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I'm Sick Of People Telling Me I'm Not Fat!



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Look, only you know what you need to lose when you take it all off. I'm trying to figure out what I will tell people when I start dropping the pounds without lying. Good Luck!

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Really Seela?

Your recent attempt at humor was lacking. Correct me if I am mistaken but black people do not use foundation because they are black ("blackness" is not something to be hidden or corrected) just as white people do not use foundation because they are white. Of all the analogies in the universe this was your choice of words? Seems a bit odd, mismatched and underhanded. Hopefully your future comments will have more thought and consideration prior to posting. Have a great day.

Omg!!! That wasn't a dig... I don't think black is a bad word any more than I think fat is. I was talking about make-up... and last time I checked a lot of women of all colors do wear make up. It wasn't personal or defamitory... I think you are being way overly sensitive, as this wasn't directed at anyone. I could easily have said one of my white friends and 'you aren't that white'! What difference does it make. The comment didn't have ANYTHING to do with race until you went there. I used a similar analogy the other day... something about wearing glasses.. not one person that wears glasses took it personal. I'm sorry you took it that way, but really???

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Omg!!! That wasn't a dig... I don't think black is a bad word any more than I think fat is. I was talking about make-up... and last time I checked a lot of women of all colors do wear make up. It wasn't personal or defamitory... I think you are being way overly sensitive, as this wasn't directed at anyone. I could easily have said one of my white friends and 'you aren't that white'! What difference does it make. The comment didn't have ANYTHING to do with race until you went there. I used a similar analogy the other day... something about wearing glasses.. not one person that wears glasses took it personal. I'm sorry you took it that way, but really???

yes Seela really. If you have ever read any of my posts and comments then it would be very clear that sensitive is not a word used by anyone to ever describe me. this was not about make up. now had you said something about one of your friends with bad acne scars or someone with chicken pox looking for foundation it would have been clearly understood. however, race is NEVER going to be an accetable topic to crack jokes about on this forum or any other. live and learn. good day.

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I have been getting the same reactions from people and it's making me really question myself. I have heard you aren't that big and you don't have that much to loose why can't you do it yourself. I've heard it so much I am wondering why I can't do it myself? I am going crazy with self doubts now. I really need to find a way to shake it off and get back on a positive foot.

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I had folks tell me I wasn't "fat enough" to have wls. I'm so thankful I didn't listen..obviously as I've lost some have changed tune and it's like all of a sudden realize just how "fat" I really was. Obviously I wouldn't have qualified if I didn't meet the requirements. sleep apnea, hypertension, insulin resistance, pcos, high cholesterol and a few others..gone. I stopped trying to defend my actions to people who obviously didn't know what was best for me. Thankful every single day now I sought the help I needed out and had such a wonderful life changing experience.

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I STILL have people telling me that...I recently found a work ID with a photo of me at 300+, I've started flashing it when someone says 'you were never THAT big' the facial expressions are AWESOME :D

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Some people have said that to me, and I would reply oh ok so let me gain another 100 lbs so I can fit your description of what's fat enough for surgery!!!!! People are so quick to say remarks but be the first person to hate on you when you do lose the weight!.........I am 5'6" 266 lbs bmi: 43.4... I am fat enough for me!!!!!

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Really Seela?

Your recent attempt at humor was lacking. Correct me if I am mistaken but black people do not use foundation because they are black ("blackness" is not something to be hidden or corrected) just as white people do not use foundation because they are white. Of all the analogies in the universe this was your choice of words? Seems a bit odd, mismatched and underhanded. Hopefully your future comments will have more thought and consideration prior to posting. Have a great day.

Thank you. I thought I was overreacting so I stayed quiet for once.

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Omg!!! That wasn't a dig... I don't think black is a bad word any more than I think fat is. I was talking about make-up... and last time I checked a lot of women of all colors do wear make up. It wasn't personal or defamitory... I think you are being way overly sensitive, as this wasn't directed at anyone. I could easily have said one of my white friends and 'you aren't that white'! What difference does it make. The comment didn't have ANYTHING to do with race until you went there. I used a similar analogy the other day... something about wearing glasses.. not one person that wears glasses took it personal. I'm sorry you took it that way, but really???

I don't think you MEANT it in a derogatory manner, but it was still a bizarre and off-putting analogy IMO.

Fat is considered a negative trait, race or color should not be.

"You are not THAT fat" could be construed as a poorly worded compliment where "you are not THAT black" cannot be.

Your zit isn't THAT angry looking, your hair doesn't look THAT bad today, the ice cream you dripped down your shirt isn't THAT noticeable...

Throwing a person's skin color in there just doesn't fit.

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I think you are absolutely right. .. still frustrating though. I mean if one of my black friends was looking for foundation I wouldn't say.. oh your not THAT black! Haha

WTH? HIGHLY offensive! Do you actually have any African American friends? Seems that if you did you would know that we don't wear foundation to appear lighter!

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WTH? HIGHLY offensive! Do you actually have any African American friends? Seems that if you did you would know that we don't wear foundation to appear lighter!

I truly don't think she meant it in a derogatory manner. Thoughtless choice of words, yes. Racial comment, no. :)

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Same for me, I am 5'3 and was 202 pounds, but I carry it well, my surgeon weighed me twice he could not believe I weighed that much. I have high BP and high cholesterol, ans sleep apnea that is the only way I qualified for surgery. It is frustrating when people say that you are not heavy, well I am now 167, and they are telling me I am skinny. REALLY...I agree I look better, health is better, but you are not in my shoes..shut up hahaha..tired oh hearing it already..

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    • Alisa_S

      On day 4 of the 2 week liquid pre-op diet. Surgery scheduled for June 11th.
      Soooo I am coming to a realization
      of something and I'm not sure what to do about it. For years the only thing I've enjoyed is eating. We rarely do anything or go anywhere and if we do it always includes food. Family comes over? Big family dinner! Go camping? Food! Take a short ride or trip? Food! Holiday? Food! Go out of town for a Dr appointment? Food! When we go to a new town we don't look for any attractions, we look for restaurants we haven't been to. Heck, I look forward to getting off work because that means it's almost supper time. Now that I'm drinking these pre-op shakes for breakfast, lunch, and supper I have nothing to look forward to.  And once I have surgery on June 11th it'll be more of the same shakes. Even after pureed stage, soft food stage, and finally regular food stage, it's going to be a drastic change for the rest of my life. I'm giving up the one thing that really brings me joy. Eating. How do you cope with that? What do you do to fill that void? Wow. Now I'm sad.
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    • Alisa_S

      On day 4 of the 2 week liquid pre-op diet. Surgery scheduled for June 11th.
      Soooo I am coming to a realization
      of something and I'm not sure what to do about it. For years the only thing I've enjoyed is eating. We rarely do anything or go anywhere and if we do it always includes food. Family comes over? Big family dinner! Go camping? Food! Take a short ride or trip? Food! Holiday? Food! Go out of town for a Dr appointment? Food! When we go to a new town we don't look for any attractions, we look for restaurants we haven't been to. Heck, I look forward to getting off work because that means it's almost supper time. Now that I'm drinking these pre-op shakes for breakfast, lunch, and supper I have nothing to look forward to.  And once I have surgery on June 11th it'll be more of the same shakes. Even after pureed stage, soft food stage, and finally regular food stage, it's going to be a drastic change for the rest of my life. I'm giving up the one thing that really brings me joy. Eating. How do you cope with that? What do you do to fill that void? Wow. Now I'm sad.
      · 1 reply
      1. summerseeker

        Life as a big person had limited my life to what I knew I could manage to do each day. That was eat. I hadn't anything else to look forward to. So my eating choices were the best I could dream up. I planned the cooking in managable lots in my head and filled my day with and around it.

        Now I have a whole new big, bigger, biggest, best days ever. I am out there with those skinny people doing stuff i could never have dreamt of. Food is now an after thought. It doesn't consume my day. I still enjoy the good home cooked food but I eat smaller portions. I leave food on my plate when I am full. I can no longer hear my mother's voice saying eat it all up, ther are starving children in Africa who would want that!

        I still cook for family feasts, I love cooking. I still do holidays but I have changed from the All inclusive drinking and eating everything everyday kind to Self catering accommodation. This gives me the choice of cooking or eating out as I choose. I rarely drink anymore as I usually travel alone now and I feel I need to keep aware of my surroundings.

        I don't know at what point my life expanded, was it when I lost 100 pounds? Was it when I left my walking stick at home ? Was it when I said yes to an outing instead of finding an excuse to stay home ? i look back at my last five years and wonder how loosing weight has made such a difference. Be ready to amaze yourself.

        BTW, the liquid diet sucks, one more day and you are over the worst. You can do it.

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    • KimBaxleyWilson

      Three months and four days ago... I was in Costa Rica having a life changing surgery! Yesterday we had a followup visit with Dr. Esmeral via video chat and this morning my middle number changed.  I'm down 47lbs and two pants sizes. I can wear a Large tshirt for the first time in like... 14 years! Woot!! Everything is going great. I have zero regrets. I went down to the riverwalk with a friend and walked 2 miles on Monday without even getting fatigued. And no more snoring or chugging pickle juice for crazy leg cramps! I need to go to the gym more... I'm making new shirts next week so that will motivate me. LOL But I'm also just not as TIRED all the time! I have a LONG way to go...but seeing the progress on the scales and in the mirror is a huge motivator!! Thank you all for cheering me on and supporting me!!
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