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Mommy dearest, the destoyer....



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my MIL is nicer to me than my mother... my mother has definite issues. When I want support I go to supportive people, like some good friends, or DH. Some people you can't blow bubbles around cause they carry pins with them.

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That is a cute expression: you can't blow bubbles around some people because they carry pins with them! I like that.

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my MIL is nicer to me than my mother... my mother has definite issues. When I want support I go to supportive people, like some good friends, or DH. Some people you can't blow bubbles around cause they carry pins with them.

I love this too! ;)

I have since talked to my mom, and tried to be agreeable. Right now it just surface "niceness". I hope to get over it soon! :D

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Our parents and in particular our mothers are behind about 96% of our neuroses. Fact. ;)

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Guys I just need to vent. I have had a horrible day, all because of my mom!

I spent the day cleaning out the closets and such. I was excited as hell, you know! Getting rid of the big girl clothes. Just seconds after telling my mom I was so excited to be getting rid of size freaking 30 clothes, she says "Don't you think it is too soon? What happens if you backslide? I don't think you should get rid of them." She crushed me. This is the woman who just had and RenY last month. She knows how it feels to be fat, and she had to do that???

She has been in competition with me all my life. I hate it. I hater her, sometimes. Why did she have to break my heart...

Competition is a perfect word. That describes my sister and mother. It's never good enough, never as good as this person or that. Always looking for something to pick at. But competition would be very accurate in describing my mother who is 28 years older than I am but never truly found who she is as a person, as a woman. For this I have more pity than anger.

FauxnaifI feel your pain. My mother's like that and so is my husband's. Tell your friends, coworkers, etc. Anyone else! You don't have to have her approval. Get your congratulations and "proud of you"s elsewhere. I learned to do that.

Exactly. I have a friend who is in my balcony. She roots me on and encourages me. She prays for me and we laugh together over the many things that have happened. But I agree with you Fauxnaif, you don't have to have mom's approval.

My sister had been living away from home for over a year. She had lost a lot of weight...came to town..walked in the door at my Mom and Dads, and the first thing Mom said to my sister was "Doesnt look like you've lost that much weight." My sister started crying, she was ready to leave. I couldnt believe she said that to her. WELL...if you've lost 87lbs its about time you got rid of some size 30's! Good for you.. thats awesome.

I FOR ONE AM PROUD OF YOU!! - 2bthinagn

This breaks my heart for you sister. 87 pounds is a lot. I think your mother was more threatened than anything! You have your sister and she has you. Take comfort from that.

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Hmm, I wonder if this tends to be a same-gender parent issue? My mother would have been worried about me getting banded, but would have been 110% supportive (sadly, we lost her 2 1/2 years ago). My dad on the other hand (still alive), will probably be like "Oh, ok." or something like that. If he notices at all, he probably won't admit it. He's pretty much been that way all my life. After 40+ years, I've finally come to realize that's just the way he is and he probably doesn't mean anything negative by it. Either way, I've also learned to just not give a rat's ass what he thinks! :lalala:

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Our parents and in particular our mothers are behind about 96% of our neuroses. Fact. :)

I believe it.

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    • Alisa_S

      On day 4 of the 2 week liquid pre-op diet. Surgery scheduled for June 11th.
      Soooo I am coming to a realization
      of something and I'm not sure what to do about it. For years the only thing I've enjoyed is eating. We rarely do anything or go anywhere and if we do it always includes food. Family comes over? Big family dinner! Go camping? Food! Take a short ride or trip? Food! Holiday? Food! Go out of town for a Dr appointment? Food! When we go to a new town we don't look for any attractions, we look for restaurants we haven't been to. Heck, I look forward to getting off work because that means it's almost supper time. Now that I'm drinking these pre-op shakes for breakfast, lunch, and supper I have nothing to look forward to.  And once I have surgery on June 11th it'll be more of the same shakes. Even after pureed stage, soft food stage, and finally regular food stage, it's going to be a drastic change for the rest of my life. I'm giving up the one thing that really brings me joy. Eating. How do you cope with that? What do you do to fill that void? Wow. Now I'm sad.
      · 0 replies
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    • Alisa_S

      On day 4 of the 2 week liquid pre-op diet. Surgery scheduled for June 11th.
      Soooo I am coming to a realization
      of something and I'm not sure what to do about it. For years the only thing I've enjoyed is eating. We rarely do anything or go anywhere and if we do it always includes food. Family comes over? Big family dinner! Go camping? Food! Take a short ride or trip? Food! Holiday? Food! Go out of town for a Dr appointment? Food! When we go to a new town we don't look for any attractions, we look for restaurants we haven't been to. Heck, I look forward to getting off work because that means it's almost supper time. Now that I'm drinking these pre-op shakes for breakfast, lunch, and supper I have nothing to look forward to.  And once I have surgery on June 11th it'll be more of the same shakes. Even after pureed stage, soft food stage, and finally regular food stage, it's going to be a drastic change for the rest of my life. I'm giving up the one thing that really brings me joy. Eating. How do you cope with that? What do you do to fill that void? Wow. Now I'm sad.
      · 1 reply
      1. summerseeker

        Life as a big person had limited my life to what I knew I could manage to do each day. That was eat. I hadn't anything else to look forward to. So my eating choices were the best I could dream up. I planned the cooking in managable lots in my head and filled my day with and around it.

        Now I have a whole new big, bigger, biggest, best days ever. I am out there with those skinny people doing stuff i could never have dreamt of. Food is now an after thought. It doesn't consume my day. I still enjoy the good home cooked food but I eat smaller portions. I leave food on my plate when I am full. I can no longer hear my mother's voice saying eat it all up, ther are starving children in Africa who would want that!

        I still cook for family feasts, I love cooking. I still do holidays but I have changed from the All inclusive drinking and eating everything everyday kind to Self catering accommodation. This gives me the choice of cooking or eating out as I choose. I rarely drink anymore as I usually travel alone now and I feel I need to keep aware of my surroundings.

        I don't know at what point my life expanded, was it when I lost 100 pounds? Was it when I left my walking stick at home ? Was it when I said yes to an outing instead of finding an excuse to stay home ? i look back at my last five years and wonder how loosing weight has made such a difference. Be ready to amaze yourself.

        BTW, the liquid diet sucks, one more day and you are over the worst. You can do it.

    • CaseyP1011

      Officially here for a long time, not just a good time💪
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    • KimBaxleyWilson

      Three months and four days ago... I was in Costa Rica having a life changing surgery! Yesterday we had a followup visit with Dr. Esmeral via video chat and this morning my middle number changed.  I'm down 47lbs and two pants sizes. I can wear a Large tshirt for the first time in like... 14 years! Woot!! Everything is going great. I have zero regrets. I went down to the riverwalk with a friend and walked 2 miles on Monday without even getting fatigued. And no more snoring or chugging pickle juice for crazy leg cramps! I need to go to the gym more... I'm making new shirts next week so that will motivate me. LOL But I'm also just not as TIRED all the time! I have a LONG way to go...but seeing the progress on the scales and in the mirror is a huge motivator!! Thank you all for cheering me on and supporting me!!
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      https://alluniqueguide.com/java-burn-coffee-reviews/
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