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Shrinking Violets -- April 07 Bandsters



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TracyK~ OOOOO the show was so good tonight. I know who the next hoh is?.?.?. Let me know if you wanna know. Final four...wow...almost over:think

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I dont get to watch too much tv... I am going to save the Biggest Looser that starts on Tuesday. Maybe to motivate the hell out of me, or give me some new ideas. Plus if those people can do it without surgery and without tucks... so can I.

Morning Violets.

well another horrible night of sleep. Went to bed at 12:30 and was up by 1. for some reason my legs ache. Maybe from Water aerobics on Wed and then taking a day off. I don't know but I do know I didn't want to get up this morning.

So I am off to another aerobics class this morning - then running to pay a couple of bills and going to get my camera from my friend. and to work at 2... YIKES

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Pamela-I loved the double elimination!! It was good! I was very pleased with the way it turned out. I am so sad to see it coming to an end ;)

TGIF!!! Everyone have a good day and I will check in later....(((((hugs))))

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Morning Violets~

MY MOM DIED 3 YEARS AGO TODAY:think. She was diagnosed w/ cancer, multiple myeloma (bone marrow), at the age of 50. They gave her 3-5 years, but she had been misdiagnosed for 4 months, so she was in REALLY bad shape when the finally got it right. She exceeded their expectations, and lived for 8 years. I took care of her, and her 80 year old father (the best grandpa in the world) for 7 of the 8 years. It was the hardest time in my life. I've never been to darker places in my mind. I became numb w/ chemo (mom) and morphine (gpa) appointments, and the like. I know that sounds bad...how hard it was for me, when they were suffering w/ cancer and age...but it is hard for the caregivers, really hard. I love my mom, and was very close to her before she was diagnosed, but it was very different w/ me being 29 with the weight of the responsibility that I had. It was a very bad relationship the last 8 years...that is all I can say.

I miss her and would do it over again. I think that is what we need to do...take care of our parents. Still, so much to say...still, so much to confess. Secrets I haven't even told myself yet.

xoxo

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I am going to have a moo-cow bona fide screaming hissy fit right here and now!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I am so freakin' tired of losing my posts I could just throw this laptop across the room!!!!!!!!!!!

I had quotes and responses for about 6 of you and was on the last one when I hit the freakin' backspace key to correct a typo and the whole page went away. This is just the icing on the cake....I had dreams like this all night last night. Frustration and anger...all night!!! I am sorry, girls....but this week has just SUCKED from the very beginning to the end. I want a 50 cigarettes in a row right now....and have every day this week. I hardly ever cry but right now I just want to lay down on the floor and do just that. No food, no cigarettes, no booze, ....the only thing I have now is friends. That's my only outlet and coping mechanism. Oh, and beading. And working out. I'm gonna go to the gym and get on the rowing machine and try to break that damn thing!!!

GRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR!!!!!!

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Jen, Pam, Terry (& everyone else who needs one):

((HUGS)) ((HUGS)) ((HUGS)) ((HUGS)) ((HUGS))

That's the best I can do from here in cyberspace. No magic words, no wonderful advice... just my cyber-presence and friendship. Rant. Rave. Do what you've got to to let it all out

I always tell my kids that we need to experience the full range of emotions, not try to always be peppy & happy, that it's ok to feel them all... Lord knows that anytime I've had a negative emotion I ATE it to numb it & look where it's gotten me! A fat "pleaser" personality... not good.

Good thoughts for each of you!

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You know, I just love having you guys here....but it truly sucks, when we have allowed ourselves to care for one another, but when one of us really needs us---we can't be there. I would love to swing by and pick up Terry, and let her takie me shopping to show me how to get started beading....then we could run by after school and check on Pammy on her hard day ahead of her. Stop in and see how Jenn's doing, whether she got a call about her interview. Then we could call up everybody, and meet for a tiny, tiny dinners!!!

I felt the same way last week or so when Denise was in such pain with the situation going on with her DD---which by the way---how IS it going?

It is hard to be just an online friend, when you truly feel connected.

I was gonna swing by the nunnery while we were out and make faces at Tracy in her sexy jeans---but heck she too may be at the lawyers---so can't even tease her!!!

Maybe we all need to go to TracyK's get her little one and go to the park...I could bring Kinsey, I am sure they would have a blast!!

I know!! We could all meet up and surprise Judy as she returns home!!! We land on her doorstep with all these problems she is gonna be praying for guidance for sure!!! Sweet Judy---I do miss her when she is gone, but I am so thrilled they had this surgery, and are out living it up together!

Anyway---just so ya know---if I could be there---I would be there!

Hugs to everyone for what all you are going through.

Pamela---I nursed my Grandma, and there were times I was sooooo pissed off at my Mom for her harshness with Grandma. She and I stayed at odds for awhile over it, she seemed to have no patience---she grew frustrated so easily. But my Dad, he was the gentlest man with his MIL as she was dying....he impressed me. But when it was his Dad, he was the short tempered one, and my Mom was the saint. Now.....years later, I find myself being short tempered with my own parents. I love them so much, and they drive me crazy so quickly!!! Wonder why that is?

You mentioned secrets....my Grandma also died of cancer, and she was on Hospice for the last 8 months (she too pushed her time limits---stubborn as the day is long!!!) The last few days she moaned like she was hurting, so they upped her morphine, and left it for us to inject...if she had lasted much longer hurting....I cannot say I would not have given her more than I was told....I know my Grandma, and she would have wanted that. I am ever thankful, she took the decision out of my hands. But we have all seen cartoons, where inanimate objects begin talking...I swear to you the syringe mocked me for 2 days.

Hope everyone makes it through today, with lighter hearts for the weekend!

((((HUGS))))

Kat

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I'm a LOST Fanatic!!! I am obsessed with that show, and I'm ready for it to be over so I know what the hell is going on. Like the last show we saw, where Kate & Jack are off the island and at 'someone's funeral. Grr!

My DH bought me a Lost Diarama set for valentines this year.. it's all the characters with some prop, and then a group set.. They're all boxed in the closet, I thought it was way cool, then he tells me I can't 'play' with them, they might be worth money someday. Yea right.

I go to Tunica today! I'm excited, we're leaving at 4pm.

Magnesium Citrate didn't do much to DH, which was weird. He took the whole bottle in one gulp! He had 2 citrate induced bowel movements, that were fairly quick.. compared to how I was, and I had only been drinking liquids for a week, I think it's odd.

He just brought me my morning coffee.. woohoo!

Have a good day everyone, and remember.. WWJD!!!!!

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Terry - HUGS big giant ones.. I know the feeling

Pamela - didn't it feel kind of good to confess even to yourself. Right before surgery, I had a ton of issues come out and said a few out loud, unfortunately to the friend who is no longer a friend, she knows more about me than anyone - even myself at times. I'm very sorry about your mom.

Kat - that sounds like a great plan - how do we make it happen? LOL

well off to work, will check in tonight

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Oh, so you guys know.. Sunday at noon (central) is when I will start the poker tournament. I haven't played a tournament in a while, so I want everyone to send me good vibes around then!!!

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My work computer is acting all funky and the net connection has been down....

PAM: <<<<<<HUGS GIRLFRIEND>>>>>>>

Terry: I know

OK.. so I go home for lunch and I get the letter from the judge saying that court has been continued... (it's actually a scribbled note on my original fax)

The kicker: I look at the CC:'s and Shrek is included............

OK.. so then I realise they sent the copy of my fax TO HIM... well freaking duhhhhhhhhhhhhhh

It has ALL my numbers (including my private unlisted home number) I called the court and left a message asking if they had blacked out my numbers and guess what I haven't heard a dam thing!

As soon as I realized it.. my band swelled up and I PB'd on Tomato soup............... WONDERFUL.. (ok so maybe it was the tomatoe Soup, with the peach cobbler ice cream and the wheat thin crackers that I started shoving into my mouth) dam stress

Thank God its Friday!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

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LOL.. they just need to hurry up and make teleporting available darn it!

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