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Hubby Thinking Its The "easy Way"



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Ok my husband has somewhat resided to the fact I AM Doing this! Now that I am the insurance provider ..before he was and refused for me to do the surgery..he let me know really quick today I was taking the "easy way out".while I some what understand this mentality ..I just don't understand why he can see how important this is to me? Our marriage in my eyes is secure we have a great and I do mean great relationship .anyone else going or gone thru this?

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Ok my husband has somewhat resided to the fact I AM Doing this! Now that I am the insurance provider ..before he was and refused for me to do the surgery..he let me know really quick today I was taking the "easy way out".while I some what understand this mentality ..I just don't understand why he can see how important this is to me? Our marriage in my eyes is secure we have a great and I do mean great relationship .anyone else going or gone thru this?

Omg.. I cannot tell you how many times my husband told me this!!! He is thinner and was telling me that I need to eat better and exercise. I told him it would be much easier for me once I have lost some initial weight. I have to admit that he is on board more or less now that he has seen my level if commitment these past two weeks on the preop liquid diet. I have lost 12 lbs so far.. Surgery is tomorrow. If you have a good relationship he will eventually get on board just keep explaining that this is NOT easy.. It's life changing. You are doing this for you.. And you need his support! I am sure he is worried that something will happen. Assure him that you want to be healthy and happy. Keep us posted!

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Ty girl! Wow congrats to u ! Wish my day was tomorrow! I really believe he's worried but he's just negative about things like that ..it is very hurtful! Thanx again for ur words! Keep us up to date on ur progress! Will b praying and thinking of u!!

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I don't feel like this is going to be a easy way out lol I go Tues to start my 6 mo of supervise diet and then I go for my first appt in Nov 13 good luck to you and I am sure everybody wish this was easy I been doing alot of reading on this and it doesn't sound easy but I know I will get though this because of support groups like this and other ones and you can 2 :) best of luck

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joy I bet he is more afraid of something happening to you or going to go wrong then anything, Maybe more than he even knows, He is lashing out and saying "easy way out" to kinda get under your skin, instead of saying he's scared. Just let him know that you love him and need his support and that he will see how hard you will be working with this.

Wishing you the very best.

Jny I Will be praying for you and sending you healing thoughts.for your surgery tomorrow.

Nope ladies this is no way an EASY WAY OUT.

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Ty ladies;-) y'all r right I am sure. I just want this so badly and it can be a little hurtful sometimes.i started my 6 month diet on oct.6..I go to surgeon for first visit tomorrow(superexcited) hubby never ask any info therefore I am not forth comming of any..I told him ill just let him know when my day of surgery is! Lol love this forum!

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Ty ladies;-) y'all r right I am sure. I just want this so badly and it can be a little hurtful sometimes.i started my 6 month diet on oct.6..I go to surgeon for first visit tomorrow(superexcited) hubby never ask any info therefore I am not forth comming of any..I told him ill just let him know when my day of surgery is! Lol love this forum!

He is afraid you will look extra sexy & leave him for a younger man lmbo that's what mine says.

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I was the same way when my wife decided to go with surgery. At first I was just worried about her having major surgery then some thoughts of her getting all sexy and leaving I thinks it's just normal for guys. She's been post hope for about 7 months and everything is all good she inspired me to go through with it and tomorrow I have my first appointments with the nurse and diet person

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I think that anyone who has never struggled with their weight seems to be the most "judgmental".the only people who know I going to do this is my hubby &my oldest daughter ,I am a mom of 4.my daughter is super supportive.My dad would flip..due to worry,my in laws would just tell me how stupid I was..and just lose it naturally..easy comming from a mom n law who has been tiny her whole life.i am 5'8 and never know what it was like to be in her shoes..I just want to be happy and healthy in my own skin without worrying about people's comments ..this is why I have chosen to be selective about who I tell!

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I am a little over a month out and there hasn't been one easy thing yet! This has been the hardest thing I've been through. I've cried, I've been mad, I've even wondered "what did I do." This lifestyle change is very emotional! Everyone is different and each of us have our own story but I'm sure everyone will tell you it's definitely NOT an easy way out!

Good luck on your journey!

Jess...Surgiversary 9/19/12

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My sisters thought the same thing but after they are with that first month, they see the real truth. How is it easy to change your entire life and everything you were use to?

Sent from my iPhone using RNYTalk

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Ok my husband has somewhat resided to the fact I AM Doing this! Now that I am the insurance provider ..before he was and refused for me to do the surgery..he let me know really quick today I was taking the "easy way out".while I some what understand this mentality ..I just don't understand why he can see how important this is to me? Our marriage in my eyes is secure we have a great and I do mean great relationship .anyone else going or gone thru this?

On my joy, my husband is the same way. He also never wants to hear about the subject and my son is to young to understand. So I am still going to my classes and doing what I need to do. So you are not alone!

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Thanks Sissy! I understand in a sense their side but its so irritating when people assume u r weak .i guess when it comes to food I am! He just isn't open minded to anything he doesn't agree with or understand ..and that is frustrating! I'm hoping when I reach my goal weight oneday when the surgery actually happens he will see me happy !thanks what I'm banking on anyway;-)

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Joy my husband thought the same thing. I am post op now, and have lost 22 lbs he never has asked how many pounds. He really thinks I could have done this on my own. Of course he has never had a weight problem, and has no idea how being over weight messes with your head. Things are almost back to normal but I wish he was he was totally onboard with this because I am so happy.

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    • Alisa_S

      On day 4 of the 2 week liquid pre-op diet. Surgery scheduled for June 11th.
      Soooo I am coming to a realization
      of something and I'm not sure what to do about it. For years the only thing I've enjoyed is eating. We rarely do anything or go anywhere and if we do it always includes food. Family comes over? Big family dinner! Go camping? Food! Take a short ride or trip? Food! Holiday? Food! Go out of town for a Dr appointment? Food! When we go to a new town we don't look for any attractions, we look for restaurants we haven't been to. Heck, I look forward to getting off work because that means it's almost supper time. Now that I'm drinking these pre-op shakes for breakfast, lunch, and supper I have nothing to look forward to.  And once I have surgery on June 11th it'll be more of the same shakes. Even after pureed stage, soft food stage, and finally regular food stage, it's going to be a drastic change for the rest of my life. I'm giving up the one thing that really brings me joy. Eating. How do you cope with that? What do you do to fill that void? Wow. Now I'm sad.
      · 1 reply
      1. LeighaTR

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    • Alisa_S

      On day 4 of the 2 week liquid pre-op diet. Surgery scheduled for June 11th.
      Soooo I am coming to a realization
      of something and I'm not sure what to do about it. For years the only thing I've enjoyed is eating. We rarely do anything or go anywhere and if we do it always includes food. Family comes over? Big family dinner! Go camping? Food! Take a short ride or trip? Food! Holiday? Food! Go out of town for a Dr appointment? Food! When we go to a new town we don't look for any attractions, we look for restaurants we haven't been to. Heck, I look forward to getting off work because that means it's almost supper time. Now that I'm drinking these pre-op shakes for breakfast, lunch, and supper I have nothing to look forward to.  And once I have surgery on June 11th it'll be more of the same shakes. Even after pureed stage, soft food stage, and finally regular food stage, it's going to be a drastic change for the rest of my life. I'm giving up the one thing that really brings me joy. Eating. How do you cope with that? What do you do to fill that void? Wow. Now I'm sad.
      · 1 reply
      1. summerseeker

        Life as a big person had limited my life to what I knew I could manage to do each day. That was eat. I hadn't anything else to look forward to. So my eating choices were the best I could dream up. I planned the cooking in managable lots in my head and filled my day with and around it.

        Now I have a whole new big, bigger, biggest, best days ever. I am out there with those skinny people doing stuff i could never have dreamt of. Food is now an after thought. It doesn't consume my day. I still enjoy the good home cooked food but I eat smaller portions. I leave food on my plate when I am full. I can no longer hear my mother's voice saying eat it all up, ther are starving children in Africa who would want that!

        I still cook for family feasts, I love cooking. I still do holidays but I have changed from the All inclusive drinking and eating everything everyday kind to Self catering accommodation. This gives me the choice of cooking or eating out as I choose. I rarely drink anymore as I usually travel alone now and I feel I need to keep aware of my surroundings.

        I don't know at what point my life expanded, was it when I lost 100 pounds? Was it when I left my walking stick at home ? Was it when I said yes to an outing instead of finding an excuse to stay home ? i look back at my last five years and wonder how loosing weight has made such a difference. Be ready to amaze yourself.

        BTW, the liquid diet sucks, one more day and you are over the worst. You can do it.

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