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Free Lap-band Update Very Disappointed.

:angry:angry:angry:angry:angry

This is very disheartening to have to write. But I've been reading several past post over the last few days and find that many of you are mad because we my husband and I did not name the person whom was picked to recieve the free lapband. I did post to let everyone know that due to LEGAL privacy issues we could not post the name. It was up to the choosen person. I don't blame her for not telling, due to the crap that we got and have been posted from some of you. We had decided that maybe we would be able to do this again later next year but due to the negative comments that have been said about us and pm'd to us we have decided to go elsewhere to look for some deserving person to use our money. What is wrong with you people? We /Someone trys to do some good for someone and we get crap for it, is it because you are jealous or what. We have had it up to our ears for all the crap people have given us . We are done with this forum. Find help somewhere else because it will never come from us again. Just to let you know She was banded and is doing VERY WELL. AMOM & ADAD

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This is the last post I will submit so please QUIT emailing me BEGGING me to come back. The damage has already been done. This whole issue has had me crying more than anyone knows. I can't believe the two faced people who post here. First you email negative comments to me then you post publicly and act as if your not one of them. YOU KNOW WHO YOU ARE. GOODBYE

Seems to me the same attitude you are condemning in others is the one you have adopted. The vast majority of us on LBT have already had our surgery--and are not in need of having another. I read the post about your donating a lapband, I thought then, and still do that it was a very nice thing for you to do.

You are 100% right that the only person you have to answer to is God himself.

It just struck me that you do not want to divulge names, which I am sure is SOP for the type of donation you made, but are angry at others for not divulging their names either.

I find it very sad, that such a positive gesture, has ended in in a very hateful manner. It's too bad you feel you must leave...but if you feel so strongly about it, I have to wonder if you would ever get beyond that feeling. Surely this new thread, and all the new griping and begging are just causing more bad feelings. The old saying "fish or cut bait" comes to mind.

Just for the record---I did not "apply" for your band give away, I did not recommend anyone else to "apply", I have never emailed or PM'd you in either a negative, nor positive manner-ever. I imagine the ones PM'ing you with all the accusations, and complaints are the same ones who occasionally send other members off to other boards. But for most of us, this is a positive place to be, full of support, and friendly people. I hate to see this stir up controversy--if it is done, it is done. If you choose not to do it again, or to do it elsewhere that is fine, it is your money, and your option. It is an understandable move. I do have to say, I am also of the opinion, I would not let a few angry people run me off, especially if I knew I had done nothing to deserve it.

Kat

Unfortunately for those of us who have gotten them PMs and nastiness here, it's not just letting people run us off when we have done nothing wrong. Let's face it, most of us have self esteem issues to begin with and when coming to a place that is supposed to be for love and support you are met with suspicious attitudes and nasty comments....it just makes sense to leave because obviously you are not wanted there.

Dahlia

Unfortunately for those of us who have gotten them PMs and nastiness here, it's not just letting people run us off when we have done nothing wrong. Let's face it, most of us have self esteem issues to begin with and when coming to a place that is supposed to be for love and support you are met with suspicious attitudes and nasty comments....it just makes sense to leave because obviously you are not wanted there.

Dahlia

I am sorry Dahlia I strongly DISAREE with you on this point, a few people being jerks is not the entire board. I am again sorry that both of you have to put up with this, but if you leave you let them win. And I am sorry sweetie but that will do nothing for your self esteem. Find those who are here to support you and ignore the rest. Sometimes I feel like I am on a playground again here but I take it with a grain of salt. I FEEL SORRY FOR THE JERKS that they have nothing more important in life to do than to pick on others...

Brandy,

Thanks =) yeah the playground comment is true. I don't want to have to leave over this junk...because counting you there have been 4 really, really nice people who have offered suportive and nice comments. I guess I will try and stay, maybe just not post for a while and see what happens.

Thanks

*hug*

Brandy,

Thanks =) yeah the playground comment is true. I don't want to have to leave over this junk...because counting you there have been 4 really, really nice people who have offered suportive and nice comments. I guess I will try and stay, maybe just not post for a while and see what happens.

Thanks

*hug*

:) I am glad you see the truth! Feel free to PM me, I want to talk! We don't have to share our ball with the bullies if we don't want to! :)

MY BALL, MY BALL! lol... :)

I totally agree with Boo--and also see where this could be a way of increasing self esteem. It is not face to face conflict. I was involved in a VERY abusive marriage, and was constantly faced with "triggers", so I avoided dating completely. It was embarassing to be reduced to tears just because someone moved to suddenly. Then I reconnected with an old love, and we lived 400 miles apart, we did the long distance thing for 2 years. We wrote letters, and talked on the phone EVERY day (was before computers were in daily life). Eventually I would bring up what I considered touchy subjects to get his reaction. A few times I even tried making him mad. I had a safety zone. If he got mad or something I could hang up (in this case log off)--he ended up being the best thing that happened to me ever. But if he had lived next door, it would have never worked, I needed, my self esteem needed, the distance while I developed into the person who could have a relationship with him.

I see this could work for you in the same way. There are bullies everywhere in life---even on LBT---but I feel very confident that the good hearted and willing to help outnumber them by HUGE amounts.

Look around, and find a group of people you can relate to---or already have something in common with ( banding dates for instance)...and settle in. I comment all over the board, but I have 2 groups of people I don't know what I would do without! One is as said above related to when we were banded, we do an exercise challenge each month--but it has gone so far beyond that, we support one another in daily life issues as well. The other group is originated in another state---a state that only a couple of the 10 or so of who chat daily live in!!! I consider the friendships I have made here at LBT to be one of the very best aspects of my lap band.

I would hope you would stay, I truly do hate to see you run off by a few people who are not being supportive.

Kat

I'm sorry you feel you need to leave the forum but you know what's best for you. It's sad that you feel the need to condemn the entire forum based on the negativity of a few people. I'm sure the person you helped is thankful for your kind and generous gift to them. Good luck to you.

That is absolutely horrible, I just joined this LBT and think for the most part this is a great support system and from seeing the responses to your thread, there are many people who are just as upset.

You are a saint for being able and wanting to help change someone's life and I hope you don't give up on the people here who are strong. You should be blessed!

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