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Feeling like a failure (vent)



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I was sleeved 10/22/12. My starting weight was 285lbs day of surgery. Now, almost a year later I am only down 70lbs. I know that it is not horrible weight loss but, my goal was -100lbs for my one year post op weigh in. I feel like a complete failure. I also feel like some of the side effects that my doctor had told me would happen (loss of appetite/feeling full quicker) have never happened with me. I do get full but only after I've already eaten almost double what I should have. I've never had a loss of appetite... infact sometimes I feel uncontrollable hunger and after eating a meal, I will continue to eat after the fullness sensation has worn off (usually 1 hour after) Sometimes after I eat I do feel extremely nauseous, weak and sometimes even get a little sweaty and have to immediately lay down. ((CAUTION TMI)) During these moments of agony I always need to run to the bathroom and have a painful, foul smelling loose bm. I have been treated for anemia and B12 deficiency the past month and still feel very depressed and fatigued. I have ZERO energy and almost feel like I'm giving up sub consciously... I haven't lost more than 10lbs in the past 5 months. I am feeling so down and depressed. This is a vicious cycle that is so hard to overcome. food addiction-> slow progress-> depression-> lack of energy-> back to food addiction. I hope I can snap out of this. I still have -40 lbs to lose until I will be satisfied.

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Since I am still pre-op, i dont know that I can help, but can you go back to basics?? Or try the 5:2 diet?? Maybe you just need to change up your diet to jumpstart the weight loss again.

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Little friend, I do feel your frustration and pain. You have lost 70 pounds, and that is a fine start! Maybe make October 15th your "new" surgical date and do a restart. Go to a 2 week liquid fast and then soft foods. During this time set a daily meal plan. Be strict.

Also try to see what is causing your GI distress, it is likely a food or food combination.

Lastly, it is OK to talk with a therapist... We all have issues related to our brain and food.

Good luck and please do not give up!

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I so know how you feel. Our starting weight and lbs lost are similar. My yr is up in 6 weeks. I am just maintaining. I have that down pat. I had that loose stool for the first 6-7 months. I also want to loose the last 23 lbs. My problem is the carb monster has gotten back in my life. That is why I want to eat. They make you hungry. Best of luck on your journey. We have to succeed.

I noticed that you are very young. You are so lucky to have this opportunity to have this tool early in life. Please exercise more and dump the carbs until you get to goal. I am routing for you.

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I have lost 66 lbs in 1 year. Have been the same weight now for 6 months. I have given up losing anymore as I have done everything. Gone back to shakes, exercised and drank Water. I cant lose the last 44lbs. So this is my weight I guess I will be forever. I feel ripped off badly. So bloody depressed.

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I am hardly a vet and feel weird giving advice to someone so far ahead of me. So feel free to disregard. But you talk about eating to the point of agony, and it sounds like you know you are going to be in agony when you make that decision. You also talk about food addiction and depression. If you aren't already, would you consider seeking counseling/therapy? I know the saying is trite, but it's true that the surgery fixes our stomach, not our brains. I'm a big fan of behavioral therapy, but of course you would want to seek out whatever makes you feel like you will make the most progress.

Best wishes to you.

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The TMI part of your post made me think about Celiac (gluten intolerance). I was diagnosed 6 yrs. ago, and I NEVER EVER thought I would have it--I am a carb. addict, after all. Maybe the next time you are getting blood work done, you could ask them to check that for you too. It can cause weight gain/retention, for those of us "lucky" enough to have weight issues.

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    • Alisa_S

      On day 4 of the 2 week liquid pre-op diet. Surgery scheduled for June 11th.
      Soooo I am coming to a realization
      of something and I'm not sure what to do about it. For years the only thing I've enjoyed is eating. We rarely do anything or go anywhere and if we do it always includes food. Family comes over? Big family dinner! Go camping? Food! Take a short ride or trip? Food! Holiday? Food! Go out of town for a Dr appointment? Food! When we go to a new town we don't look for any attractions, we look for restaurants we haven't been to. Heck, I look forward to getting off work because that means it's almost supper time. Now that I'm drinking these pre-op shakes for breakfast, lunch, and supper I have nothing to look forward to.  And once I have surgery on June 11th it'll be more of the same shakes. Even after pureed stage, soft food stage, and finally regular food stage, it's going to be a drastic change for the rest of my life. I'm giving up the one thing that really brings me joy. Eating. How do you cope with that? What do you do to fill that void? Wow. Now I'm sad.
      · 0 replies
      1. This update has no replies.
    • Alisa_S

      On day 4 of the 2 week liquid pre-op diet. Surgery scheduled for June 11th.
      Soooo I am coming to a realization
      of something and I'm not sure what to do about it. For years the only thing I've enjoyed is eating. We rarely do anything or go anywhere and if we do it always includes food. Family comes over? Big family dinner! Go camping? Food! Take a short ride or trip? Food! Holiday? Food! Go out of town for a Dr appointment? Food! When we go to a new town we don't look for any attractions, we look for restaurants we haven't been to. Heck, I look forward to getting off work because that means it's almost supper time. Now that I'm drinking these pre-op shakes for breakfast, lunch, and supper I have nothing to look forward to.  And once I have surgery on June 11th it'll be more of the same shakes. Even after pureed stage, soft food stage, and finally regular food stage, it's going to be a drastic change for the rest of my life. I'm giving up the one thing that really brings me joy. Eating. How do you cope with that? What do you do to fill that void? Wow. Now I'm sad.
      · 1 reply
      1. summerseeker

        Life as a big person had limited my life to what I knew I could manage to do each day. That was eat. I hadn't anything else to look forward to. So my eating choices were the best I could dream up. I planned the cooking in managable lots in my head and filled my day with and around it.

        Now I have a whole new big, bigger, biggest, best days ever. I am out there with those skinny people doing stuff i could never have dreamt of. Food is now an after thought. It doesn't consume my day. I still enjoy the good home cooked food but I eat smaller portions. I leave food on my plate when I am full. I can no longer hear my mother's voice saying eat it all up, ther are starving children in Africa who would want that!

        I still cook for family feasts, I love cooking. I still do holidays but I have changed from the All inclusive drinking and eating everything everyday kind to Self catering accommodation. This gives me the choice of cooking or eating out as I choose. I rarely drink anymore as I usually travel alone now and I feel I need to keep aware of my surroundings.

        I don't know at what point my life expanded, was it when I lost 100 pounds? Was it when I left my walking stick at home ? Was it when I said yes to an outing instead of finding an excuse to stay home ? i look back at my last five years and wonder how loosing weight has made such a difference. Be ready to amaze yourself.

        BTW, the liquid diet sucks, one more day and you are over the worst. You can do it.

    • CaseyP1011

      Officially here for a long time, not just a good time💪
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    • KimBaxleyWilson

      Three months and four days ago... I was in Costa Rica having a life changing surgery! Yesterday we had a followup visit with Dr. Esmeral via video chat and this morning my middle number changed.  I'm down 47lbs and two pants sizes. I can wear a Large tshirt for the first time in like... 14 years! Woot!! Everything is going great. I have zero regrets. I went down to the riverwalk with a friend and walked 2 miles on Monday without even getting fatigued. And no more snoring or chugging pickle juice for crazy leg cramps! I need to go to the gym more... I'm making new shirts next week so that will motivate me. LOL But I'm also just not as TIRED all the time! I have a LONG way to go...but seeing the progress on the scales and in the mirror is a huge motivator!! Thank you all for cheering me on and supporting me!!
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      https://alluniqueguide.com/java-burn-coffee-reviews/
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