Merry Meet,

My name is Tracy nickname Gretchen Noel and I am a very spritual pagan. I am 37 years old and the daughter of a Southern Baptist Minister. I live in a different state and my parents, though they know I'm different, do not know of my spiritual beliefs. I have been kitchen/nature witch since I was 25 and do not follow any certain path in particular, but gather differnt things from all faiths and make them my own. I and my husband, for the most part, are solitary (he follows the budda yogi path) but we do have a small 'family' that gathers 8 times a year for holidays.

I think all of our prayers,energies and spells all go to the same place and that no one religion or denomination is the 'correct' one, just that it takes different things for different people and situations.

I am being banded on Tuesday Feb 27th and I am both excited and anxious. I was a size 12 in jr. high and a size 14-18 through high school. I went through a date rape situation when I was 19 and ballooned up to 240. I have been over 200 since I was 19, over 250 for about 12 yrs and over 300 for about 6 years.

I 1st attempted to have this very procedure four years ago but I had health spring and was denied without any hope of an appeal. Last year my company started offering BCBS along with health spring. I didn't change anything, then I found out last fall that there were 6 other people in the company that had switched to BCBS and sucessfully had the procedure SO, I switched this year and as you will see in my signature.. was approved!:clap2:

I am so excited about what lays ahead for myself and my husband. I LOVE to be outdoors and being my size is REALLY a hinderance.

I look forward to hearing from others of alternative faiths or, No faith in particular.

I have created a poll, thought it would be fun. I know there is NO WAY I have remembered all of the different paths so if yours isn't listed..VERY SORRY. Example.. right after I created the poll, I realised I left of NORSE. ANYwho, I'll add it if you ask me to assuming I can figure out how to make changes to the poll. I'm kind of technically challenged.

Blessed Be,

Tracy/Gretchen Noel

:biggrin1: Wheetsin, I think both our husbands would frown upon it. How about "just good friends"?

Day four post op. Allive and kicking... and ITCHING.

Drank my watery oatmeal with protein powder mixed in. Was quite delicious actually.

Hubby will make me a soft scrambled egg for lunch and a 1/4 cup of 'wet' lean ground beef for supper to be chased with a v-8 juice.

Did I mention I was ITCHING?

I don't know what to believe and feel guilty because I know what people think I should believe, but I just am not sure. Does that make any sense? My family all believe strongly in God. I think I used to until my senior year in high school. I had a bad car accident.

Never feel bad or guilty because things - on either side of the spectrum - aren't clear to you. And never feel bad because just maybe, your ultiamte direction is not in line with the direction your family would prefer to see you follow.

My family is very religious. Particularly devout Catholics, with the exception of my parents. Mother is a "relaxed catholic" (by choice and by force) and father is a methodist, technically, but really one who prefers to manage his beliefs and relationships on his own, not with a church.

This is not going to come out sounding the right way, but I don't know many other ways to say it. So you'll just have to trust me when I say "I don't mean it exactly like it will sound." I think very often christianity is trained. I know it is. An awful lot of people are told, from birth, that this is how it is. Now from that training you can, when you're old enough and mature enough, apply your own critical thinking and either accept it or not accept it, or kind of accept it. Some people (I do truly believe this) will never look it at critically, but will blindly follow it because it's what they're taught. Think of all the things people absorb from their family, friends, society, etc. and it never even dawns on them that there's maybe a different way of being, because - they're never around anything different, they never experiecne something that makes them ask questions, etc. It's not a bad thing, because obviously it gives them something in their life that they need, and there are worse things (esp. physically) that someone could turn to.

A lot of my family knows nothing about my atheism. I think. To be honest, I don't really know - maybe they do, it just never comes up. They know I don't go to church, and they know that when I've attended the (Catholic) funerals of family that has died, I remain seated while everyone else stands, I don't sing when everyone else sings, etc. I know people noticed that when my grandfather received his last rights, my head remained up, my mouth didn't move, and my eyes remained open while everyone else was bowed in prayer. They don't ask, and I've been asked not to bring it up. (By my parents, and I can understand why they ask me that. I live away from my family, the rest of them all live in the same city. I'm not the one that would have to sufffer the "consequences", my parents are).

If you feel a spiritual connection and feel that christianity is the answer for you, don't let people's or a church's greed get the better of you. There is a church by me (one of those mega warehouse churches) that gives you a payment book when you join. Seriously - like the payment books you get for a mortgage or car loan, only for tithing. Our neighbors belong to this church, or did anyway, and told us that while she was in the hospital (cancer), they were left messages from one of the church coordinators wondering if they'd "forgotten" to submit their tithing coupons, because they "just happened to notice" that their payment stub hadn't been sent in. But the point to realize is -- I would doubt most churches operate this way (really can't say for sure, obviously :myscared: ). As a previous poster said - don't let a few apples turn you off to fruit, if fruit is what you're craving.

I think sometimes the best you can do is a lot of introspection, and a lot of asking yourself why. Why does something make sense, why does something jive or not jive with you. What is your life like with or without something in it, etc. Whatever the right path is for you, you'll know it when you find it.

I go to a great church. It is called the Liberal Universalist Fellowship of Port Saint Lucie.

We discuss Buddhism, Hinduism, Toaism and Humanistic teachings as often as we discuss Jesus, and no one is coerced to feel he must think of Jesus as a deity, son of a deity or part (1/3) of a deity. No one is ever made to feel guilty for whatever they believe. We cherish the right to think freely that life is for the benefit of both mankind and for nature.

An atheist, Wiccan, Pagan or anyone else is welcome to join our fellowship. The only rule is to follow the decorum of our services and allow others equal freedom as one would want for himself and respect the house as a safe house from ill feelings.

I as a Christian have found a place I feel safe in. Safe to tell people how I feel and what threatens me. We live in a world of abuse, both by our families and our institutions, so finding some place to feel safe is a blessing.

I said a few pages back that I would read and would not say much, but this thread gives me the same feeling as my fellowship services give me. A feeling of peace and safety.

Thank you for the thread and thank you for listening.

Every day seems that I turn another corner for the best. I'm still itching like crazy, however, this a.m. I was able to, with the aid of several pillows.. lay on my side! HOORAH! it still slighly pulls on my port site which isn't v. comfy but it's a nice few minute change from laying on my back.

It doesn't take much to wear me out. I go back to work tomorrow and kind of dread it, I have a desk job though so the worst part will be going from truck to desk. after that I should be fine. I'm eating a soft scrambled egg right now that DH made for me.

I am very please with how this thread is turning out. I want everyone to feel welcome here no matter what their beliefs. Nice, mellow and respectful of others. You guys are great.

Tracy

Thank you for the very kind and understanding responses to my posts about my confusion. The tithe thing was what originally turned me off. However, I question so many other things as well that just don't make sense to me. And as mentioned before, because of my family, and my husband's family, I do feel guilty for questioning them. It just doesn't make sense to me that someone would supposedly create us in his likeness, claim we are his children, have all this power, and yet create us to quote "sin" and allow those he supposedly loves so much to suffer with disease, poverty, etc. Then I hear how it is all for his glory, etc., and it just doesn't make any sense to me. It doesn't make sense to me that someone would say he is the almighty perfect one and we shall worship him and no other, actually, it seems arrogant to me. I don't know, I can't even really put into words all the things I feel and question as it just doesn't quite come out sounding right. I know I haven't been to church in probably 13 years. I just live my life, try to be a good person and respect and help others when I can.

yesterday i was driving to petsmart and i got cut off by about an inch by some blind bimbo driving a gold lexus suv... the back of her suv was covered in god stickers - the fish, the kneeling calvin, etc. when i honked, she flipped me off.

no point to the story, i just thought that was hilarious.

i've been keeping track of all my food (err, liquids) intake and cannot believe how difficult it is for me to hit 800 calories. i have failed every single day since i started! i even added a meal yesterday. it's just... my hunger is gone now that i can have soup. a 1/2 cup and i am good to go for a few hours. if i could stay like this forever, i would be thrilled but i know it won't last much longer. i'm 11 days post op (i believe) and aside from port pain, i feel 100% back to normal. :myscared:

no point for this either. LOL.

i've been keeping track of all my food (err, liquids) intake and cannot believe how difficult it is for me to hit 800 calories. i have failed every single day since i started! i even added a meal yesterday. it's just... my hunger is gone now that i can have soup. a 1/2 cup and i am good to go for a few hours. if i could stay like this forever, i would be thrilled but i know it won't last much longer. i'm 11 days post op (i believe) and aside from port pain, i feel 100% back to normal.

no point for this either. LOL.

I am 5 days post op.. was going back to work tomorrow and now i'm like.. hmmm maybe i'll wait until tuesday. I drive a stick shift truck and don't look forward to having to shift and stuff.

I worry about my incisions. one small one to the far left at the bottom isn't 'closed' anymore. I can't see the rest of them because my heart gauze bandages are still covering them. my tummy skin is tight, dry, itching and I'm worried that everytime I bend over I'm going to split them open or something. any suggestions? how are yours doing? I see you are 11 days post op and feeling normal for the most part.. what day post op did that start??

Tracy

hi tracy,

they used that medical superglue stuff for my incisions. my big bubba incision is the only one that even remotely hurts. one of the little ones is completely healed and the other little ones are well on their way.

monday was really hard for me, (because i wasn't sleeping), tuesday i discovered driving hurt so i overdid it when i ran errands and thus pushed myself back a bit. wedneday i took it real easy and was starting to feel normal again, and by thursday, i felt almost 100%. today i noticed i am popping up and down off the couch like i used to and i don't brace myself to get off the potty any more. really the only time i hurt anymore is towards the evening and that's when big bubba starts hollering a bit. i feel like my old self again!!! except there is no ravenous hunger! :clap2: so, for me to feel back to normal, i'd say i was 9 days postop.

hang in there, woman! it gets better soon!!!

~mana

I'm at work.. it didn't kill me to drive myself like I thought it would driving a stick shift.. however,,, I have a bone to pick with the seat belt and steering wheel. ANYwho... I'm here, it's nice to be back, but I'm really tired. Will probably only stay half a day. Jack, I'm happy you have stumbled across our post.. you are one of my favorite posters.

I bent over a LITTLE to far this a.m. in the bathroom at work and nearly shreaked. OH MY GOSH.. The pain in my port.... I guess it pulled on my stitches holding the port in place. That was like an hour ago and I'm still feeling it a little.

My tongue is all messed up, gross and sore too. I"m going to call my dr. about it. I think I noticed it yesterday being sore and today when I got up and looked at it, it's all blotchy. white in spots and ANGRY red in others. Maybe it's the antibiotics or it could be the liquid ibuprophen I'm using. I sure hope it's not the ibuprophen. It's what keeps me going during the day.

:update:

I have never before had this in my life and I'm still not sure how it happened, but it would appear after speaking with my dr, that I have Thrush. Isn't that what babies get? ANYwho, he is calling in a prescription that I will pick up on the way home.

T

oh tracy! thrush? weird!!! i was going to say maybe an allergy.

seat belts don't (or didn't) irritate me, but turning my body to check my blind spot made my side ache something fierce.

last night i was only at 400 calories and i knew i needed to get up to at least 800... so i had my hubby get me a small milkshake. i wasn't proud, but it was too late in the evening to get the rest of the calories in using my soups/yogurts... i drank about 1/3 of it over a 1/2hour period and whereas i succeeded in getting the calories in, it was hard to drink. i mean, it went down fine, but it was just too sweet and too... something. i found that i just had no desire for it! me?! turning away a shake?! holyhell! today though i have a schedule written out that should get to me the calories i need. LOL. i shake my head at how funny my days have turned.

i heart this thread. :hug:

Yah.. I KNOW.. weird huh? ANYwho. I saw your incision pics on the scar stages thread. I posted mine but I can't figure out how to post it in the actual email and not just a word document you have to click on. YOu must go see it so you can see the cute heart shaped gauze some mysterious sweetie pie cut out for me after surgery. I woke up and hade seven hearts of various sizes all over my tummy!

oh tracy! thrush? weird!!! i was going to say maybe an allergy.

seat belts don't (or didn't) irritate me, but turning my body to check my blind spot made my side ache something fierce.

last night i was only at 400 calories and i knew i needed to get up to at least 800... so i had my hubby get me a small milkshake. i wasn't proud, but it was too late in the evening to get the rest of the calories in using my soups/yogurts... i drank about 1/3 of it over a 1/2hour period and whereas i succeeded in getting the calories in, it was hard to drink. i mean, it went down fine, but it was just too sweet and too... something. i found that i just had no desire for it! me?! turning away a shake?! holyhell! today though i have a schedule written out that should get to me the calories i need. LOL. i shake my head at how funny my days have turned.

i heart this thread. :hug:

Yah.. I KNOW.. weird huh? ANYwho. I saw your incision pics on the scar stages thread. I posted mine but I can't figure out how to post it in the actual email and not just a word document you have to click on. YOu must go see it so you can see the cute heart shaped gauze some mysterious sweetie pie cut out for me after surgery. I woke up and hade seven hearts of various sizes all over my tummy!

i love the little hearts! too cute!!!

i am going to take another pic at one month post op. hopefully by then some of the glue will be gone... i think my black skirt stained it so i have little black rings around all my incisions. it looks dirty. LOL. i am afraid to scrub them, so i just deal with the rings. that superglue stuff is amazing!