I started a thread yesterday about using food to self soothe when we are under stress. Now...I'm not talking about tricks to avoid things like head hunger...I'm talking about how to handle major stresses in our lives. I've seen posts from folks who've suffered the loss of a loved one, who are dealing with serious illness, who have issues with partners and/or children...major issues, not just day to day stuff, and many of these folks revert to overeating or eating poorly again and I was wondering what it is that we can do to deal with very stressful periods in our lives without reverting back to destructive food habits. Any suggestions? What works for you? Please feel free to share.

I acutually started reading a funny book and was lol in the doctors office yesterday , I also watch a funny movie and I have friends around and we go out to eat or just take a walk and catch up it seems to work and of course we have a few good laughs, but the talking really helps, just to get it out .

Lately I have to be honest I am not dealing with stress very well. I seem to be a bogged down by it and that's not really like me.

Having people to talk to and a place to share and vent my frustration helps. I will go for a walk, sit and meditate and focus on my breathing (ever notice it's harder to breath through gritted teeth?) I'll listen to some music and get up and dance around, or just sit and relax to some classical music. If it's late I'll put on a funny movie my husband and I can laugh together or I'll read a good book.

When my mind is troubled by something I've been chewing on in my brain I will read a book that "teaches" me something so my thoughts shift away from the issue and refocus on the new topic that I am trying to understand and learn. Doing this often helps give me perspective on the issue and allows me to think about it from a new vantage point and usually that resolve it.

Make no mistake stress is a killer! If your not dealing with it in a healthy way, and if your just not dealing with it and hoping it will go away.

I'm having a lot of trouble these days. My father had a stroke and will outlive his money at the rate we're spending on medical bills. Next year I may need to move so I can have him live with me. But I also have a young child who's just started school and needs a lot of care. My career is taking off and I've made huge leaps this year from being pretty senior to moving into the executive suite. It requires a lot of attention and focus...

So all told I'm maxed out, and I really haven't been eating well. Today I didn't eat at all. Well, I had coffee at 11:30am, a few pieces of chocolates from someone's stash at work, and then some chicken Soup at 4:30pm. For dinner I ate my daughter's leftover mac & cheese and corn... Yesterday I only ate candy, because that's what was around the office. The day before that I ate mostly salad, but had the fat off my husband's steak for dinner...

So I don't know. I'm struggling. Not overeating per se, but certainly not being healthy. Not sure what else to do about it. Bought some Protein Shakes tonight to keep on hand at work, so I can get through the day and eat something!!

And then other days I can't stop eating every 5 minutes. Dunno.

Going to the gym....running.....running can be as good, and better in some ways, than meditation..the endorphins kick in, your mind 1000's of miles away...forget entirely where you're at and what is going on....loose all track of time and space....

Does not happen every time the same way....but that's why we keep at it....we're addicted and for good reason....

I like to have at least one drink a day, maybe a scotch after work before dinner....or at least a beer if I'm not eating.....maybe wine if someone opened a bottle...

I quit smoking 8 years ago? But I now enjoy a good....and I mean good cigar....

Edited February 13, 201412 yr by B-52

Timely topic for me and I'm anxious to read everybody's answers. I went through an extremely stressful time last August when my BF went to consult for some chest pain he had been experiencing and ended up that day on the table getting an emergency quintuple bypass.

While I handled the stress OK (I thought) at the time (I was six months post op then) I find today I am having some kickback related to the incident. I won't bore the boards with the details, but I sense my current stress and anxiety is centered around this trauma and my BF's recovery and changes this has had on our relationship.

I'm implementing some self-care to help with this chronic situation. For me this means some yoga and some more "peaceful" types of body movement (outside of my more energetic exercise plan), more alone time when I feel the need, and more calming self-talk. I'm also ramping up doing more social activities on my own, just to have a different focus and allowing my mind to go to other places outside of my BF's health and recovery.

I'm not always perfect with this, sadly, and I get very critical of myself when I see myself resorting to my old ways of self-comfort (food or too many passive ways of spending my leisure time). I've printed out some reminders of more positive ways to care for myself which I carry on me when I feel myself too stressed out and slipping towards the danger zone.

EXERCISE

I literally take it one day at a time. I have had to learn that there are some things I can't change. Sometimes I have to say to myself - ok what is the main thing I have to do today, then what and then what's next.

In recent years I have had to deal with my daughter's heart condition, my ex-husband dying suddenly (accident at work), losing a home, moving out of state, switching jobs, my daughter in college far away, clinical depression and my son being addicted to pain medication. I had to step back from all of this and put myself first because what good was I to anyone - if I couldn't even take care of myself.

My son is ok now, I have a great job, the move was better for my husband and I, the house was a big money pit, and I'm a lot healthier.

I've had urges with food and I have sat there with baked green Beans eating them one after the other instead of chips when I've had that binge feeling - Lol

I feel like sometimes I say too much - (its easy for me to write my feelings out) - sorry so deep

I feel like sometimes I say too much - (its easy for me to write my feelings out) - sorry so deep

No...your struggle lets us know that if we're in a better place, we need to be grateful and if we're also struggling, we're not alone. I thank you for letting us in.

The postOp newfound ability to actually recognize 'stress' apart from simply 'responding' to something stressful by automatic overeating, continues to delight and amaze me.

Having a satisfying hobby, home chores & ability to just walk away relieves my own stress.

We are built to respond to 'stress'. The problem arises when those stressful periods become intermingled, overexpanded, intertwined and seemingly unescapable, they become 'DISstress'.....there's where the physical components start becoming measurable.

The last real research I did on the subject I settled on the notion that 'depression' was related to the concept of not being able to affect one's status or had too-limited an opportunity to respond satisfactorily to those events in our lives that over stressed us.

Rendering down the mounds of academic excess, I discoverd for myself that actually taking a step in the direction I wanted to go, at LEAST once a day, reduced my stress considerably. Sometimes something as simple as taking a walk, meditating, digging a post hole, chopping firewood, or driving along some short scenic route was all it took.

Obviously there are tons of possibilities.

Edited February 13, 201412 yr by Jack