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What Does Lap Band Mean To Your Partner?

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  • In my opinion, Being in a relationship means giving that person everything they need to be happy. It's up to them to decide what that is... Communication is key to keeping you both on track with mak

  • ☠carolinagirl☠
    ☠carolinagirl☠

    what it means to my ole man is that he got his happy/healthy wife back.... and boy it is ever nice to be and feel alive again........the band/plication i have gave me hope, courage and alittle kick

  • Trust me, it takes time and a lot of patience! Keep up the great work!

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"Man in her life or not, she was not going to let her weight become an obstacle in her moving on with life." Wow, just wow! What a great guy you have there! And way to go for doing this for YOU and no one else. Sounds like you guys are lucky to have each other. I'm in awe right now.

  • Author

"Man in her life or not, she was not going to let her weight become an obstacle in her moving on with life." Wow, just wow! What a great guy you have there! And way to go for doing this for YOU and no one else. Sounds like you guys are lucky to have each other. I'm in awe right now.

Yes I feel very blessed! Now if I can just figure out how to make friends with my band...life will all make sense...lol

For my partner I know this has been hard. A big part of our bonding was over food. One of the things that has been really hard is a way that my partner shows love to family, pets and me is food!! This makes it really hard for me at times. She will bring me foods I should not have, and I eat sometimes only because I think she needs to eat. I wonder if other people have this issue and how they deal with it. Sometimes I wonder if its because she doesn't want me to succeed, or if she is testing me.... ugh. I get upset because I do cave in to it more times than not-- and was actually disappointed last night when she went to the store and did not bring me anything-- EVEN though last time she did I told her NOT TO!! Cant be easy being in a relationship with an overeater... I don't know how she does it!

For my partner I know this has been hard. A big part of our bonding was over food. One of the things that has been really hard is a way that my partner shows love to family, pets and me is food!! This makes it really hard for me at times. She will bring me foods I should not have, and I eat sometimes only because I think she needs to eat. I wonder if other people have this issue and how they deal with it. Sometimes I wonder if its because she doesn't want me to succeed, or if she is testing me.... ugh. I get upset because I do cave in to it more times than not-- and was actually disappointed last night when she went to the store and did not bring me anything-- EVEN though last time she did I told her NOT TO!! Cant be easy being in a relationship with an overeater... I don't know how she does it!

None of us is a walk in the park, that's for sure -- and I'm talking about human beings, not just those of us who are over-eaters. Do you think it's time for a serious sit-down talk about how important this is for your healthy future? Maybe if there is absolute clarity about what you need -- and don't need (like being brought food) then it will be easier for her to find other ways to show her love to you. Maybe she's not sure how absolute your commitment to this is. You were committed enough to go through surgery, which is a very big step. But you still have to take care of your end of the bargain. I'll bet she could help with that if she knew exactly what you need. I have my husband prepare bottles of Water for me, with my splash of cranberry and aloe juice. He'll bring me that drink, just the way he used to bring me glasses of wine. The wine and cheese party is over, but a nice cup of herbal tea is pretty great. It comes with love. And just because he's hungry and doing the grazing that I used to do with him does not mean that it's time for me to eat. He has actually cut down on that quite a bit and will be healthier himself now that I'm not indulging alongside him. But when he Snacks and goes back for more food, etc., I just need to sip my juice and sometimes zip my lips. Wishing you the very best. This can be hard on a relationship but there's nothing more important than getting it right.

Thanks for the blog, Debbie -- he's a keeper, that's for sure. Have a great day!

  • Author

In my opinion, Being in a relationship means giving that person everything they need to be happy. It's up to them to decide what that is... Communication is key to keeping you both on track with making each other happy. It's no picnic...My boyfriend is a fast food junkie! But I have learned little tricks to help...

When your partner goes to the store, ask her to bring you something healthier like a Protein bar instead of candy bar...She gets to treat you and you still get to enjoy that "snack" together without the damage...lol

At night when we watch a movie, he likes his popcorn, I make this for him but then I grab my sugar free chocolate pudding. I'm still snacking with him just not ruining my new lifestyle.

This is a learning time for all of us, our partners included. We just need to find a new way to do things...

Wishing everyone success in life, love and lapband...

what it means to my ole man is that he got his happy/healthy wife back....

and boy it is ever nice to be and feel alive again........the band/plication i have gave

me hope, courage and alittle kick in the a*ss to let me get well.....nearly 150 pounds loss

and (this) close to where i would like to be.....

what it means to him and me is LIFE worth living.

what it means to my ole man is that he got his happy/healthy wife back....

and boy it is ever nice to be and feel alive again........the band/plication i have gave

me hope, courage and alittle kick in the a*ss to let me get well.....nearly 150 pounds loss

and (this) close to where i would like to be.....

what it means to him and me is LIFE worth living.

Wow u have achieved a tremendous goal. I haven't been as true but I am getting better and finding my weak and strong points towards eating and losing. I still haven't mastered eat sliwly and chew alot...some foods just don't want to stay down. But it's getting fewer and far between so I am learning. With my 20 pills...used to be 33...its difficult but doable just have to remember slow is the goal...you have inspired me today. I am vacationing in Hawaii and I do believe I've lost weight which tells me I'm eating too much or wrong stuff at home and not getting out enough. But gym plan start 12-5 . Should be home for Thanksgiving...and I have alot to be thankful for....Happy Thanksgiving to you and family too. Have a wonderful day.

wow what a great blog entry. He is someone who 'gets it' and is being supportive. So many post on this website that they don't have this kind of support from significant others. Sounds like he has a very open mind about it all and too bad that open mindness was not contagious.

Congratulations on your journey and I wish you both much happiness!!

  • Author

Thank you!! You should post this on the blog as a comment so he can see it! I'm sure he would love the compliment!

And, I'm not sure I could do all this on my own if he wasn't as supportive as he is. he does make it easier...He's a keeper!

New blog coming soon about thanksgiving week though...I gained 3 lbs!!

Having your life partner share your life with you for the good the bad and the ugly is a truly amazing thing. I have to say I am very lucky to share my journey with my husband.

We went through the trials and tribulations together about whether or not to be banded we went through the testing together and the surgery 3 days apart.

While our journey's are different we are able to support each other when we have milestones and when we have set backs.

Things that make my band tight just don't affect him, and things that make him PB don't affect me but we are there to support each other with love and empathy through it all and I am so grateful for that.

I can tell you from personal experience that not having your partner be supportive of you no matter what your goals are in life can be devastating.

Great post Thank you for sharing.

  • Author

You are lucky in that you have someone going through the same things you are. My boyfriend is not overweight at all. He's 6'4" and 200 lbs. He eats and drinks whatever he wants and doesn't gain anything, however, he does love me and he is very supportive of any decision I make. I am very grateful to have him.

I too have had to go thru a couple not-so-supportive partners in the past...it did make things worse even if I can't blame anyone else but me for getting to the point where I needed WLS.

Life is good now and I look forward to the journey...the good, the bad and the ugly....lol

I love to cook and I love to eat!!! I've lost 130lbs with the lap band and just 3 weeks ago had a panniculectomy. Huge procedure and it's been a rough recovery!!

When thinking about what I wanted in a partner.... I wanted someone that loves to eat!! Let me tell you.... I found her!!! Having the lap band before I met her.... She just always knew I ate slowly and much less. She also eats VERY fast... Soooooo she has to sit there while I eat!!! Hahaaaa .... I order what works best for me. I don't feel bad about it. I still cook amazing good and I love to feed people. I eat everything but don't stuff myself!!! I have the best of both worlds!!!

  • Author

I love to cook and I love to eat!!! I've lost 130lbs with the lap band and just 3 weeks ago had a panniculectomy. Huge procedure and it's been a rough recovery!!

When thinking about what I wanted in a partner.... I wanted someone that loves to eat!! Let me tell you.... I found her!!! Having the lap band before I met her.... She just always knew I ate slowly and much less. She also eats VERY fast... Soooooo she has to sit there while I eat!!! Hahaaaa .... I order what works best for me. I don't feel bad about it. I still cook amazing good and I love to feed people. I eat everything but don't stuff myself!!! I have the best of both worlds!!!

What is a panniculectomy?

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