I've been pretty open to people around me about my surgery. My family, my close group of friends and my co workers. But I'm having a problem with other friends and people that I'm not close to asking "how I did it". I feel like I'm lying to them when I say, I count my calories and workout. It's not a lie because that's what I do but I leave out the part of having the band. How do you guys deal with it?

I don't tell folks that I don't want to know that I had the lap band...I tell them I have done what I had to do to get healthy and leave it at that. its funny how some people do react when you tell them the truth I had a person who had this surgery and lost alot of weight told me she'd be here for me, but is no longer...so even some that have had the surgery and have gotten to their goals forget about the struggle. hang in there rigonj...you sound like you have it together and your right not everyone does need to knowabout the surgery...that's your business. glad to have read your post...thanks!!!

for those I don't choose to tell personal details, "Clean living and righteous thoughts" remains VERY effective.

The only people who know about my surgery are my husband and my friend. I avoided my mother for over two weeks after I was banded. She lives nearby, and has no idea what I've been through. I don't want to share my secret just yet. Maybe after I lose 100 pounds I'll tell my family. But, other people, I may never tell them. My weight has been a public struggle for me, even when I was skinny and in college. I was always fair game to talk about, "She lost weight", "oh, she gained it all back," as well as people always felt that they had to share their latest diet with me and suggestions. My grandmother was the worst, "You have such a pretty face. Don't you want to be attractive to boys?" I was barely overweight then!

I'm not ashamed that I had to get banded. It took me many years of research and discussion before I made this decision. It is SO not the easy way out! I still have cravings, and my band is nowhere near the green zone yet. It's a lot of willpower.

Don't feel badly about omitting the lap band from your story to people. It's none of their business. Would you be telling everyone about a personal surgical procedure? That is what this is. You needed this surgery for your health. You have lost an incredible amount of weight using your willpower and better habits! As for your best friend's mother-in-law...I can't write what my response to her would have been in this forum. LOL!

Yes! I feel like you and I have very very similar stories.

My boyfriend, mother, and one close friend are all that know...

When I was in the 8th grade, I had met my aunt for the first time and the FIRST THING SHE EVER SAID TO ME WAS, "Take it from me sweety, just stop eating." My grandpa used to tell me that I would have to not buy 2 seats on the plane, but the entire plane... and when he introduced me to people, he would tell them that they lost me once when I was younger, but later found me hiding in the refrigerator eating all of their food. This never happened, he just thought it was a funny way to introduce me.

My moms step mom was the same way towards me my whole life. As well as my mom. She doesn't remember now (she suffers from dementia) how mean she was to me growing up so now when she says I look great I just say thank you. I knew that people would be happy for me with my weight loss but I guess I never expected the negative feed back from "jealous" people. I actually had someone privately message me the other day telling me my glasses are too big for my face and the lipstick I wear is to dark and she's not trying to hurt my feeling but she "had" to tell me. She's quite a bit older than me and has kids only a couple years younger than me, I'm not sure what she has to be jealous about. I just thought it was extremely rude.

A friend of mine who had the sleeve and looks absolutely amazing told me this when I shared I had the band. She said you hesitate to share with people because they are waiting to see you fail and if you don't lose weight as quickly or you lose it too quickly or gain some back the haters are in the wings waiting to say I told you so. I had told some people but not the work people. They don't need to know.

some very hateful people out there...I chose to think of them as those with problems...if someone finds out that I have had the lap band and they are negative people and I hear someone say anything negative I confront them and ask them and what's your problem? because I don't have a problem anymore I have a new journey to travel and you are not welcome on it! I have learned that no matter how old they may be-negative is not anything I need to be dealing with right now...I need to move forward. that maybe rude but my mother always told me to be honest and that's about as honest as I can get without being so rude...LOL!!! hang in there folks you all are marvelous folks and we are on this WLS journey all together...we will be here for each other since some in our lives are evil human beings!!! God bless.