Guys I just need to vent. I have had a horrible day, all because of my mom!

I spent the day cleaning out the closets and such. I was excited as hell, you know! Getting rid of the big girl clothes. Just seconds after telling my mom I was so excited to be getting rid of size freaking 30 clothes, she says "Don't you think it is too soon? What happens if you backslide? I don't think you should get rid of them." She crushed me. This is the woman who just had and RenY last month. She knows how it feels to be fat, and she had to do that???

She has been in competition with me all my life. I hate it. I hater her, sometimes. Why did she have to break my heart...

Brandy, what an awfully insensitive thing for your mother to say. I'm sorry that you had to endure that after such a wonderfully cathartic day (and I'm thinking it was probably a great NSV for you, too). My mother would probably say something similar, but I do know that in her case, it would be because she doesn't throw a darned thing away and she's from the Depression Era. Even if it doesn't fit or is out of style, it stays because it cost money.

Unfortunately I have gotten that packrat mentality and I've got to get control. I hope to be able to do what you did today and clear stuff out. Good for you for doing that.

Unfortunately, we can't pick our family.

Some people are just toxic, and it's best to avoid them as much as possible. I keep my mother at arm's length for just that reason. It's sad, and I will always wish that I had had a close, loving mother, but it wasn't in my cards.

I'm really sorry she hurt your feelings - but try not to give her that power.

Toss them clothes girl. I keep my clothes that are one size up, just because size is never constant and it kind of varies by day (but in a general downward motion).

A few times lately my mom has said that I did something better than her, and I really just don't know how to handle it because I've never heard encouragement like that, lol.

Anywho, you could 'what if' your mom the same thing. The RnY isn't any more a sure thing than the lapband is. *try* not to take it personally, I don't know your mom, but it's possible she was voicing her own fears for her own situation.

*hugs*

From a size 30 to a 14/16. Ignore her, you are soooo far from that now. She is just being silly and jealous or something.

Your doing great, just keep on, its hard to ignore when its your mom, after all we all want approval from our mom. I just think that if someone is in competition with you, it must mean that they feel like you are already one up, and it spurs them on to improvment. You must be her inspiration, instead of her being yours. Give her grace and just watch in the future when you have met your goal and feel really great, what difference did she make anyway? Your gonna be the winner with or without her approval. Sorry for the broken heart though, that part is the pits, no doubt about that. Dont you know that you are precious? Im proud of you for taking care of yourself, and toss those big clothes out, maybe save one souvenier to burn in the end. I am keeping one. Just for my goal reaching victory, kind of like those old fashiond mortgage burning parties. You can come over when I do that and you can burn yours too, OK?

I feel your pain. My mother's like that and so is my husband's. Tell your friends, coworkers, etc. Anyone else! You don't have to have her approval. Get your congratulations and "proud of you"s elsewhere. I learned to do that.

Your doing great, just keep on, its hard to ignore when its your mom, after all we all want approval from our mom. I just think that if someone is in competition with you, it must mean that they feel like you are already one up, and it spurs them on to improvment. You must be her inspiration, instead of her being yours. Give her grace and just watch in the future when you have met your goal and feel really great, what difference did she make anyway?

WOW! I think you all hit the nail on the head. I don't need her approval, I am 30 now, I think I will be ok without it! Thank you all so much.

When is the party? I am ready to burn these tents I have that were once panties!

Really thank you so much to all of you! I know that all my friends here would help me make sense of this!

BIG HUGS!:kiss2:

Burn baby burn!

Sorry your mom bursted your bubble. Just try and stay focused on yourself right now. Get rid of all your 30s. You will be shocked how fast the weight will come off. Good luck.

I donated all my clothes to charity. When my mom asked me why I got rid of them so soon, and asked if I was worried about having to buy big sizes again, I asked her if she was upset that I didn't give them to her. That shut her up pretty quickly. This is the same mother that kept telling me that I could lose the weight on my own if I would just stick with a diet forever. She was against me having surgery until 6 months after I did it. 2 weeks before surgery she asked me why I was so determined to be thin and I told her that I didn't want to be like her, fat and unhappy in my 50s. Now my "aunt" my mom's best friend is being banded and it's just the best surgery ever, and it saved my life according to my mom and my "aunt" is being encouraged to call me for information and support. Mom's are sometimes toxic, but it's makes us stronger. ~Mandy

lol, I have tent underwear too!!! Once when my sweet MIL was visiting, we were folding a load of whites and she got to one of my undies first and held them wide open and said, "my son is married to someone who wears these?!?" I was so incensed! I wanted to tie her up in them!! Now she hasnt seen me since Ive lost 80lbs, and she wont see me till June and I plan on being down at least 100lbs. Should I give her one of my old tents for a souvenir? Ha I doubt if she would even remember.

Victoriana: That was an awful thing for your MIL to say! If you were as thoughtless as she was, you could save a pair of big girl panties, wrap them up as a nice gift and attach a note that says, Your son just loved to get into these! :bolt:

Guys I just need to vent. I have had a horrible day, all because of my mom!

I spent the day cleaning out the closets and such. I was excited as hell, you know! Getting rid of the big girl clothes. Just seconds after telling my mom I was so excited to be getting rid of size freaking 30 clothes, she says "Don't you think it is too soon? What happens if you backslide? I don't think you should get rid of them." She crushed me. This is the woman who just had and RenY last month. She knows how it feels to be fat, and she had to do that???

She has been in competition with me all my life. I hate it. I hater her, sometimes. Why did she have to break my heart...

My sister had been living away from home for over a year. She had lost a lot of weight...came to town..walked in the door at my Mom and Dads, and the first thing Mom said to my sister was "Doesnt look like you've lost that much weight." My sister started crying, she was ready to leave. I couldnt believe she said that to her. WELL...if you've lost 87lbs its about time you got rid of some size 30's! Good for you.. thats awesome.

I FOR ONE AM PROUD OF YOU!!

Victoriana: That was an awful thing for your MIL to say! If you were as thoughtless as she was, you could save a pair of big girl panties, wrap them up as a nice gift and attach a note that says, Your son just loved to get into these! :bolt:

I agree to do this!!!!! That is hilarious!!

my MIL is nicer to me than my mother... my mother has definite issues. When I want support I go to supportive people, like some good friends, or DH. Some people you can't blow bubbles around cause they carry pins with them.