or speculating about me. I feel this was the right solution for me because I do work with a "true "mean girls" clique who love nothing more than to belittle others. I left them no room to gossip about me.

I definitely do not preach or push my choice on any other people, but I don't want to be the topic of conversation when I'm not around , either. 3 coworkers had asked me about my experiences and are also interested pursuing WLS . I'm glad I can help, if it had been a secret, I'm not sure how much help I would have been.

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Oh, there'd only be one way to go for me on this one...

Humour.

In response to the question about excess skin, I'd get REALLY over-excited about it. I'd emphatically and conspiratorially touch her arm, leaning close to her face whilst giving a 'howl-at-the-moon-mad' maniacal grin and state in hushed determined tones:

Oh, I know, it's going to be BRILLIANT! I'm going to harvest as much as I can and have the whole thing cut off and transferred to my butt. Why? Because, and I don't know whether you knew, <looking to the left and the right> but I only had the bariatric surgery done in order to emulate my most favourite person in the world...

Kim Kardashian' :blink: <adding an extra sigh of hushed reverence>

At which point, I would produce a laminated picture of the following, press it into her hands and say whilst borderline shrieking

'I'll look amazing, WONT I?!!!!!'

post-181494-0-69896200-1396636804_thumb.jpg

Then I'd skip off into a different room leaving them dumbfounded....

(I know, I need mental help, but if you can't beat them - join them! :D)

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I want to be able to say that, I do...but I just can't! I feel like everything I did was a failure and I know I shouldn't worry about what people think, but I do! I hate that people will think it's the "easy" way out. But really, the friends that I have told have been nothing but supportive.

This statement really intrigues me. You have already assigned shame to your medical treatment by admitting to having been embarrassed for having the surgery. You seem to be the one who thinks its the easy way out. I suspect, like me, you sometimes feel like a fraud and are afraid other people will discover it. So here is my question, to you, me and others feeling the same. How much do you have to struggle in order to consider yourself worthy of success? How much suffering entitles you to a quality life? When will you start standing up to yourself? Why do you measure your own success by the level of difficulty exerted in order to achieve it? Now I have to blog all night. Lol.

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This statement really intrigues me. You have already assigned shame to your medical treatment by admitting to having been embarrassed for having the surgery. You seem to be the one who thinks its the easy way out. I suspect, like me, you sometimes feel like a fraud and are afraid other people will discover it. So here is my question, to you, me and others feeling the same. How much do you have to struggle in order to consider yourself worthy of success? How much suffering entitles you to a quality life? When will you start standing up to yourself? Why do you measure your own success by the level of difficulty exerted in order to achieve it? Now I have to blog all night. Lol.

yup. truth.

no one makes us feel inferior without our consent.

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Very interesting subject. .haven't told anyone besides my parents, hubby, 2 sisters. Parents and sisters don't agree with my decision. Husband say he's behind me 100% supportive. .friends and coworkers. .HECK no I didn't tell them. Don't know what I will say when I return to work 4wks after surgery. I think people hate when others make changes. My family are used to me being heavy..my 2 sisters are dieting and exercising. .to lose weight and they are. 143 &171lbs. And they feel fat and they feel they need to lose weight. .how the HECK they think I feel. .I'm 243lbs. .and they think I'm not big enough for wls..I going to feel strange when I get smaller. .so I can't even imagine how people will see me smaller in the next few months. Wish I could just move away and start a new life somewhere else that no one knows me..lol

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You are absolutely right and it's nothing I haven't already tried to tell myself! I don't know why I'm so worried what other people will think because the people that I told are the people that support me 100%. And if people find out and don't support me, why do I care?! I don't know... I don't know why I care about what people think when they don't care about me in the first place and just want to gossip.

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I agree that the rudeness of others is just to mask their jealousy. I have made no secret of my surgery to friends, family, even my kids teachers know. Most people want to know what surgeon I used but I do get those questions about the extra skin, I just tell them that is what we have tummy tucks for, if I need it later I will get one, with my boob lift, LOL

Keep up the good work and just keep making them jealous!

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yup. truth.

no one makes us feel inferior without our consent.

http://thescrambledalchemist.blog.com

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    • Doughgurl

      2 days until I fly out to San Diego to have my Bypass Surg. in Tiajuana Mexico. Not gonna lie, the nerves are starting to surface. I don't fear the surgery itself, or the fact that I'm traveling alone, but its the aftermath that I'm stressing about the most, after this 8 week wait. I'm excited to finally be here, but I am really dreading the post surgical chapter. I know its going to be tough, real tough and I think I'm just in my head to much now that the day i here. Wish me luck, Hopefully I'm one of the lucky ones, and everything goes smoothly. Cant wait to give an exciting update,. If there is anyone else have a June bypass or even a recent one, Id love to have someone to compare war stories with. Also, anyone near San Antonio Tx? See ya soon with the future me. 💜
      · 1 reply
      1. Phil Penn

        Good Luck this procedure is well worth it I am down to 249.6 lb please continue with the process..

    • LeighaTR

      I am new here today... and only two weeks out from my sleeve surgery on the 23rd. I am amazed I have kept my calories down to 467 today so far... that leaves me almost 750 left for dinner and maybe a snack. This is going to be tough for two weeks... but I have to believe I can do it!
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    • Doughgurl

      Hey everyone. I'm new here so I thought I should introduce myself. I am 53y/o and am scheduled for Gastric Bypass on June 25th, 2025. I'm located in San Antonio, Texas. I will be having my surgery in Tiajuana Mexico. I've wanted this for years, but I always had insurance where bariatric procedures were excluded. Finally I am able to afford to pay out of pocket.  I can't wait to get started, and I hope I'm prepared for the initial period of "hell". I know what I have signed up for, but I'm sure the good to come will out way the temporary period of discomfort and feelings of regret. I'd love to find people to talk to who have been through the same procedure or experience before. So I look forward to meeting you all. Hope you have a great week!
      · 2 replies
      1. Selina333

        I'm so happy for you! You are about to change your life. I was so glad to get the sleeve done in Dec. I didn't have feelings of regret overall. And I'm down almost 60 lbs. I do feel a little sad at restaurants. I can barely eat half a kid's meal. I get adults meals often because kid ones don't have the same offerings at times. Then I feel obligated to eat on that until it's gone and that can be days. So the restaurant thing isn't great for me. All the rest is fine by me! I love feeling full with very little. I do wish I could drink when eating. And will sip at the end. Just a strong habit to stop. But I'm working on it! You will do fine! Just keep focused on your desire to be different. Not better or worse. But different. I am happy both ways but my low back doesn't like me that heavy. So I listened (also my feet!). LOL! Update us on your journey! I'm not far from you. I'm in Houston. Good luck and I hope it all goes smoothly! Would love to see pics of the town you go to for this. I've never been there. Neat you will be traveling for this! Enjoy the journey. Take it one day at a time. Sometimes a few hours at a time. Follow all recommendations as best you can. 💗

      2. Doughgurl

        Thank you so much for your well wishes. I am hoping that everything goes easy for me as well. We don't eat out much as it is, so it wont be too bad in that department. Thankfully. Also, I hear you regarding your back and feet!! I'd like to add knees to the list. Killing me as we speak! I'm only 5' so the weight has to go. Too short to carry all this weight. Menopause really did a doosey on me. (😶lol) My daughter also lives in Houston. with her Husband and my 5 grand-littles. I grew up in Beaumont, so I know Houston well, I will be sure to keep in touch and update you on my journey. I may need some advice in the future, or just motivation. Thank You so much for reaching out, I was hoping to connect with someone in the community. I really appreciate it. 💜

    • Alisa_S

      On day 4 of the 2 week liquid pre-op diet. Surgery scheduled for June 11th.
      Soooo I am coming to a realization
      of something and I'm not sure what to do about it. For years the only thing I've enjoyed is eating. We rarely do anything or go anywhere and if we do it always includes food. Family comes over? Big family dinner! Go camping? Food! Take a short ride or trip? Food! Holiday? Food! Go out of town for a Dr appointment? Food! When we go to a new town we don't look for any attractions, we look for restaurants we haven't been to. Heck, I look forward to getting off work because that means it's almost supper time. Now that I'm drinking these pre-op shakes for breakfast, lunch, and supper I have nothing to look forward to.  And once I have surgery on June 11th it'll be more of the same shakes. Even after pureed stage, soft food stage, and finally regular food stage, it's going to be a drastic change for the rest of my life. I'm giving up the one thing that really brings me joy. Eating. How do you cope with that? What do you do to fill that void? Wow. Now I'm sad.
      · 1 reply
      1. LeighaTR

        I hope your surgery on Wednesday goes well. You will be able to do all sorts of new things as you find your new normal after surgery. I don't know this from experience yet, but I am seeing a lot of positive things from people who have had it done. Best of luck!

    • Alisa_S

      On day 4 of the 2 week liquid pre-op diet. Surgery scheduled for June 11th.
      Soooo I am coming to a realization
      of something and I'm not sure what to do about it. For years the only thing I've enjoyed is eating. We rarely do anything or go anywhere and if we do it always includes food. Family comes over? Big family dinner! Go camping? Food! Take a short ride or trip? Food! Holiday? Food! Go out of town for a Dr appointment? Food! When we go to a new town we don't look for any attractions, we look for restaurants we haven't been to. Heck, I look forward to getting off work because that means it's almost supper time. Now that I'm drinking these pre-op shakes for breakfast, lunch, and supper I have nothing to look forward to.  And once I have surgery on June 11th it'll be more of the same shakes. Even after pureed stage, soft food stage, and finally regular food stage, it's going to be a drastic change for the rest of my life. I'm giving up the one thing that really brings me joy. Eating. How do you cope with that? What do you do to fill that void? Wow. Now I'm sad.
      · 1 reply
      1. summerseeker

        Life as a big person had limited my life to what I knew I could manage to do each day. That was eat. I hadn't anything else to look forward to. So my eating choices were the best I could dream up. I planned the cooking in managable lots in my head and filled my day with and around it.

        Now I have a whole new big, bigger, biggest, best days ever. I am out there with those skinny people doing stuff i could never have dreamt of. Food is now an after thought. It doesn't consume my day. I still enjoy the good home cooked food but I eat smaller portions. I leave food on my plate when I am full. I can no longer hear my mother's voice saying eat it all up, ther are starving children in Africa who would want that!

        I still cook for family feasts, I love cooking. I still do holidays but I have changed from the All inclusive drinking and eating everything everyday kind to Self catering accommodation. This gives me the choice of cooking or eating out as I choose. I rarely drink anymore as I usually travel alone now and I feel I need to keep aware of my surroundings.

        I don't know at what point my life expanded, was it when I lost 100 pounds? Was it when I left my walking stick at home ? Was it when I said yes to an outing instead of finding an excuse to stay home ? i look back at my last five years and wonder how loosing weight has made such a difference. Be ready to amaze yourself.

        BTW, the liquid diet sucks, one more day and you are over the worst. You can do it.

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