On December 11, 2012 I had my first appointment with the bariatric surgeon who would, four months later on March 20, 2013, install a lapband around my stomach. This decision and surgical action was major and dramatic, but I was sad and desperate as well as exhausted, defeated and no longer willing to buy into the fallacy that I could do this without surgical intervention. So I lay down my previous weapon: the cycle of "traditional" dieting which I had been believing in and paying into since I was 14 years old. Traditional dieting was so clearly not working for me; I had lost and regained weight my entire life and I no longer had the energy to do one more round at Weight Watchers, filling up on salads and bulky foods to keep my hunger at bay, gaming the points program so I could work in a dessert each day, hanging on by my fingernails from one meal to the next, and fearing vacations, birthdays, holidays, as I knew these would either see me feeling frustrated and deprived, or overeating because "hey, I've already gone over my points. Might was well start back on Monday."

I had done hours of research and had a good idea of what lay ahead. I had a few fears as a pre-op, notably the fear that I would no longer be able to "eat as much as I wanted" when I wanted. I also feared the surgery itself (I try and stay out of hospitals as much as possible) but I was willing to override these anxieties to become one of those people that I see here, on this forum: a success story, transforming myself inside and out.

I had made a list of why I was doing this and I brought that to the hospital where, the night prior to the intervention, I read and re-read my hopes for this surgery. I was ready, peaceful and in a mindset of self-care when they wheeled me to the OR the next morning.

I am now 8.5 months post-op, almost 50 pounds lighter than I was on the day of surgery. It goes without saying that I am happy to have back a more aesthetically-pleasing exterior, renewed energy and mobility, and a load of self-confidence.

My original fears about surgery were unfounded: the lapband gives me a physical restraint to overeating, certainly, but it also has an effect on my brain and how I view food now. ( I call it the nicotine patch for the stomach as it dims the appetite much like the patch works for smokers.) I should not have worried about missing the ability to stuff myself, as that is of no interest to me today. (Just the thought of that makes my band tighten!) I am free from the dieting mindset that I must seek bulky, filling foods or I'll cave and break my "diet" because my lapband clicks in and gives me satiety when I eat my small portions of lapband-compliant foods. I don't have to log points or calories, and restaurant dinners, parties, vacations or holidays are not viewed as opportunities for white-knuckling deprivation or, alternately, opportunities to go off my eating plan and eat all the cake, Cookies and candy that I can, "until Monday."

I have experienced so many unexpected benefits as the result of my decision and the most striking is this wonderful sense of fierceness that I now have. I feel so strong, capable and confident! This fierceness has manifested itself in many ways. Physically: alongside my daily dedicated exercise, I now do aquagym and ride my bike each weekend when I'm out in the countryside--26 km logged last weekend through the fields of Normandy! Mentally: I travel out of my comfort zone--last month I went to Morocco, a place I'd always dreamed of going to. Professionally: I seek opportunities to speak publically and am involved in more professional conferences, meeting others in my field which has the effect of re-energizing my own committment to my job.

I am so grateful that I did not try and convince myself to give Weight Watchers (or another diet program) "just one more try" last year. I know as surely as my heart is beating that I would weigh more today than I did last year at this time had I not had surgery. Instead, I am looking towards this Christmas season in deep gratitude for my self-care, not fearing the supermarket aisles filled with chocolates, buttercream buche de noel (that was a real binge food for me pre-surgery), and special holiday foods. I know that I will eat peacefully, enjoying my small portions of delicious food, and I won't be waking up on January 1st feeling fat and guilty, and embarking on another futile attempt to diet and "do it for good this time."

Edited December 10, 201312 yr by parisshel

I am getting my band done in January and really needed to hear what you just shared. Thank you and congratulations.

You were beautiful then and now. Your post easily could of been my post congrats

What a great story! Congrats to you! I can't wait to see where I am a year from now!

Amazing. You look great. Congratulations and keep up the good work. Continued success in this new year.

Thanks for that story sounds like me

Fantastic!

absolutely beautiful... I am sure you know that your story is very common in our group... I bet I have spent hundreds of thousands of dollars on every weight loss program out there.. Jenny Craig, WW, Nutrisystem, HCG, even went to a Dr. who gave me B12 shots and speed... It's no wonder my metabolism was screwed up.. I finally had had enough and like you decided to stop that diet merry go around.. I am so very thankful I did and very thankful to have found lapbandtalk to give me some motivation and advice when needed. Keep up the good work and all I can say is you have taken 20 years off of your life..

I have my final appointment with the surgeon on 1/23. I'm going back and forth. Some days I'm all determined to do it and then days I'm scared out of my mind to do it. Not just from the surgery but the whole way of life and changes that it will bring. I lost 121 pounds 4 years ago and gained all my weight back. Feel like a failure that I can't control my food issues on my own. Your story was very uplifting. Thanks for sharing.

Edited January 8, 201412 yr by patty1957

On December 11, 2012 I had my first appointment with the bariatric surgeon who would, four months later on March 20, 2013, install a lapband around my stomach. This decision and surgical action was major and dramatic, but I was sad and desperate as well as exhausted, defeated and no longer willing to buy into the fallacy that I could do this without surgical intervention. So I lay down my previous weapon: the cycle of "traditional" dieting which I had been believing in and paying into since I was 14 years old. Traditional dieting was so clearly not working for me; I had lost and regained weight my entire life and I no longer had the energy to do one more round at Weight Watchers, filling up on salads and bulky foods to keep my hunger at bay, gaming the points program so I could work in a dessert each day, hanging on by my fingernails from one meal to the next, and fearing vacations, birthdays, holidays, as I knew these would either see me feeling frustrated and deprived, or overeating because "hey, I've already gone over my points. Might was well start back on Monday." I had done hours of research and had a good idea of what lay ahead. I had a few fears as a pre-op, notably the fear that I would no longer be able to "eat as much as I wanted" when I wanted. I also feared the surgery itself (I try and stay out of hospitals as much as possible) but I was willing to override these anxieties to become one of those people that I see here, on this forum: a success story, transforming myself inside and out. I had made a list of why I was doing this and I brought that to the hospital where, the night prior to the intervention, I read and re-read my hopes for this surgery. I was ready, peaceful and in a mindset of self-care when they wheeled me to the OR the next morning. I am now 8.5 months post-op, almost 50 pounds lighter than I was on the day of surgery. It goes without saying that I am happy to have back a more aesthetically-pleasing exterior, renewed energy and mobility, and a load of self-confidence. My original fears about surgery were unfounded: the lapband gives me a physical restraint to overeating, certainly, but it also has an effect on my brain and how I view food now. ( I call it the nicotine patch for the stomach as it dims the appetite much like the patch works for smokers.) I should not have worried about missing the ability to stuff myself, as that is of no interest to me today. (Just the thought of that makes my band tighten!) I am free from the dieting mindset that I must seek bulky, filling foods or I'll cave and break my "diet" because my lapband clicks in and gives me satiety when I eat my small portions of lapband-compliant foods. I don't have to log points or calories, and restaurant dinners, parties, vacations or holidays are not viewed as opportunities for white-knuckling deprivation or, alternately, opportunities to go off my eating plan and eat all the cake, cookies and candy that I can, "until Monday." I have experienced so many unexpected benefits as the result of my decision and the most striking is this wonderful sense of fierceness that I now have. I feel so strong, capable and confident! This fierceness has manifested itself in many ways. Physically: alongside my daily dedicated exercise, I now do aquagym and ride my bike each weekend when I'm out in the countryside--26 km logged last weekend through the fields of Normandy! Mentally: I travel out of my comfort zone--last month I went to Morocco, a place I'd always dreamed of going to. Professionally: I seek opportunities to speak publically and am involved in more professional conferences, meeting others in my field which has the effect of re-energizing my own committment to my job. I am so grateful that I did not try and convince myself to give Weight Watchers (or another diet program) "just one more try" last year. I know as surely as my heart is beating that I would weigh more today than I did last year at this time had I not had surgery. Instead, I am looking towards this Christmas season in deep gratitude for my self-care, not fearing the supermarket aisles filled with chocolates, buttercream buche de noel (that was a real binge food for me pre-surgery), and special holiday foods. I know that I will eat peacefully, enjoying my small portions of delicious food, and I won't be waking up on January 1st feeling fat and guilty, and embarking on another futile attempt to diet and "do it for good this time."

You look amazing. So happy for your success.