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My rant update (dh)



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I was married for 10 years (technically got divorced 2 days after the 10 year anniversary). He cheated on me twice. For the longest time an why I stayed so long in the marriage was that I thought of myself as a failure. That's I couldn't keep him happy and I was a bad wife. I hated the fact of getting divorced and I didn't even have kids. I now wish I did it a few years sooner. I have now met a really amazing man who takes care of me, even with my crazy emotional baggage. It'll get better. You'll probably go through hell in the process and have a wide range of emotions but it will get better. Divorce is like a death in your life. It's the death of your marriage only there's no burial. Be prepared for grieving the loss, but you sound like a strong woman and can handle this next phase in your life. I wish you the best and as you can see, we're here for you and have been in a similar spot - either with special needs kids, divorced, or divorced with kids.

Ty so much for sharing with me! I'm going thru a lot of the same stuff, the cheating, not being good enuff , being a. Total failure, and with him the constant reminder of where I'm not good enuff. He tells me where I am insufficient. But ur right, I am strong. And I can and will do this! :)

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I'm sorry for everything you have gone through & it's a lot! Your children are beautiful! I have a child with a heart defect and she's 15 and not too far from having open heart surgery. My daughter has had some issues during her life and that has been hard on me & her (of course) & I cannot imagine what you have gone through with 2 sick children!

You sound determined & intelligent! You've probably been doing it on your own anyways for a long time! I wish you the best of luck - keep us posted on how you are doing!

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God help anyone who comes here to "bash" you... We will tear them to shreds after ripping them a whole new one. I'm glad you came back and shared with us the update on this. You have a whole new life ahead of you. Best wishes!!

XOXOXOXOX

your girls are angels.

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Wow! What beautiful girls!! And they definitely have a beautiful mom. Inside and out. You are very courageous and stronger than you know. Do what's right for you and your kids. Children learn to accept the treatment their parents accept. You getting them out of a bad environment is brave and will help their personal psyches as they develop. I'm proud of you.

April

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I have two children and while they don't have special needs I too left my husband almost 3 years ago. I just couldn't have them living in a home where everyone walked on eggshells all the time. The blatant disrespect just got out of control. Our situations are different but oh so alike. I am so proud of you for making this incredibly hard decision. And while it will be far from easy your girls will grow up in a home with a mother they can look up to and respect. Hang in there, you're doing the right thing.

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I wish I could give you a hug. You may not know where your next meal will come from with him gone, but I guarantee with your smarts you know where to find help and you will survive. You have been fighting the system for your babies a long time I know, and you might even cause him to get a job. God's Grace.

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HotB, I have followed Misty from day one so I am aware of that. Misty's salary won't go a long way when paying bills, feeding her children and medical bills. I am simply pointing out to you Misty that you know where to get the help you will need. Best wishes Misty.

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Ok, well I don't know her, much less what her SALARY is. And even if I knew, I wouldn't venture into making further comments as to what she can or can not do with it.... I only wish her the best ;)

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Your getting stronger and braver..don't worry it will soon feel fantastic and empowering. Look forward my girl, look forward.

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I'm sorry for everything you have gone through & it's a lot! Your children are beautiful! I have a child with a heart defect and she's 15 and not too far from having open heart surgery. My daughter has had some issues during her life and that has been hard on me & her (of course) & I cannot imagine what you have gone through with 2 sick children! You sound determined & intelligent! You've probably been doing it on your own anyways for a long time! I wish you the best of luck - keep us posted on how you are doing!

Ty for taking the time to support me! I need all I can get. Tomorrow is going to be really hard, but is a must for all of us.

As a mom with 2special needs babes, please keep me posted on ur (not so little) little one! She will be in my thoughts and prayers as she goes thru a trying time with surgery. As will ur whole family! I know how hard, emotional, and trying a surgery like that is. My one child Harley, is 5 and had that surgery at 3 mos old. I understand what you are going thru and I'm here to support ur family as you go thru that!!! Please don't hesitate to talk to me about it. And if u need to talk on the phone, just call me. I can message you my number.

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God help anyone who comes here to "bash" you... We will tear them to shreds after ripping them a whole new one. I'm glad you came back and shared with us the update on this. You have a whole new life ahead of you. Best wishes!! XOXOXOXOX your girls are angels.

Ty so much!! I am really struggling with this and appreciate more than words can express!!

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Thank you all for all the support you give me! I love each of you and appreciate you more than u can ever imagine!!! You guys have no idea how nice it is to slip away from my crazy reality and have people there that justify and not judge me!!! Ty ALL so much!!

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Misty - you are so sweet! I was just letting you know that you aren't alone! Thank you for being so caring with my daughter - I will post a picture of her so you will know who I'm talking about :) At her last cardiologist appt her doctor found a significant leak in her valve. She had bicuspid aortic valve w/mod to severe regurgitation. I am just waiting for the surgeon to review her file with my cardiologist- they might wait 3 months and see how she is. I'm just not sure - but it is getting close and every time she goes to the cardiologist everything gets sent to the surgeon for him to review and see if she's ready - the waiting is the worst! I am on your side! And wish the best for you & your children

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Edited by jamilyne 102668

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god bless u girl... praying everything works in your favor.....♥♥♥·♥♥♥

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    • LeighaTR

      I am new here today... and only two weeks out from my sleeve surgery on the 23rd. I am amazed I have kept my calories down to 467 today so far... that leaves me almost 750 left for dinner and maybe a snack. This is going to be tough for two weeks... but I have to believe I can do it!
      · 0 replies
      1. This update has no replies.
    • Doughgurl

      Hey everyone. I'm new here so I thought I should introduce myself. I am 53y/o and am scheduled for Gastric Bypass on June 25th, 2025. I'm located in San Antonio, Texas. I will be having my surgery in Tiajuana Mexico. I've wanted this for years, but I always had insurance where bariatric procedures were excluded. Finally I am able to afford to pay out of pocket.  I can't wait to get started, and I hope I'm prepared for the initial period of "hell". I know what I have signed up for, but I'm sure the good to come will out way the temporary period of discomfort and feelings of regret. I'd love to find people to talk to who have been through the same procedure or experience before. So I look forward to meeting you all. Hope you have a great week!
      · 2 replies
      1. Selina333

        I'm so happy for you! You are about to change your life. I was so glad to get the sleeve done in Dec. I didn't have feelings of regret overall. And I'm down almost 60 lbs. I do feel a little sad at restaurants. I can barely eat half a kid's meal. I get adults meals often because kid ones don't have the same offerings at times. Then I feel obligated to eat on that until it's gone and that can be days. So the restaurant thing isn't great for me. All the rest is fine by me! I love feeling full with very little. I do wish I could drink when eating. And will sip at the end. Just a strong habit to stop. But I'm working on it! You will do fine! Just keep focused on your desire to be different. Not better or worse. But different. I am happy both ways but my low back doesn't like me that heavy. So I listened (also my feet!). LOL! Update us on your journey! I'm not far from you. I'm in Houston. Good luck and I hope it all goes smoothly! Would love to see pics of the town you go to for this. I've never been there. Neat you will be traveling for this! Enjoy the journey. Take it one day at a time. Sometimes a few hours at a time. Follow all recommendations as best you can. 💗

      2. Doughgurl

        Thank you so much for your well wishes. I am hoping that everything goes easy for me as well. We don't eat out much as it is, so it wont be too bad in that department. Thankfully. Also, I hear you regarding your back and feet!! I'd like to add knees to the list. Killing me as we speak! I'm only 5' so the weight has to go. Too short to carry all this weight. Menopause really did a doosey on me. (😶lol) My daughter also lives in Houston. with her Husband and my 5 grand-littles. I grew up in Beaumont, so I know Houston well, I will be sure to keep in touch and update you on my journey. I may need some advice in the future, or just motivation. Thank You so much for reaching out, I was hoping to connect with someone in the community. I really appreciate it. 💜

    • Alisa_S

      On day 4 of the 2 week liquid pre-op diet. Surgery scheduled for June 11th.
      Soooo I am coming to a realization
      of something and I'm not sure what to do about it. For years the only thing I've enjoyed is eating. We rarely do anything or go anywhere and if we do it always includes food. Family comes over? Big family dinner! Go camping? Food! Take a short ride or trip? Food! Holiday? Food! Go out of town for a Dr appointment? Food! When we go to a new town we don't look for any attractions, we look for restaurants we haven't been to. Heck, I look forward to getting off work because that means it's almost supper time. Now that I'm drinking these pre-op shakes for breakfast, lunch, and supper I have nothing to look forward to.  And once I have surgery on June 11th it'll be more of the same shakes. Even after pureed stage, soft food stage, and finally regular food stage, it's going to be a drastic change for the rest of my life. I'm giving up the one thing that really brings me joy. Eating. How do you cope with that? What do you do to fill that void? Wow. Now I'm sad.
      · 1 reply
      1. LeighaTR

        I hope your surgery on Wednesday goes well. You will be able to do all sorts of new things as you find your new normal after surgery. I don't know this from experience yet, but I am seeing a lot of positive things from people who have had it done. Best of luck!

    • Alisa_S

      On day 4 of the 2 week liquid pre-op diet. Surgery scheduled for June 11th.
      Soooo I am coming to a realization
      of something and I'm not sure what to do about it. For years the only thing I've enjoyed is eating. We rarely do anything or go anywhere and if we do it always includes food. Family comes over? Big family dinner! Go camping? Food! Take a short ride or trip? Food! Holiday? Food! Go out of town for a Dr appointment? Food! When we go to a new town we don't look for any attractions, we look for restaurants we haven't been to. Heck, I look forward to getting off work because that means it's almost supper time. Now that I'm drinking these pre-op shakes for breakfast, lunch, and supper I have nothing to look forward to.  And once I have surgery on June 11th it'll be more of the same shakes. Even after pureed stage, soft food stage, and finally regular food stage, it's going to be a drastic change for the rest of my life. I'm giving up the one thing that really brings me joy. Eating. How do you cope with that? What do you do to fill that void? Wow. Now I'm sad.
      · 1 reply
      1. summerseeker

        Life as a big person had limited my life to what I knew I could manage to do each day. That was eat. I hadn't anything else to look forward to. So my eating choices were the best I could dream up. I planned the cooking in managable lots in my head and filled my day with and around it.

        Now I have a whole new big, bigger, biggest, best days ever. I am out there with those skinny people doing stuff i could never have dreamt of. Food is now an after thought. It doesn't consume my day. I still enjoy the good home cooked food but I eat smaller portions. I leave food on my plate when I am full. I can no longer hear my mother's voice saying eat it all up, ther are starving children in Africa who would want that!

        I still cook for family feasts, I love cooking. I still do holidays but I have changed from the All inclusive drinking and eating everything everyday kind to Self catering accommodation. This gives me the choice of cooking or eating out as I choose. I rarely drink anymore as I usually travel alone now and I feel I need to keep aware of my surroundings.

        I don't know at what point my life expanded, was it when I lost 100 pounds? Was it when I left my walking stick at home ? Was it when I said yes to an outing instead of finding an excuse to stay home ? i look back at my last five years and wonder how loosing weight has made such a difference. Be ready to amaze yourself.

        BTW, the liquid diet sucks, one more day and you are over the worst. You can do it.

    • CaseyP1011

      Officially here for a long time, not just a good time💪
      · 0 replies
      1. This update has no replies.
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