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What's Your Food Philosophy: Abstain Forever Or Eat In Moderation?



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My catch word is "avoid". I avoid flour and conventional sweets/sugar. I did the whole OA thing for years and abstaining to the point of forbidden is so hard. But now I constantly look for ways to avoid the flour. And sweets should be all natural. I swear they must put so kind of super addicting chemical in mass produced sweets. But a few pieces of dark chocolate chips are great come PMS.

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I had to go through a 12-week program and lose 10% before surgery. During that time the biggest thing I learned was how to budget calories the way I budget time and money. Occasionally I could "afford" a little bit of something decadent and it was nice. Just knowing I COULD have it whenever I wanted to budget for it sort of took away the "forbidden fruit" mystique. I feel the same way about it now - if an occasion comes up I'll budget for it and have a little birthday cake or whatever it is - if I ever reach a point of wanting such things again. My tastes are changing and I would rather have raw vegetables and grilled, lean meat than anything else. I'm 2 months post-op so we'll see how it goes.

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So many honeymooners have replied to this thread, mostly honeymooners actually, fascinating.

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I can't tell whether or not your tone here is derisive. ;)

I took it in a condescending way, but maybe I'm wrong. We may be honeymooners but someone has to reply!

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Maybe the "honeymooners" input starts to matter after we've been successful enough to take provocative pictures and post it as our profile picture? Okay if that wasn't snarky than I don't know what it is. And I told myself I wouldn't be bitchy…

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I'm 9 months post RNY, 4 years post band....not sure I qualify as a honeymooner??? But I like the honeymooners! They have an innocence and excitement that a lot of old timers lose so I say post away youngsters!

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I love honeymooners. That Ralph Kramden kills me.

But seriously, is this the vet forum? If not then all should answer...as the question was "what is your food philosophy" not "what is your food philosophy veterans".

Ok....so I have a different approach that really worked for me and I'd like to share. Yes this approach evolved over time but it made sense to me and I don't think it gets much voice around here. I abstained during my weight loss. I had to, I have too many trigger foods and can be lead down that bingeful path too easily.

But once I got to goal, I slowly lessened the reigns a bit to allow a few treats here and there. And not all of those were pure crap foods. I now enjoy sweet potato fries a couple times a month (as an example)....one of my all time favorites. But I stayed away from them during my weight loss. Now when I want something, I will try to add it into my diet. If it crashes my nutritional goals or causes me cravings that I can't control, I scratch it off the list and don't try it again.

My point is you can be strict, without thinking it has to be forever. Letting go of that "all or nothing forever" mentality is liberating.

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For me the main danger of an all or nothing attitude is that it often leads to a falling off the wagon, which is then followed by a f*&k it attitude. In my past.

So while I think complete compliance is important early on, while you still have the new car smell on you, I am positive that I will experiment like Butter when the time comes.

Off topic, I am having a really hard time chewing scrambled eggs. Who knew?

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So many honeymooners have replied to this thread, mostly honeymooners actually, fascinating.

And what exactly is your point? I value all opinions so either contribute or keep it moving.

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I believe in moderation for everything in life.

However, I do hope that I lose interest in certain foods, just because of how unhealthy / damaging it could be.

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I don't think it matters where you are in your journey to answer this particular question. The answer is very personal and depends on an individual's relationship with food. I have 25 pounds left to lose and my philosophy has always been everything in moderation. It works for me and I work out a lot. I'm still working on my relationship with food but I think abstaining will cause more damage as it has in the past. I just wanna be normal, damnit! I may sing a different tune when I'm in maintenance, but this is where I'm at now.

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"Ok....so I have a different approach that really worked for me and I'd like to share. Yes this approach evolved over time but it made sense to me and I don't think it gets much voice around here. I abstained during my weight loss. I had to, I have too many trigger foods and can be lead down that bingeful path too easily.

But once I got to goal, I slowly lessened the reigns a bit to allow a few treats here and there. And not all of those were pure crap foods. I now enjoy sweet potato fries a couple times a month (as an example)....one of my all time favorites. But I stayed away from them during my weight loss. Now when I want something, I will try to add it into my diet. If it crashes my nutritional goals or causes me cravings that I can't control, I scratch it off the list and don't try it again.

My point is you can be strict, without thinking it has to be forever. Letting go of that "all or nothing forever" mentality is liberating."

I am approaching goal and thinking a lot about maintenance at this point. I have the same approach to my weight loss phase and like the maintenance philosophy you are using so will be adopting that once I get there. Thanks for sharing Butter!

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    • Alisa_S

      On day 4 of the 2 week liquid pre-op diet. Surgery scheduled for June 11th.
      Soooo I am coming to a realization
      of something and I'm not sure what to do about it. For years the only thing I've enjoyed is eating. We rarely do anything or go anywhere and if we do it always includes food. Family comes over? Big family dinner! Go camping? Food! Take a short ride or trip? Food! Holiday? Food! Go out of town for a Dr appointment? Food! When we go to a new town we don't look for any attractions, we look for restaurants we haven't been to. Heck, I look forward to getting off work because that means it's almost supper time. Now that I'm drinking these pre-op shakes for breakfast, lunch, and supper I have nothing to look forward to.  And once I have surgery on June 11th it'll be more of the same shakes. Even after pureed stage, soft food stage, and finally regular food stage, it's going to be a drastic change for the rest of my life. I'm giving up the one thing that really brings me joy. Eating. How do you cope with that? What do you do to fill that void? Wow. Now I'm sad.
      · 0 replies
      1. This update has no replies.
    • Alisa_S

      On day 4 of the 2 week liquid pre-op diet. Surgery scheduled for June 11th.
      Soooo I am coming to a realization
      of something and I'm not sure what to do about it. For years the only thing I've enjoyed is eating. We rarely do anything or go anywhere and if we do it always includes food. Family comes over? Big family dinner! Go camping? Food! Take a short ride or trip? Food! Holiday? Food! Go out of town for a Dr appointment? Food! When we go to a new town we don't look for any attractions, we look for restaurants we haven't been to. Heck, I look forward to getting off work because that means it's almost supper time. Now that I'm drinking these pre-op shakes for breakfast, lunch, and supper I have nothing to look forward to.  And once I have surgery on June 11th it'll be more of the same shakes. Even after pureed stage, soft food stage, and finally regular food stage, it's going to be a drastic change for the rest of my life. I'm giving up the one thing that really brings me joy. Eating. How do you cope with that? What do you do to fill that void? Wow. Now I'm sad.
      · 1 reply
      1. summerseeker

        Life as a big person had limited my life to what I knew I could manage to do each day. That was eat. I hadn't anything else to look forward to. So my eating choices were the best I could dream up. I planned the cooking in managable lots in my head and filled my day with and around it.

        Now I have a whole new big, bigger, biggest, best days ever. I am out there with those skinny people doing stuff i could never have dreamt of. Food is now an after thought. It doesn't consume my day. I still enjoy the good home cooked food but I eat smaller portions. I leave food on my plate when I am full. I can no longer hear my mother's voice saying eat it all up, ther are starving children in Africa who would want that!

        I still cook for family feasts, I love cooking. I still do holidays but I have changed from the All inclusive drinking and eating everything everyday kind to Self catering accommodation. This gives me the choice of cooking or eating out as I choose. I rarely drink anymore as I usually travel alone now and I feel I need to keep aware of my surroundings.

        I don't know at what point my life expanded, was it when I lost 100 pounds? Was it when I left my walking stick at home ? Was it when I said yes to an outing instead of finding an excuse to stay home ? i look back at my last five years and wonder how loosing weight has made such a difference. Be ready to amaze yourself.

        BTW, the liquid diet sucks, one more day and you are over the worst. You can do it.

    • CaseyP1011

      Officially here for a long time, not just a good time💪
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    • KimBaxleyWilson

      Three months and four days ago... I was in Costa Rica having a life changing surgery! Yesterday we had a followup visit with Dr. Esmeral via video chat and this morning my middle number changed.  I'm down 47lbs and two pants sizes. I can wear a Large tshirt for the first time in like... 14 years! Woot!! Everything is going great. I have zero regrets. I went down to the riverwalk with a friend and walked 2 miles on Monday without even getting fatigued. And no more snoring or chugging pickle juice for crazy leg cramps! I need to go to the gym more... I'm making new shirts next week so that will motivate me. LOL But I'm also just not as TIRED all the time! I have a LONG way to go...but seeing the progress on the scales and in the mirror is a huge motivator!! Thank you all for cheering me on and supporting me!!
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      https://alluniqueguide.com/java-burn-coffee-reviews/
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