I am so sad I feel like going somewhere and hiding. I hopefully will get my surgery in march due to my insurance. I have a 6 months process I need to complete before surgery. I am approaching the third month..... In which I am very excited About, however it is extremely uncomfortable and embarrassing for me to even attend family gatherings and events due to my noticeable weight gain. I never would have seen myself here in a million years Nd I get so upset with myself a lot. I traveled to Virginia today for my nephews 1st birthday although I feel so out of place even though I am around family I feel like crying. I notice people looking at me strange like close family friends that I haven't seen in years. I almost did not come to the party because of my weight. Just tonight As I help clean and set up for the party my mother pulled me to the side and gave me that look that I am so familiar with. She asked "did u stop going to the gym?" I became so defensive and went upstairs to the guest room to cry. I seriously don't want to be here I hate to seem so selfish but I have been emotional ever since. I not only need march to come a lot faster but I am so anxious to start this new life.

Listen, I know how you feel..I went to a wedding this past summer. It was on everyone's face how big I was . Then I went home and my mom sd..you are soooo big. You are soooo big b/you care for everyone else but not yourself. Nice mom. Sigh. Well, I leave Sunday and have the sleeve Monday. Just you remember this, you are on your way.. But do go to the gym and walk. Because you will heal faster after surgery .. So just you remember, u have a surprise in store for everyone!!!

Yea it's gets very emotional at times. I am very excited about march and I do work out I just sometimes feel more content At home and not in public, even around family. But I will get over it, congrats on your sleeve by the way = )

I have been in your position more times than I can count. You put yourself aside and showed up to be there for your family which is most important. The thing about being over weight is that people can see right away what we are struggling with which gives them immediate power to make judgments, however, most of those same people have things that they are struggling with that we can't see from just looking on the outside. I know that it's difficult now but your strength comes from situations like this and it will allow you to live up to the actual saying of "beautiful inside and out" not many people can effectively fill these shows, your level of compassion and empathy will be well beyond average due to the judgments that you've had to endure. Between now and march you should certainly try to come to a understanding with yourself that you are a survivor and have a totally different life to look forward to which you greatly deserve.

You are in the same place I was. I despised family get togethers. I was embarrassed at restaurants because I thought people were watching my every move so they could judge me.

For Thanksgiving one year my SIL baked fish for me because she thought it was a way to encourage me to eat healthy. I was devastated.

[ I grew up thin. When I had my children I gained some weight and exploded after I adopted my abused niece and discovered food made me feel good when my life was out of control.

My nickname growing up was String-bean Janine. I gained so much weight that I lost myself and swelled on how fat I had become.

It's an awful disease-obesity.

I was sleeved on 9/24/13 and have lost 35 pounds. What I've gained is my old self! I am happy, I'm showing off the changes and love to wear clothes that aren't baggy.

Don't misunderstand-I still have a long way to go (75 lbs) but I FINALLY feel I can do this and not fail.

My boss tells me I am 'bubbly' and glow. I agree-I feel great! ]

The insurance game is the hardest part. When you get to March you're journey will change course! The first week is the hardest and expect an emotional roller coaster.

My suggestion is to keep your eyes on the goal and stay off the scales during the first 4-6 weeks.

Good Luck!

Thank you everyone for the thoughtful comments You just don't know how much you all have inspired me. One thing about me when I am down or depressed I am able to put my "big girl panties" on and get over it. I will continue to post and support us "sleevers" and continue to update!!!!!

Jazzell, Every single one of these amazing people on this forum has been where you are. Just know that you are on a journey to somewhere else now. These are the last months that you're going to have experiences like this.

Personally, I hated seeing family more and more the higher my weight got. I have in laws in England, and I promised we would come see them last summer. We didn't because I was dreading being seen. But now, with surgery behind me, the weight is falling off. We're booked to see them over Christmas. I'm still nowhere near my goal, but it's a whole lot better than how I felt last summer, 50 lbs ago.

You must not be so hard on yourself, we all have made poor choices in our life but you are on your way when you made the choice to become healthy, although this is a tough and emotional time for you I want you to remember one thing, you are LOVED take one day at a time and do not focus on the exact surgery date. Give your self credit for making good choices when you choose your meals and remember that you are working toward a healthier you. If your family members and friend are not supportive , we are here for you. I also suggest that you get a journal and start writing your feelings down, this has help me prepare for my impending surgery. I have to do a 6 month weight management, and I am in month 4. You are stronger and braver then you think. Anytime you need to talk we are here or you can email me. I look forward to your post, vents, as well as high and lows.

• So....... Depressed In Need Of Support Plwase = (

hun

i can't improve on what has been said above

i just wanted to add my "caring" thoughts

i always did get the glares, stares - mainly from my mom

life can/is hard when you are overweight, and feel every last lb

finish your necessary 3 months for insurance purposes

march will be here before you know it

try and stop crying and feeling embarrassed

lift your head up high

you can and will be successful

heres to the start of your new healthier, happier, longer life

good luck

kathy

Yea it's gets very emotional at times. I am very excited about march and I do work out I just sometimes feel more content At home and not in public, even around family. But I will get over it, congrats on your sleeve by the way = )

I am just like you..I am more comfortable at home too..but I am gonna force myself to walk on the treadmill at the gym and watch Frazier! Lol. I totally get you, you are on your way. Pray for me on Monday, please!

One good thing is that we ALL know what you're dealing with. I have 5 siblings and I am the only one who is overweight. I am always trying to hide behind them so my body doesn't show so much in the photos. It's hard enough to attend to the family gathering without having everyone see the group pics pop up on facebook so all my peeps can see. I know that my friends/family will love me no matter how much I weigh, but I need/want to be able to LOVE myself.

I missed a family funeral last Sunday. It was my husband's uncle (who I loved). Jim was okay with me not going because he knew the reason, my weight. I have missed so many weddings, funerals, Jim's work parties, gatherings with friends & family, etc. This will all be in the past after Monday!!!

Although many parts of your story is the same as mine, I have never had anyone take me aside and say anything negative to me. I FEEL FOR YOU!!! Chin up because YOU are already on your way and March will be here before you know it!

You can email me too!!!