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Does eating out become awkward after VSG?



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I'm wondering how folks tackle having to eat so little in social situations.

At work, I sometimes do group lunches and dinners and I'm wondering how to deal with not eating/drinking much (didn't tell them about surgery).

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I don't find it awkward. If we order out for lunch, I'll ask for a salad with Grilled chicken, Or chicken salad/tuna salad over lettuce. I've even ordered a "sub" ( typically turkey w/ some fresh mozzarella cheese and no bread, just over lettuce. and just add a little oil and red wine vinegar. Eat slow, enjoy the conversation and have a container ready for the leftovers. I've found, the only people who notice my smaller portions are folks that know about my surgery.

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Honestly it's gotten EASIER for me. I have been eating out with clients since I was in my soft foods phase and never, not once, has anyone asked me why I am eating what I do, or why am I not eating etc.

Pre-sleeve, I used to worry about what I ordered because I didn't want people to judge the quality or quantity or what I ordered, and didn't want them to look at my food and go "So THAT'S why she's fat!"

Now, it's so much easier. I get a little Protein, I enjoy it, I enjoy the social aspects of it, and it's all good. No one else notices nor cares.

I decided if someone said something, I was just going to say "I'm not that hungry right now". But I haven't had a chance to say that yet because no one has noticed! :)

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The thing I have noticed is that the smaller you get, the less people actually notice how little you eat. They assume you are a slim person who doesn't eat much rather than someone eating less to stay slim... A subtle distinction but most people believe you will be in the first category.

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3 weeks after surgery, I attended a wedding and then a banquet. Both times, I ate the Protein and moved the food around my plate. No noticed and no one asked why I was eating to little.

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I order appetizers, Soup, or (if they let you) off the child's menu. But I have been very open about my surgery, so everyone I dine out with already knows that I'm not going to eat much.

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The only thing I ever had trouble with is not ordering a drink. I really just didn't want one around afraid I'd drink out of habit. You know, out of sight/out of mind. The waitress/waiter would always ask, "are you sure you don't want anything to drink?? You sure? Really?" Lol. I once even got the, "but Water is free." ... So now when I first sit I say, "no thank you. I don't drink with my meals." And that seems to work perfectly. And Indigo 1991 was right, once you lose lbs, no one seems to notice what you eat. It just seems normal.

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The only thing I ever had trouble with is not ordering a drink. I really just didn't want one around afraid I'd drink out of habit. You know' date=' out of sight/out of mind. The waitress/waiter would always ask, "are you sure you don't want anything to drink?? You sure? Really?" Lol. I once even got the, "but Water is free." ... So now when I first sit I say, "no thank you. I don't drink with my meals." And that seems to work perfectly. And Indigo 1991 was right, once you lose lbs, no one seems to notice what you eat. It just seems normal.[/quote']

I went out to eat with my family for the first time post op a couple of weeks ago and the waitress was shocked beyond belief about me not wanting a drink. She saw me hand my Water glass to my husband. Asked me if I wanted a soda. I said no thanks. She pressed on with iced tea (no), cocktail (no) wine (no) and she said, you don't want ANYTHING to drink? I said very nicely "I don't drink with meals" and she exclaimed loudly "you don't drink with meals? Never heard THAT before". Good thing I was with my family, who obviously know about my surgery. She embarrassed me. And by the way, this was at a very nice steak house.

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Not really. I went on a date the other week and was nervous about this too. I ordered the quiche and it also came with a huge potion of those Breakfast potatoes. I ate half the quiche and picked at the potatoes. The guy didn't notice anything out of the ordinary and I just ate slowly and enjoyed the conversation more than just hovering my food like before :)

I'm 5.5 months out and I can usually eat half my plate when we're out which, for many normal "thin" people, is average. My mom eats the same amount as me.

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I went out to eat with my family for the first time post op a couple of weeks ago and the waitress was shocked beyond belief about me not wanting a drink. She saw me hand my Water glass to my husband. Asked me if I wanted a soda. I said no thanks. She pressed on with iced tea (no), cocktail (no) wine (no) and she said, you don't want ANYTHING to drink? I said very nicely "I don't drink with meals" and she exclaimed loudly "you don't drink with meals? Never heard THAT before". Good thing I was with my family, who obviously know about my surgery. She embarrassed me. And by the way, this was at a very nice steak house.

Oh WOW!! Haha

And I'm not sure why.. But I was wondering if anyone else experiences the same thing... When I have a waiter or waitress who is of a different nationality (mainly Hispanic or Asian) they never seem to make a big deal of it like Americans do. Is drinking with meals a cultural thing?? Or more about better service?

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I don't ever have an issue and the very few times I do I ignore them after the first no thank you. I don't give in to an argument or continuing the conversation. My body language is very obvious that the conversation is done or for shock value I just say I don't have a stomach but thanks and continue speaking to whoever I am with.

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I try to just order an appetizer, but times that I ordered an entree I've had the chef come out to make sure I liked it since I barely touched it. This has happened twice and is quite embarrassing.

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I had the issue of "you don't even want a glass of Water? " Now, I just order a glass and push it away to save the headache/embarrassment. You learn to pick your battles.

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I eat out often and haven't had a problem (sleeved for 3 mths, banded for 4 yrs previously). I was banded for 4 yrs tho and have had lotso practice.I never order off the kids menu (who wants chicken nuggets or pizza) and I always end up taking 2/3 to 3/4 of my food home. If I order a salad, I alwasy order the dressing on the sidde cuz I end up taking most of it home and it'll get soggy with dressing.

I guess I'm a different kind of sleever cuz I eat whatever I want, just a few bites of it. I eat sandwiches, burgers, corndogs, pizza, tacos, etc. 1 Taco Bell taco is a meal and a snack for me.

I had wls so I wouldn't have to diet again.

So no, I don't find it awkward to go out to eat.

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I went out to eat for the 1st time since sleeved 6 wks ago and it was with boyfriends coworkers.....we were at the Olive Garden, I did not eat the salad or the breadsticks and as everyone was passing around those items I just said no thank you and nobody questioned it.....I ordered the seafood bordello which is on the new lighter fair menu....it was scallops, shrimp and tilapia in a wine sauce....I had my usual 5 or 6 bites and took the rest home....again nobody said a word.....so I guess so far so good

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    • Alisa_S

      On day 4 of the 2 week liquid pre-op diet. Surgery scheduled for June 11th.
      Soooo I am coming to a realization
      of something and I'm not sure what to do about it. For years the only thing I've enjoyed is eating. We rarely do anything or go anywhere and if we do it always includes food. Family comes over? Big family dinner! Go camping? Food! Take a short ride or trip? Food! Holiday? Food! Go out of town for a Dr appointment? Food! When we go to a new town we don't look for any attractions, we look for restaurants we haven't been to. Heck, I look forward to getting off work because that means it's almost supper time. Now that I'm drinking these pre-op shakes for breakfast, lunch, and supper I have nothing to look forward to.  And once I have surgery on June 11th it'll be more of the same shakes. Even after pureed stage, soft food stage, and finally regular food stage, it's going to be a drastic change for the rest of my life. I'm giving up the one thing that really brings me joy. Eating. How do you cope with that? What do you do to fill that void? Wow. Now I'm sad.
      · 0 replies
      1. This update has no replies.
    • Alisa_S

      On day 4 of the 2 week liquid pre-op diet. Surgery scheduled for June 11th.
      Soooo I am coming to a realization
      of something and I'm not sure what to do about it. For years the only thing I've enjoyed is eating. We rarely do anything or go anywhere and if we do it always includes food. Family comes over? Big family dinner! Go camping? Food! Take a short ride or trip? Food! Holiday? Food! Go out of town for a Dr appointment? Food! When we go to a new town we don't look for any attractions, we look for restaurants we haven't been to. Heck, I look forward to getting off work because that means it's almost supper time. Now that I'm drinking these pre-op shakes for breakfast, lunch, and supper I have nothing to look forward to.  And once I have surgery on June 11th it'll be more of the same shakes. Even after pureed stage, soft food stage, and finally regular food stage, it's going to be a drastic change for the rest of my life. I'm giving up the one thing that really brings me joy. Eating. How do you cope with that? What do you do to fill that void? Wow. Now I'm sad.
      · 1 reply
      1. summerseeker

        Life as a big person had limited my life to what I knew I could manage to do each day. That was eat. I hadn't anything else to look forward to. So my eating choices were the best I could dream up. I planned the cooking in managable lots in my head and filled my day with and around it.

        Now I have a whole new big, bigger, biggest, best days ever. I am out there with those skinny people doing stuff i could never have dreamt of. Food is now an after thought. It doesn't consume my day. I still enjoy the good home cooked food but I eat smaller portions. I leave food on my plate when I am full. I can no longer hear my mother's voice saying eat it all up, ther are starving children in Africa who would want that!

        I still cook for family feasts, I love cooking. I still do holidays but I have changed from the All inclusive drinking and eating everything everyday kind to Self catering accommodation. This gives me the choice of cooking or eating out as I choose. I rarely drink anymore as I usually travel alone now and I feel I need to keep aware of my surroundings.

        I don't know at what point my life expanded, was it when I lost 100 pounds? Was it when I left my walking stick at home ? Was it when I said yes to an outing instead of finding an excuse to stay home ? i look back at my last five years and wonder how loosing weight has made such a difference. Be ready to amaze yourself.

        BTW, the liquid diet sucks, one more day and you are over the worst. You can do it.

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    • KimBaxleyWilson

      Three months and four days ago... I was in Costa Rica having a life changing surgery! Yesterday we had a followup visit with Dr. Esmeral via video chat and this morning my middle number changed.  I'm down 47lbs and two pants sizes. I can wear a Large tshirt for the first time in like... 14 years! Woot!! Everything is going great. I have zero regrets. I went down to the riverwalk with a friend and walked 2 miles on Monday without even getting fatigued. And no more snoring or chugging pickle juice for crazy leg cramps! I need to go to the gym more... I'm making new shirts next week so that will motivate me. LOL But I'm also just not as TIRED all the time! I have a LONG way to go...but seeing the progress on the scales and in the mirror is a huge motivator!! Thank you all for cheering me on and supporting me!!
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