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Sleeping with the enemy

I had my surgery November 5th. Healing and progress is great so far. My sleeping habits have changed astronomically since then. I used to be a heavy sleeper and now.. Not so much. The worst part is my boyfriend! He's always stayed up later than I have but recently I wake up and want to strangle him! He watches T.V. until 3 or 4 in the morning, mostly falling asleep with it on, gets up and down to go outside, eats! Before I could sleep through this, now I fall asleep at my normal 10-11 and I'm woken up by 12:30-1. By this time I'm so tired, so MAD at him I toss and turn until finally he falls asleep and I can turn off the TV. I am living this amazing healthy lifestyle and being pro active but I sleep like shit. It's 3 am and I just ordered a face mask and ear plugs. The doc says "the bed is for sleeping only" but is it fair of me to demand he change his habits now that I'm no longer able to sleep through them? Any advice or tips? Besides kicking his ass to the curb? Sweet dreams!

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  • Mommysonadiet
    Mommysonadiet

    I had this issue. I tried to adapt to him and all it did was make me bitter and angry. He finally adapted to me and each of us are happier and healthier.

  • Shells_Almost_There
    Shells_Almost_There

    Chiming in to say that my sleep has changed drastically since surgery and I have been wondering if anyone else has been experiencing this! I was never a great sleeper in general and any noise or ligh

  • I didn't have any change in my sleeping habits or patterns, I do notice I wake up a bit more refreshed these days as my mild sleep apnea is gone. And that might be it for you. The way you eat now, y

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I had this issue. I tried to adapt to him and all it did was make me bitter and angry. He finally adapted to me and each of us are happier and healthier.

I have to have the TV on to go to sleep. My husband complains all the time. But most timed he can sleep thru it. I only get a few hours sleep a night. On rare occasion 5 hours. Just work it out with him.

Do you guys know about the very alarming research coming out about lack of sleep and overweight?

And about lack of sleep and depression?

Check it out. Then figure out how you can get more sleep.

Good luck to everyone suffering from this.

After many years, my husband and I adopted the "no TV in the bedroom" rule. I go to sleep and wake up much earlier than he does. (We live in the Mountain time zone - he deals with China and I work on East Coast time...ahhh global commerce)

Prior to surgery, I could sleep thru him flopping into bed and generally making a racket. Since surgery, I haven't been sleeping well (sleeved 11/14) so it's even worse. Not only do I wake up when he comes to bed, I wake up every time he rolls over, every time I roll over and every time the dog walks in the room. It's chaotic!!!!!!

I don't think there's anything wrong with sitting down with your boyfriend and trying to come up with a compromise. It's not exactly fair of you to make him stop his behavior altogether, but is it fair to you that your dealing with his? Cohabitation with another human being is all about compromise.

Maybe he can watch TV in another room until he's ready to go to sleep? The mask and ear plugs will probably help some. Give and take!

Chiming in to say that my sleep has changed drastically since surgery and I have been wondering if anyone else has been experiencing this! I was never a great sleeper in general and any noise or light would wake me up. Now, I can only sleep 5 hours - 6 if I'm lucky. It's horrible. These days, I fall asleep and sleep hard for the 5 hours, but then I wake up and there is no such thing as getting back to sleep. I wake up rested and ready for the day, except that it's 3:30 or 4:00 a.m.

I feel lucky that I live alone at this point because my new habits would annoy anyone who had to deal with me. I hope this turns around soon...

I had my surgery November 5th. Healing and progress is great so far. My sleeping habits have changed astronomically since then. I used to be a heavy sleeper and now.. Not so much. The worst part is my boyfriend! He's always stayed up later than I have but recently I wake up and want to strangle him! He watches T.V. until 3 or 4 in the morning, mostly falling asleep with it on, gets up and down to go outside, eats! Before I could sleep through this, now I fall asleep at my normal 10-11 and I'm woken up by 12:30-1. By this time I'm so tired, so MAD at him I toss and turn until finally he falls asleep and I can turn off the TV. I am living this amazing healthy lifestyle and being pro active but I sleep like ****. It's 3 am and I just ordered a face mask and ear plugs. The doc says "the bed is for sleeping only" but is it fair of me to demand he change his habits now that I'm no longer able to sleep through them? Any advice or tips? Besides kicking his ass to the curb? Sweet dreams!

I slept in the guest bedroom for a good 3 weeks after surgery. Alone.

Chiming in to say that my sleep has changed drastically since surgery and I have been wondering if anyone else has been experiencing this! I was never a great sleeper in general and any noise or light would wake me up. Now, I can only sleep 5 hours - 6 if I'm lucky. It's horrible. These days, I fall asleep and sleep hard for the 5 hours, but then I wake up and there is no such thing as getting back to sleep. I wake up rested and ready for the day, except that it's 3:30 or 4:00 a.m.

I feel lucky that I live alone at this point because my new habits would annoy anyone who had to deal with me. I hope this turns around soon...

I didn't have any change in my sleeping habits or patterns, I do notice I wake up a bit more refreshed these days as my mild sleep apnea is gone. And that might be it for you. The way you eat now, you losing weight, more energy etc... You might not need as much sleep.

My wife and I are the same way, she goes to bed early and I stay up. I have started bringing my tablet to bed and plugging in headphones so I don't wake her up with the noise and I keep the brightness down. Maybe something like that, if you have a device, would help.

  • Author

Thanks all! I'm glad I'm not the only one. I'm sure it has something to do with my new energy, weight loss and new eating habits. Hopefully the mask and plugs will help me. ????

Yeah, I would definite change your sleeping arrangements...I have chronic insomnia, so when I can sleep, I have to sleep.

  • 1 month later...

I have this issue now, pre surgery LOL. Lately he has been putting a cover over him and the lap top so the light doesnt bug me. Honestly, invest in that sleep mask!! I use it nightly and it really helps.

I had my surgery November 5th. Healing and progress is great so far. My sleeping habits have changed astronomically since then. I used to be a heavy sleeper and now.. Not so much. The worst part is my boyfriend! He's always stayed up later than I have but recently I wake up and want to strangle him! He watches T.V. until 3 or 4 in the morning, mostly falling asleep with it on, gets up and down to go outside, eats! Before I could sleep through this, now I fall asleep at my normal 10-11 and I'm woken up by 12:30-1. By this time I'm so tired, so MAD at him I toss and turn until finally he falls asleep and I can turn off the TV. I am living this amazing healthy lifestyle and being pro active but I sleep like ****. It's 3 am and I just ordered a face mask and ear plugs. The doc says "the bed is for sleeping only" but is it fair of me to demand he change his habits now that I'm no longer able to sleep through them? Any advice or tips? Besides kicking his ass to the curb? Sweet dreams!

Buy him wireless headphones too. When my hubby wants to stay up a little a later then me i put a blanket up like a little wall and fall fast asleep. The peace maker was the headphones and both of us compromising. I put on an eye mask if he is into a movie and he wears the headphones, if he up longer then 2 hours then off to couch he goes.

I wear ear plugs and an eye mask. I would never sleep without them!! If that doesn't do it it's his turn to give.

I have some of the opposite experiences. Since surgery I have slept like a baby!

I go to bed earlier than my husband and it would drive me nuts when he came to bed and turned the lights on. Got a mask and I love it. I don't even notice when he comes in now. As far as the tv don't be afraid to ask him to compromise a bit. He can use headphones and a tablet and you'll use a mask, then everyone is happy.

On another note you'd be surprised how many happy couples have separate rooms. Some say it spices up your love life. You can have sleep overs occasionally and you'll have privacy or time for yourself when you need it.

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