My family is making me nervous. .they keep telling me I'm not big enough for WLS.that I will get to skinny. .they are concern why my doc world allow me to have wls..I currently weight 235lb, 5'4..we have a family friend that had VSG 2012.. she's realllly starting to look scary unhealthy, and my mom & sis..keeps telling me. They hope I take her example seriously. .getting nervous :-(

Thanks, all! I didn't mean to turn this into a LOVE ON LIPSTICK thread. (Not complaining!!)

Just saying that even at the old age of 40 plus a few and a hundred pounds down on a shorter frame, one can and will look healthier than a morbidly obese woman. I do exercise regularly but I love doing it, oddly enough. I eat healthy foods most of the time.

I do NOT drink enough Water, so there is room for improvement there. I have saggy boobs, my ass has under-cheeks because it's a bit droopy. My thighs look like melted candle wax (not so much wrapped around Mr.LL) and my tummy is "loose". My arms flap A LOT during Zumba, and I have a bit of a waddle under my (ONE!!!ONE!!!ONE!!!) chin.

My body isn't perfect, but it's so fecking healthy and getting fitter every day. My shoulders are awesome. I have gorgeous biceps. I own collar bones and hip bones!!! Did I mention that I have ONE!!!!ONE!!!!ONE!!!! chin?

The way I feel much much much makes up for my physical imperfections. My physical imperfections now are much more attractive than those I had 100 pounds ago.

I am so happy. SO SO SO happy.

It's so helpful to read and see this thread. I was talking to a friend (a skinny bitch friend, LOL) yesterday and she was marveling over the 44 pounds. I am having trouble right now understanding/visualizing/trying to figure out how it will be 20, 30, 40 pounds from now. I think because I'm very close to a previous "maintenance" weight I am kind of happy with where it is now. Not happy enough NOT to see this through and keep going, but it's just so hard to believe that it is coming off. I mean, I know exactly where more weight is going to come from; but my belief that it is happening hasn't necessarily caught up with the reality.

I don't know if I make any sense. But to see stats like Lipstick Lady's and others who are similarly situated, I am beginning to understand that wow, I might actually make my reasonable goal…and maybe more. And I am starting to wonder what it will be like to get there and deal with that.

And to get back to the OP's point…man, I'll take looking slightly older (if that is what happens) or saggy or whatever. I'm already better at my workouts and exercising with waaaay less pain and discomfort. I feel so much healthier, all the time. And that is more important to me than almost anything.

Though to be honest, I think LL's loss makes her look 10-15 years younger.

When I decided to have this surgery, I wanted to hit 180. That was the lowest I had seen since kids so that's the only low weight I knew.

When I hit 200, I decided that 180 was going to be too "easy" to get to so I decided on 160 as my max lowest.

When I hit 170, I decided that I would make a stretch goal of 150 and that would be final. (Then I decided I really wanted to be in the 140s, so I dropped a pound.)

Now I have decided to say F-U to a weight number and work on getting to a SIZE. I am in 10s and will be in 8s in about 10 pounds. I can wear 8s at some stores but not everywhere which, to my OCD self, doesn't count yet. I think my goal is a comfy 8 and a tight 6. My intent is to talk to a few people I know and who I am close to who are my height and my ideal body "look". Since I cannot see myself yet (total body dysmorphia), I will stretch to be the same size as someone I CAN see. I know our shapes may be different but I think that will be close to where I need to be.

It's a journey, not a destination. I just don't know where I am going to set up house yet.

Edited January 5, 201412 yr by LipstickLady

Right. I started out thinking 170. Now I'm thinking 150. But there's a part of me that is saying, "Well…why not take it as far as it will go?" I mean, 100 pounds lost puts me right in the middle of my normal weight chart at 5'5". Whatever that's worth.

Also, in a strange development, I'm already wearing a size that I was last able to wear when I was 15-20 pounds lighter. And that also makes me think I should be looking at sizes more than an actual weight. I have never worked out this much while following any kind of a plan. Okay, as I think about it, I wonder if I have ever really worked out at ALL while also following a restricted calorie diet. I think I've gone full bore into exercise OR diet, but not both at the same time.

Sorry. Squirrel darted out there.

Before pics:

Now:

Look more unhealthy?....I don't think so.

I am tempted to say I want to hit 131. That would put me at HALF the woman I used to be.

I am tempted to say I want to hit 131. That would put me at HALF the woman I used to be.

Go for it! My goal was 145. That was 10 pounds more than I weighed the day I got married. I'm now at 142 and thinking.....about 135. Will I look unhealthy? Maybe to those people who were "comfortable" seeing me fat!

Thanks everyone for the feedbacks.

To the OP, I think a lot of it is genetics. This is just my opinion, but I think there are a LOT of WLS people who do in fact look pretty bad when it's all said and done. Sure, that's better than being super morbidly obese and unhealthy on the verge of death. But.... That also doesn't change the fact that not everyone looks good after such drastic weight loss. They may think they do....but.......hehehe. Like I said, it's better than the alternative. That's why there is plastic surgery I guess. I find the most obvious places to really particularly look bad on a lot of WLS patients is their face.

I think people who are at the beginning of their journey or people who are watching someone else's journey tend to be conservative. "I could never weigh that, I would look ill!" But the reality is that if you are exercising and following a sensible way of eating, the "healthy" BMI range WILL look healthy on most people, especially given some time for remaining fat to redistribute and for skin to tighten a bit. Just because you can't picture it now doesn't make it true.

I also think the last 15-20 pounds tend to be "invisible". It is around our middle and we tend to hide our middle by wearing clothes that compress it (jeans) or hide it (untucked shirts). Also nobody looks very closely at someone else's stomach because it is rude. People keep telling me they don't know where I will lose more weight but I know it is between my bra strap and my hip bones. I have at least 20 pounds to lose from there if not 30.

I looked unhealthy to my family for a short period. All the weight came off my face, my hair thinned and people were just not used to seeing me at a normal BMI. I am 5'6" and weighed 254 in heavy clothes when approved for surgery. I weighed 222 the day before surgery, 4 months later. My feeling is that after rapid weight loss, it takes a while for everything to settle its place. They still comment about my size, but I don't care. I feel heathy and good and I'm squarely in the middle of the normal BMI for my height.

Lynda

I think this is exactly why our (well-meaning) friends and family members often think we look unhealthy with weight loss...they've gotten so used to seeing us heavy that it's become our new "normal" and seeing us getting smaller is a bit jarring, especially since it becomes so rapid.

I remember when I was at my heaviest (i'm 5'6 and was 245lbs) I mentioned to my mom that I wanted to lose 100lbs. Immediately my mom started in about how unhealthy that was and that if I lost that much weight I'd look anorexic/sickly, put myself in the hospital and possibly die.

Now my mom's a smart, logical woman, but that makes no sense. If I had lost 100lbs, that means I'd have been 5'6, 145lbs. That is by no means sickly. I think it just seemed like such a big number to her because she was thinking of me at 245lbs as my "normal" weight, so 100lbs off a "normal" weight is scary. But it's like, "Dude, I'm morbidly obese. 100lbs off would bring me back to normal."

Plus, my senior year of high school I weighed 150lbs and I didn't look sickly at all. Back then that was my normal. But I gained weight gradually over the years and I think Mom and most people have forgotten that yes, I used to have visible collar bones, thin wrists and my waist went in.

Edited January 5, 201412 yr by Comfy_Blue

This was a great thread....thanks to all who contributed and especially LL for the pics. WOW you look great but most of all....your hair is incredibly beautiful !!! I have been trying to get the courage to post before and now during pics but not there yet and admire those who do.

Better to look unhealthy than be unhealthy. ( <3 disease, diabetes, slerp apnea) These ladies look gorg btw)

I've been thinking about the looks thing overnight. One of my very close friends was sleeved in June (I was October) and two of her best friends had other WLS. I believe they were both RNY; one might have been DS.

One of them looks sickly. His skin has a kind of yellowish tinge to it; he looks washed out. I am guessing he's been having some trouble with malabsorption. The other friend looked a little "off" when I saw her in August. I saw her again in November and she looked much healthier. It might have been something as simple as hair thinning that resolved itself. I really don't know. I couldn't put my finger on it then so I don't know what "improved."

So I wonder if some of it is this malabsorption thing? But it probably does have a lot to do with genetics. My friend and I had less weight to lose than the other two so I don't know if that has something to do with it too.

No you are not to thin. I was 228 on day of surgery at 5'4".