Did you keep it a secret?

[Blondiee 278]

I've told my husband, father and friends. I've gotten reactions from happiness for me to fear and warnings to think about it a lot because it's dangerous and they know someone who had the surgery and had complications, etc etc. I guess they don't realize that I have been thinking about this for over 10 years now.

None of the people that I have told are majorly overweight like me so they don't understand my decision. You would think friends and family and people who love you would want you to be healthier. I don't understand the stigma attached to it.

Yes, people who are not overweight and have never has weight issues just don't understand. That's why I didn't tell my family...none of them have ever been overweight. Plus I didn't want to hear " why don't you just do WW again. You lost a lot of weight on that program."

[wendyt 108]

Stigma!!!! THAT'S the word I wanted in my original post! Yes, it's a shame that there's such a stigma attached to weight loss surgery, yet not for fad diets, like "cabbage Soup only" or "grapefruit", etc.

It's not shameful or wrong to want to be healthier at a lower weight, no matter which path you choose to get there.

[Melodica 64]

I think people believe that when we go for surgery, we're taking the "easy" way out. They don't realize that we've been trying different diets for years.

I was 240lbs when I was 15 years old. I've been trying diets ever since then. Everything from pills (which had awful side effects) to Weight Watchers (which actually helped until they went to this 'points plus' model) to the grapefruit diet, to Slim Fast, to low calorie and on and on. Every time I've dieted, I've gained even more weight afterward. I actually lost 45lbs on WW back in 2010, but then they changed and I had some stress in my life and got way off the wagon. Now I'm 35lbs heavier than I was when I started on WW.

I think people also believe we're doing it so we can look better, that it's not for our health. Yeah, looking better is a great side effect, but it's not my reason. I want to be able to walk through a store without having back/knee pain, walk up stairs without feeling like I'm going to die, ride a roller coaster, fit into a booth at a restaurant, fly on a plane without having to be embarrassed. There are so many things that my weight restricts me from doing. I can't wait to have all those things back. If someone in my life doesn't like the method I'm using to achieve it, too bad for them.

[livvsmum 2,370]

I have chosen some close friends to tell, and my family knows. I have only told one person at work - who I consider a friend outside of work - and I do not plan on telling anyone else at work particularly. There are lots of reasons for this....but the biggest one is that I did this for my health, and my health/medical history is really no one's business.

[jujubslim 95]

I've only shared with my husband & daughter for now, they're both supportive, my husband is a little nervous about surgery but he hasn't tried to talk me out of it. I recently told my supervisor & director just to give them a heads up that I'd be taking time off, they were both very supportive. Other than that I don't plan to really share too much info until after surgery. I'm still coming to terms with it myself I dont really want to negativity and judgement right now.

Edited January 31, 2014 by jujubslim

[scarlet333 386]

I have posted before that I had this surgery and only told my husband (not even my teenage sons). This was my initial inclination and I am so glad I made this decision. In the past when I dieted and would talk to everyone about it I always felt like people were watching what I ate and even making comments (like the food police). When I eventually failed I felt even worse because everyone knew about my weight watchers diet or jenny craig or nutri system etc... With this I quietly lost weight and most people didn't even notice until about 50 pounds down. Now when people notice I thank them for the compliment and noticing and talk about the fact that I started running and can't believe that I am able to do it. That usually takes them off the track until we are talking about exercise and I am comfortable with that.

Best decision for me but everyone is different.

[BigGirlPanties 957]

My sister had a RnY about 10 years ago (she said if the sleeve was available she SOOO would have gone that route); and she only told one of my sisters...no one knew...but she's private like that... because of that I had no problem telling anyone, I live thousands of miles from my family now, so they wouldn't have found out, but I wanted to share my journey with them... they have a good understanding of the benefits of the surgery, as do most of my friends (as they know my sis) ... it's been good... if someone asks, I tell them... at this point I don't care... I'm no longer "fat and happy"... just happy (and maybe a bit chubby)...

[hopeful2 be slim 121]

when I had my lap band I had told all that is was a surgery for my ulcer.

In India people will just not understand as its a new concept. THis time for my sleeve I said I an going away for 1 week. now I am saying I have an ulcer.cant eat or drink.

[Soontobesleeved 9]

I'm a pretty private person so I've told only 3 close friends, my sister,and have to tell my parents today. I'm scheduled for surgery on Tuesday. Not looking for award to the conversation tonight with my folks - which to be honest I wouldn't be doing if my sister wasn't pressuring me to do so. I'd rather tell them after it's done to avoid the drama. I know my sister isn't really on board but has said her part and then left it at that. I think my dad is going to be shocked and think it unnecessary and my mum will carry on about it, and then tell everyone with two ears that will listen even tho she will be asked to respect my privacy. Sigh. All that aside I'm really happy about my decision and understand that I'm sure I will have to share with others at some point but hopefully not straight away!

[fit2Bme2014 38]

I too, and pretty private . Ive told my mom, and a couple friends who've already had surgery. I haven't told my best friend or my boyfriend. Not sure that I will.

[SnohoGal98296 371]

- Husband - I'm behind you 100 percent

- Son (17yrs) - Why can't you lose weight by dieting and exercise?

- Daughter (20yrs) - okay

- Mother - I think that's the right choice

- Sister - I know someone who knows someone who knows five people who have died from that!

- Cousin - who's already had WLS twice, Welcome to the club!

- Boss - Just let me know how I can help

So a mixture!

[taylokat 180]

I have also kept my surgery private. My husband and 3 kids are aware. The day before my surgery my husband made me tell my brother. His logic was that if something bad happened to me my brother could tell my family. I understood that. I work in a recovery room and I see how judgmental some of my coworkers are. MyBMI was 35-36 (borderline) I didn't want to hear how I wasn't fat enough and I could just go to Weight Watchers. I did loose 60 lbs with them in 2001-2002. It took 10 years but I gained it all back plus another 10lbs. I'm almost 10 months post op now, 77 lbs down and 5 from goal. Still sticking to telling people Portion Control and exercise, just leaving the surgery part out. Nobody's business but mine!

[taylokat 180]

Also, I only took one week vacation from work. I went back to work on post op day 10. No problems et all!

[TheNewSleevedJulie 43]

I've kept it a secret. Only my husband and good friend know. Two weekends ago I went home to see my parents and told them. My dad was very mad I hid it from them and my mom wanted to learn more so I gave her my the sleeved life book and she read the whole thing right then. I think they are more supportive now but still are clueless about the whole thing. I'm debating on if I want to tell my best friend and sister

[butterfyeffect 257]

This is something I have thinking about quite a bit lately, as I plan to get the sleeve in May. So far only my (very supportive) husband, and my mother (who had RNY 4 yrs ago) know. As far as telling others, I think I will decide on a case by case basis.

As someone else pointed out, those who have not been overweight all of their lives cannot understand what it is like to try diet after diet, to exercise and count points, calories, carbs over and over again, only to fail, and usually end up a few pounds heavier in the process.

So I think that if people ask how I'm losing so much weight (assuming I do LOL) I will simply reply Portion Control, and exercise. If someone who I know has had a similar struggle with their weight asks me, I may divulge the information, but for friends who have always eaten what they want with no consequences, I think it's none of their business.

Another thing I am struggling with is what to tell my job(s). I am an ER nurse, and my surgeon told me no lifting more than 10 pounds for at least a month post-op. Now, generally I don't lift an awful lot at work but my job description says I need to be able to lift 50 pounds... do I tell them I had surgery, and need light duty? Or do I just take the month off for personal reasons?

Edited February 1, 2014 by butterfyeffect