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I am in therapy' date=' I haven't been in a few weeks and I haven't talked about this yet, this is all new problems cropping up. I know I shouldn't make myself sick but it gives me control and I don't feel so bad if I ate something I shouldn't. I'm just so scared that iced coffee or the occasional treat is going to ruin my pouch and I can't seem to get a straight answer from the surgeon. I meet with the nutritionist on Wednesday so we will see what she says. I know what I need to do, doing it is the problem.

goal weight 150, pre sx weight 298, current weight 192[/quote']

I am so sorry you are struggling with this. It seems that you should make an appointment with your therapist ASAP as it sounds like you are developing an eating disorder, which can happen after surgery.

In regards to hurting your pouch with iced coffee or an occasional treat, why and/or how do you think that could happen, physiologically speaking?

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Because I asked my surgeon if an occasional iced coffee was good and she said NO. Not good. But then she said I've been eating the same way for 29 years and they couldn't expect me to change overnight. However I didn't cheat on my diet prior too..and I try not to vomit everyday. I'm just so lost :(

goal weight 150, pre sx weight 298, current weight 192

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If you have a local supporr group go!!!!! It helps me be accountable and we get to share others successes and struggles. If you ate like I did you might also try looking into overeaters anonymous! There are many online meetings. I am 18 months ouy and have stalled again! Fortunately my surgeon has been supportive because I have become so much more active...biking...canoeing...roller skating. I also have become more open about my surgery...as a result I have found even more people who are also on this journey. Be kind to you.

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If I am reading your posts correct the reason you vomit is so that you have control.

If that is the case there are other ways to take control. The one I use and it is working is to log my food. I know what I am putting in my body everyday. Before I started logging I had no idea, and a quick snack of sweets was common. Now that I log I challenge myself to reach a goal everyday. Sometimes I focus on Protein and sometimes I focus on calories, but I make sure to stay focused and thus gain control

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I am in therapy' date=' I haven't been in a few weeks and I haven't talked about this yet, this is all new problems cropping up. I know I shouldn't make myself sick but it gives me control and I don't feel so bad if I ate something I shouldn't. I'm just so scared that iced coffee or the occasional treat is going to ruin my pouch and I can't seem to get a straight answer from the surgeon. I meet with the nutritionist on Wednesday so we will see what she says. I know what I need to do, doing it is the problem.

goal weight 150, pre sx weight 298, current weight 192[/quote']

Please talk about this with your therapist....purging for a sense of control is not normal....I'm worried for you. Message me if you want. I struggled with bulimia in my early twenties and it took a lot of therapy to help. I also went to OA for a long time...it really helped.

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The tenets of OA are very similar to our "rules".... No sugar, no white flour, eat three meals a day, no snacking, but the support makes all the difference.

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The sugar of the flavoring I like

goal weight 150' date=' pre sx weight 298, current weight 192[/quote']

Can you get the same flavor in a sugar-free variety? I still don't understand how drinking it occasionally would "hurt" your pouch. You're obviously not dumping on them seeing as you have been drinking them. Sugar does not physically hurt your pouch. Think about this from a logical way, even IF drinking a coffee with sugar COULD damage your pouch, your pouch no longer has a pyloric valve, therefore, liquids and slider foods pass through pretty quickly because our pouch now acts as a funnel (another reason why we can't drink when we eat, it pushes the food through too quickly). You do have to think about the sugar content from a calorie perspective, though. Still, extra calories are not going to hurt your pouch, unless you constantly and consistently eat too much volume-wise.

It sounds like you are really struggling with the control aspect, hence the purging. I agree with what others have told you: go to your therapist, OA, a support group AND find another way to get back control (like tracking your food intake and exercise).

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I do track my food. And yeah she's concerned About it from a caloric standpoint but I use Splenda, the only sugar is from the caramel turtle flavoring. I'm just concerned with stretching the pouch out but I don't eat that much at all.

goal weight 150, pre sx weight 298, current weight 192

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I love the Dukin blueberries extra cream two Splenda taste like a blue berry muffin and almost guilt free just the cream that is slightly bad but you could get skim milk or something else also they have Decaf.

I know there is more to what you are going threw but I also enjoy my coffees and every little bit helps.

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See, my surgeon almost slaughtered me when I said I get extra milk with my iced coffee, let alone cream. Ughhhh.

goal weight 150, pre sx weight 298, current weight 192

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Sounds like you have a hard ass lol you have to be able to have little treats .

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That's what I thought and now I feel so guilty when I do..

goal weight 150' date=' pre sx weight 298, current weight 192[/quote']

Somewhere there's a happy medium. Where you can lose weight and be healthy AND enjoy life....I understand a doc wanting you to do your best with this surgery, I truly do...however, if you do nothing but obsess about what you're eating and failing at your lifestyle change....well, that's not the life I want to live. I wish you the best my friend, I hate that you are struggling at this. Your running circles around me in the weight loss department though!!! I would definitely keep up with the therapist and try to figure out why you are self sabotaging.

HW 312, pre-op (RNY) 255, current weight 199

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