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Jealous ? Resentful ? Spouse just stunned the HELL out of me !



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Curvy, I messaged you...

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I am sorry your husband is not supportive or proud of you, you should be proud of your success. A husband should love you unconditionly and support you not belittle you or be embarrassed to be seen with you. It is sad that he is so insecure in himself he has to act like ass to feel better about himself- a real man would be proud of his wife and want to show it the world. I have been on both sides of that fence and I prefer to have a caring and loving husband who supports me. My ex husband was very much the same way and it made my self esteem go in the toilet. It is your life and you are the only one who can create happiness, don't give him the power to take it away.

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Curvy, I messaged you...

Good for u!! Luv urself, always!!! <3

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My situation was different.... but I had lost 125 # - huge right? My partner (long term live in relationship) hadn't said a word. Not a compliment, not an awknowledgement. One day I asked him... shyly... if he noticed that I was looking better. He kinda rolled his eyes at me and told me in a dismissive tone that he had always thought I was attractive. On the one hand, that was kind, but on the other hand, it completely invalidated my entire transformation.

I stewed on that for quite some time, but I started peeling the layers of that onion... and eventually realized that i was in a relationship that had been "dead" for years. Had nothing to do with my weight so losing weight didn't help any at all....

In my own mind, I thought our relationship problems had to do with me being grossly fat. nope.

I am single now.

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I think everyone here has hit the nail on the head, and I also think you are very perceptive and have a good handle on your situation. That's a great start. What I see is that you are gaining confidence, and he does not like it. His behavior is not new, and he has not changed, but YOU have, so good for you! He is running out of ways to beat you down, and therefore, his behavior seems to be is escalating.

Only you know your true situation, but I would be contacting some of those places for guidance. I don't know if he would ever hit you, but I doubt if he's ever going to be a good man to you. If you decide to leave, I would be making my escape plan in secrecy as quickly as possible, and just try to keep a lid on things. If you know you are leaving, there is no sense in upsetting this apple cart and risking further escalation. Let him think he's put you in your place so that when you make your escape, he doesn't see it coming.

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As a guy... I can tell you he's acting like that because he's super insecure and jealous as hell now. That's toxic for the relationship.. you need to confront him about it and see what he says... he'll either change or maybe he needs some time away to figure out what he really wants.

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    • Alisa_S

      On day 4 of the 2 week liquid pre-op diet. Surgery scheduled for June 11th.
      Soooo I am coming to a realization
      of something and I'm not sure what to do about it. For years the only thing I've enjoyed is eating. We rarely do anything or go anywhere and if we do it always includes food. Family comes over? Big family dinner! Go camping? Food! Take a short ride or trip? Food! Holiday? Food! Go out of town for a Dr appointment? Food! When we go to a new town we don't look for any attractions, we look for restaurants we haven't been to. Heck, I look forward to getting off work because that means it's almost supper time. Now that I'm drinking these pre-op shakes for breakfast, lunch, and supper I have nothing to look forward to.  And once I have surgery on June 11th it'll be more of the same shakes. Even after pureed stage, soft food stage, and finally regular food stage, it's going to be a drastic change for the rest of my life. I'm giving up the one thing that really brings me joy. Eating. How do you cope with that? What do you do to fill that void? Wow. Now I'm sad.
      · 0 replies
      1. This update has no replies.
    • Alisa_S

      On day 4 of the 2 week liquid pre-op diet. Surgery scheduled for June 11th.
      Soooo I am coming to a realization
      of something and I'm not sure what to do about it. For years the only thing I've enjoyed is eating. We rarely do anything or go anywhere and if we do it always includes food. Family comes over? Big family dinner! Go camping? Food! Take a short ride or trip? Food! Holiday? Food! Go out of town for a Dr appointment? Food! When we go to a new town we don't look for any attractions, we look for restaurants we haven't been to. Heck, I look forward to getting off work because that means it's almost supper time. Now that I'm drinking these pre-op shakes for breakfast, lunch, and supper I have nothing to look forward to.  And once I have surgery on June 11th it'll be more of the same shakes. Even after pureed stage, soft food stage, and finally regular food stage, it's going to be a drastic change for the rest of my life. I'm giving up the one thing that really brings me joy. Eating. How do you cope with that? What do you do to fill that void? Wow. Now I'm sad.
      · 1 reply
      1. summerseeker

        Life as a big person had limited my life to what I knew I could manage to do each day. That was eat. I hadn't anything else to look forward to. So my eating choices were the best I could dream up. I planned the cooking in managable lots in my head and filled my day with and around it.

        Now I have a whole new big, bigger, biggest, best days ever. I am out there with those skinny people doing stuff i could never have dreamt of. Food is now an after thought. It doesn't consume my day. I still enjoy the good home cooked food but I eat smaller portions. I leave food on my plate when I am full. I can no longer hear my mother's voice saying eat it all up, ther are starving children in Africa who would want that!

        I still cook for family feasts, I love cooking. I still do holidays but I have changed from the All inclusive drinking and eating everything everyday kind to Self catering accommodation. This gives me the choice of cooking or eating out as I choose. I rarely drink anymore as I usually travel alone now and I feel I need to keep aware of my surroundings.

        I don't know at what point my life expanded, was it when I lost 100 pounds? Was it when I left my walking stick at home ? Was it when I said yes to an outing instead of finding an excuse to stay home ? i look back at my last five years and wonder how loosing weight has made such a difference. Be ready to amaze yourself.

        BTW, the liquid diet sucks, one more day and you are over the worst. You can do it.

    • CaseyP1011

      Officially here for a long time, not just a good time💪
      · 0 replies
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    • KimBaxleyWilson

      Three months and four days ago... I was in Costa Rica having a life changing surgery! Yesterday we had a followup visit with Dr. Esmeral via video chat and this morning my middle number changed.  I'm down 47lbs and two pants sizes. I can wear a Large tshirt for the first time in like... 14 years! Woot!! Everything is going great. I have zero regrets. I went down to the riverwalk with a friend and walked 2 miles on Monday without even getting fatigued. And no more snoring or chugging pickle juice for crazy leg cramps! I need to go to the gym more... I'm making new shirts next week so that will motivate me. LOL But I'm also just not as TIRED all the time! I have a LONG way to go...but seeing the progress on the scales and in the mirror is a huge motivator!! Thank you all for cheering me on and supporting me!!
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      https://alluniqueguide.com/java-burn-coffee-reviews/
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