Jump to content
×
Are you looking for the BariatricPal Store? Go now!
$99 Yearly Supply Alert! 🌈 "1 per Day!" Bariatric Multivitamins

Backed out of surgery... twice :(

indianarny765

Recommended Posts

indianarny765    1

indianarny765
Posted

Okay so heres my story... Ive backed out of surgery twice now. The first time I was scheduled for March 18th, the second time was May the 20th. I have no support really other then my boyfriend. My sister told me I was just lazy. My mom and brother told me I was going to die. Ive had problems with my stomach before and thats the only thing that I was worried about. My coworkers are also very negative about it. Its hard to have it done without telling my coworkers because of the time that I have to take off of work. So heres my question.... Has anyone else backed out or am I the only one? I will get it done some day and I hope its soon. I think that my surgeon is going to give up on me for doing this. I feel like a failure. Just really need some advice and support. thanks everyone :)

aprildiva22 reacted to this

Share this post

Link to post
Share on other sites

TinyMamiOf3kids    1,280

TinyMamiOf3kids
Posted

When you are ready you will do it. There are options. It takes longer but go to a dietician to show you how to portion food size. Jenny Craig weight watchers. Surgery isn't the only way people lose weight. When you are ready you will lose weight. No judgment here. We area support group not enemies

indianarny765 reacted to this

Share this post

Link to post
Share on other sites

MissNikki27    54

MissNikki27
Posted

When you are ready you will do it. There are options. It takes longer but go to a dietician to show you how to portion food size. Jenny Craig weight watchers. Surgery isn't the only way people lose weight. When you are ready you will lose weight. No judgment here. We area support group not enemies

mami is absolutely right. WLS isn't for everyone and there many other ways to lose weight. Surgery is serious and you have to be all in or not at all. Your lifestyle has to change completely and you may not be ready yet or you may be willing to lose weight another way. No matter what you decide don't give up. You know that you started this journey for a reason and you don't want to put that on the back burner.

Share this post

Link to post
Share on other sites

ajustice    484

ajustice
Posted

Okay so heres my story... Ive backed out of surgery twice now. The first time I was scheduled for March 18th' date=' the second time was May the 20th. I have no support really other then my boyfriend. My sister told me I was just lazy. My mom and brother told me I was going to die. Ive had problems with my stomach before and thats the only thing that I was worried about. My coworkers are also very negative about it. Its hard to have it done without telling my coworkers because of the time that I have to take off of work. So heres my question.... Has anyone else backed out or am I the only one? I will get it done some day and I hope its soon. I think that my surgeon is going to give up on me for doing this. I feel like a failure. Just really need some advice and support. thanks everyone :)[/quote']

Fear of the unknown is crippling. I was terrified and worried I would die...my mother disapproved and had me in tears on the way to the hospital to have mine done. Ultimately it's your decision and journey and only u can decide. Weigh the options and just think what u truly think is best cause only u can live the best and right life for u! It's not easy either way u go..to have surgery doesn't totally "cure" things..and it's not easy. I think I made the best decision for me and I hope u truly find out yours. As for coworkers..people always have opinions even when they should just keep their mouth closed. If u have surgery hold your head high cause u are going to be bringing out the healthy and best of u for an example for others. If its fear try to talk with someone..or any of us here. Email me if u would like. Hope you find peace either way u go..good luck and god bless.

BBdoodle reacted to this

Share this post

Link to post
Share on other sites

BBdoodle    483

BBdoodle
Posted

Please do not let outside people influence you... ITS YOUR DECISION and no one else !!! You owe your co-workers no explanation what so ever, ever hear of HIPA ? All you have to do is say your are out on medical leave if they ask for what or why I would say "why do you ask"?? or just change the subject. Your medical decisions are YOUR decisions, if YOU want surgery then go for it and please do not let other influence you. Surgery is NOT the easy way out, its a tool just like Jenny Craig, Weight Watchers, a exercise bike etc. etc. and having MAJOR surgery is NOT the easy way out it is the most difficult !!! Its nice to have support and I was lucky that I only told a few people (family & close freinds) and I had 110% support from everyone. My co-workers that I told (3) are very good friends. Please listen to your own feelings and go with your gut decision.

Share this post

Link to post
Share on other sites

YoColeFleet    246

YoColeFleet
Posted

Yeah, I agree with everyone, a friend of mine who had the surgery told me something that stuck to me, she said "don't explain your reasoning to having weight loss surgery", she told me that it was my decision regardless of what anyone else thought. When I told my husband, daughter, and mom, they all were totally against it, they were concerned, but after I kept educating them, they are on board; they would rather see me healthy than sick all the time, taking different medications; sure they are still conerned but hey, it's what I want to do, I can't tell you that I'm 100% ready, I just know I got to do this to be healthy, I will be 43, I want to feel and look the part.

indianarny765 reacted to this

Share this post

Link to post
Share on other sites

CS7TS    16

CS7TS
Posted

Okay so heres my story... Ive backed out of surgery twice now. The first time I was scheduled for March 18th' date=' the second time was May the 20th. I have no support really other then my boyfriend. My sister told me I was just lazy. My mom and brother told me I was going to die. Ive had problems with my stomach before and thats the only thing that I was worried about. My coworkers are also very negative about it. Its hard to have it done without telling my coworkers because of the time that I have to take off of work. So heres my question.... Has anyone else backed out or am I the only one? I will get it done some day and I hope its soon. I think that my surgeon is going to give up on me for doing this. I feel like a failure. Just really need some advice and support. thanks everyone <img src='http://www.bariatricpal.com/public/style_emoticons/<#EMO_DIR#>/smile.png' class='bbc_emoticon' alt=':)' />[/quote']

You have to decide what is best for you! Disregard what others may say. You have to be able to live with your decision.

indianarny765 reacted to this

Share this post

Link to post
Share on other sites

deaddemmama    474

deaddemmama
Posted

It's a huge decision...take your time.

indianarny765 reacted to this

Share this post

Link to post
Share on other sites

Create an account or sign in to comment

You need to be a member in order to leave a comment

Create an account

Sign up for a new account in our community. It's easy!

Register a new account

Sign in

Already have an account? Sign in here.

Sign In Now
Go To Topic Listing PRE-Operation Weight Loss Surgery Q&A

  • Trending Products

  • Trending Topics

  • Recent Status Updates

    • LeighaTR

      LeighaTR

      I am new here today... and only two weeks out from my sleeve surgery on the 23rd. I am amazed I have kept my calories down to 467 today so far... that leaves me almost 750 left for dinner and maybe a snack. This is going to be tough for two weeks... but I have to believe I can do it!
      · 0 replies
      1. This update has no replies.
    • Doughgurl

      Doughgurl

      Hey everyone. I'm new here so I thought I should introduce myself. I am 53y/o and am scheduled for Gastric Bypass on June 25th, 2025. I'm located in San Antonio, Texas. I will be having my surgery in Tiajuana Mexico. I've wanted this for years, but I always had insurance where bariatric procedures were excluded. Finally I am able to afford to pay out of pocket.  I can't wait to get started, and I hope I'm prepared for the initial period of "hell". I know what I have signed up for, but I'm sure the good to come will out way the temporary period of discomfort and feelings of regret. I'd love to find people to talk to who have been through the same procedure or experience before. So I look forward to meeting you all. Hope you have a great week!
      · 0 replies
      1. This update has no replies.
    • Alisa_S

      Alisa_S

      On day 4 of the 2 week liquid pre-op diet. Surgery scheduled for June 11th.
      Soooo I am coming to a realization
      of something and I'm not sure what to do about it. For years the only thing I've enjoyed is eating. We rarely do anything or go anywhere and if we do it always includes food. Family comes over? Big family dinner! Go camping? Food! Take a short ride or trip? Food! Holiday? Food! Go out of town for a Dr appointment? Food! When we go to a new town we don't look for any attractions, we look for restaurants we haven't been to. Heck, I look forward to getting off work because that means it's almost supper time. Now that I'm drinking these pre-op shakes for breakfast, lunch, and supper I have nothing to look forward to.  And once I have surgery on June 11th it'll be more of the same shakes. Even after pureed stage, soft food stage, and finally regular food stage, it's going to be a drastic change for the rest of my life. I'm giving up the one thing that really brings me joy. Eating. How do you cope with that? What do you do to fill that void? Wow. Now I'm sad.
      · 1 reply
      1. LeighaTR

        LeighaTR

        I hope your surgery on Wednesday goes well. You will be able to do all sorts of new things as you find your new normal after surgery. I don't know this from experience yet, but I am seeing a lot of positive things from people who have had it done. Best of luck!

    • Alisa_S

      Alisa_S

      On day 4 of the 2 week liquid pre-op diet. Surgery scheduled for June 11th.
      Soooo I am coming to a realization
      of something and I'm not sure what to do about it. For years the only thing I've enjoyed is eating. We rarely do anything or go anywhere and if we do it always includes food. Family comes over? Big family dinner! Go camping? Food! Take a short ride or trip? Food! Holiday? Food! Go out of town for a Dr appointment? Food! When we go to a new town we don't look for any attractions, we look for restaurants we haven't been to. Heck, I look forward to getting off work because that means it's almost supper time. Now that I'm drinking these pre-op shakes for breakfast, lunch, and supper I have nothing to look forward to.  And once I have surgery on June 11th it'll be more of the same shakes. Even after pureed stage, soft food stage, and finally regular food stage, it's going to be a drastic change for the rest of my life. I'm giving up the one thing that really brings me joy. Eating. How do you cope with that? What do you do to fill that void? Wow. Now I'm sad.
      · 1 reply
      1. summerseeker

        summerseeker

        Life as a big person had limited my life to what I knew I could manage to do each day. That was eat. I hadn't anything else to look forward to. So my eating choices were the best I could dream up. I planned the cooking in managable lots in my head and filled my day with and around it.

        Now I have a whole new big, bigger, biggest, best days ever. I am out there with those skinny people doing stuff i could never have dreamt of. Food is now an after thought. It doesn't consume my day. I still enjoy the good home cooked food but I eat smaller portions. I leave food on my plate when I am full. I can no longer hear my mother's voice saying eat it all up, ther are starving children in Africa who would want that!

        I still cook for family feasts, I love cooking. I still do holidays but I have changed from the All inclusive drinking and eating everything everyday kind to Self catering accommodation. This gives me the choice of cooking or eating out as I choose. I rarely drink anymore as I usually travel alone now and I feel I need to keep aware of my surroundings.

        I don't know at what point my life expanded, was it when I lost 100 pounds? Was it when I left my walking stick at home ? Was it when I said yes to an outing instead of finding an excuse to stay home ? i look back at my last five years and wonder how loosing weight has made such a difference. Be ready to amaze yourself.

        BTW, the liquid diet sucks, one more day and you are over the worst. You can do it.

    • CaseyP1011

      CaseyP1011

      Officially here for a long time, not just a good time💪
      · 0 replies
      1. This update has no replies.

  • Recent Topics

  • Hot Products

  • Sign Up For
    Our Newsletter

    Follow us for the latest news
    and special product offers!
  • Together, we have lost...
      lbs

    PatchAid Vitamin Patches

    Bariatric Forums

    For Patients

    Health Professionals

    Search Surgeons

    Bariatric Surgeons: Want to research a weight loss surgery surgeon? Enter their last name below to start!

    ×